Why some people give up and others keep on, keeping on~ even when they don't feel like it!

Sometimes I get asked some really juicy questions by my amazingly insightful clients, that make me go hmmm....and this was one of those questions! I had a short answer that was still being processed in my own mind, and answered it the best I could in the moment, but after reflecting on it, came to my own conclusion.

 Q: "What makes one person give up and stop trying, and another person keep trying no matter what setbacks or obstacles get in the way?" 

 I have pondered this question many, many times myself. My conclusion is this:

They don't allow their feelings in the moment

 to dictate their actions.

For example lets say someone has a goal to get healthy and lose unhealthy body weight that it contributing to serious health problems, but hes little energy and no motivation to exercise.

If a person waits for motivation to do something (let's use exercise for an example) he will likely skip many workouts if he waits for the motivation to come in order to feel like going for a run. Using "I don't feel like it" as an excuse to stay in bed, or on the couch in front of the t.v, is not going to move this person toward his goal. This person is allowing his momentary feeling of fatigue or lack of motivation to determine his actions (not going for the run)

That would be an example of a person giving in to his momentary feelings of not feeling like it, and in affect, does not make the healthiest choice to get up and get moving- despite feelings of low energy and motivation.

So, what can be done to change this scenario?

If a person on a particular day doesn't feel like exercising- but knows (from past experience) that doing so will feel great afterwards and uses THAT as their motivation- they are not allowing their current feelings to dictate their actions...they know that waiting for the feeling of motivation to come is not a way to create lasting changes.

Sometimes the feeling, or motivation never comes. It is in the ACTION that true change occurs. "I don't feel like exercising today, but I know how I feel when I am done, and I like that feeling" motivates. This person has a reference point:
Exercise=feeling good, having a positive outlook, feeling energized
Not exercising= feeling depressed, cranky, tired

My point is that waiting for the motivation to come in order to make positive changes does not usually work. We have to take action (whatever it is) whether we feel like it or not, then the memory or association we have, of how great we feel afterwards will become our motivation to continue.

Need some assistance with getting healthy? I can help!

Call me to book a free introductory session today

Leanne Oaten~ Holistic Counsellor
250-319-3630
soulworkcounselling.com

Are you a SOUL~woman?

Connecting to the essence of who you are

I came up with this concept one day while exercising in nature with my loyal exercise companion, (my dog!) and I literally composed the definition of this while running! I was thinking about how far I have come in my growth and evolution over the past while.  I am more connected with my soul, my inner voice and I actually LISTEN to it now, whereas before I kind of ignored it, and told it to shut up most of the time. 

 Exercise never fails to ignite my inspiration and my creative side. I often come up with some new revelation, idea or awareness while walking or running. If I am feeling creatively challenged or stuck in some way, I can go for a run in the trails and feel like a whole new woman, with ideas and positive energy flowing through me! Then, as things do happen when we are connected to our higher self-synchronicity pops up all over the place. 

Who is a SOUL~woman? 

She is connected. Connected to herself, her inner voice, higher knowing and intuition~ and uses them to help guide her in decision making and all other aspects of life and loving. She is connected to her soul  Spirit, and Universal energy. She is connected with others around her on a soul~ level, and has the desire to help and serve others in what ever way that she can. She has no desire for superficial relationships and can't tolerate small talk. She desires authentic connection with others.

She connects within to find answers, instead of looking without (outside of herself) for she knows the deepest truths, and answers are always inside of her. She uses this inner knowledge to help guide her along the path that will lead her to the right people, places, circumstances and resources that will guide her to her highest potential.

She honors herself and speaks her truth always, for she knows if he doesn't , she is only betraying herself. She values herself enough to honor her truth and speaks up for herself. 

She treats her body with love by listening to it's messages, feeding it pure foods that make her feel vital and alive, exercising it in ways that feel good, and taking care of it with love, for she knows that her body is a sacred temple that carries her through this life with the people she loves, and for that she is Grateful.

She loves herself unconditionally despite her perceived imperfections. She is beautiful on the inside, so much so that this beauty radiates on the outside making her sparkle, and others are drawn to her beautiful energy like a magnet.

She looks for the lesson in all that happens. She believes that there is a divine order to the Universe, and that she can not force life to go her way,and knows that she is always being guided to that which serves her highest good.. 

She is Grateful. She knows that her life is a gift that can be taken from her at any moment, so she chooses to focus on all the good in her life, even when things are not going her way. She knows that just to be alive, and to have all that she has, is something to appreciate, and that there is always, always something to be grateful for.

Are you an aspiring SOUL~ woman? She is within each of us, we just have to make the time to connect with her.

I work with women to help them connect with their inner knowing as a way through healing on all levels. Call me today and set up your free discovery session! 250.319.3630

visit my website: info@leanneoaten.com

Leanne Oaten
Registered Holistic Counsellor R.P.C

Choose your beliefs wisely: Are your beliefs holding you back?

What have you chosen to believe about yourself, your life, and other people? Did you know that you can change your beliefs?  You definitely can! So, if a certain belief. or way of seeing the world is not serving you, and makes you feel badly-choose a different belief or change the way you are looking at the situation!

For example, this was one of my old belief patterns that eventually became toxic for me. Not only did it make me feel badly to live with this belief, it didn't do anything for helping me reach my ideal body and health goals either! It sucked the enjoyment out of life, and complicated what should be a very simple thing. Eat well, only when you are hungry- stop when you are full. Move your body every chance you can during the day, find exercise you enjoy, and do that. Repeat.

Old belief/ thought pattern that no longer serves me: I must exercise like crazy, and burn more calories than I take in. I must work at an intensity level that allows me to burn the most calories-even if I hate the exercise that I am doing. I have to count my calories every day to make sure I am not going over my daily limit. If I slip up and do not follow these rules, I am a failure.

New belief/thought pattern:  I trust my body's inner wisdom, and listen to it's signals. I eat only when I am hungry,  and stop when I am full. I choose to eat foods that make me feel good. I make sure to exercise in some way that I enjoy most days of the week. I adopt a balanced, healthy lifestyle, and know I will be naturally thin because I am developing daily, life-long, attainable habits that I can carry with me for the rest of my life.

Now it's your turn! Grab a pen and paper and give some thought to beliefs that you have that you feel are weighing you down, and sucking the enjoyment of life out of  you. Just begin writing them down as they come to you, do not censor or second guess what comes up...just write until you have nothing left to write. Next,  think about how you can change these beliefs into new beliefs that will support your growth. Keep in mind, that often, many of the beliefs that we carry with us through life, were never ours to begin with. They may come from your childhood, we often take on our parents beliefs, and they became your beliefs, or your best friend, partner, or favorite author's beliefs and views of the world slowly became yours as well. Perhaps it is society in general, and the belief we must conform to what everyone else believes and thinks, instead of questioning it, and deciding if it really makes sense for us to buy into a certain way of seeing things.

  It is a beautiful thing when we realize that we always hold the power to change our thoughts and beliefs into ones that better serve or souls evolution. We don't need to carry the heaviness of negative belief patterns.
We always have a choice to behave, think and believe differently!

~Leanne Oaten

Holistic Counsellor, Healthy Living Coach
www.soulworkcounselling.com
250.319.3630

Green Smoothies vs green juice 101~ How to begin when you fear what it will taste like!

Green Smoothies vs. Green juice- 

What's the difference, and why in the world would you want to drink your greens?

If you are seeing advice to drink green smoothies and green juice everywhere you go, and wonder what all the hype is about and ask "why on earth would I want to drink my greens?" this article should shed some light on that for you. I used to be someone who revolted at the idea of adding kale or spinach to my smoothies, and the thought of drinking green juice was not at all appealing.... that is, until I started actually doing it, and seeing the difference in how I felt! 

After a time of getting into the habit of a daily green juice and a green smoothie, my body actually craves them now! Seriously. I love the taste and how drinking them makes me feel. I have more energy, and generally more get-up-and go!

Green leafy veggies are a powerhouse of nutrients which are essential to our health and vitality. I won't go into the break down of what those are too much, other than to say they are loaded with vitamin C, iron, and chlorophyll among many other vitamins/minerals. But simply, they are just plain great for your whole body, mind and soul. 

The main difference between juicing and blending 

is the fiber content. 

Freshly juiced veggies are mainly just the nutrients of what you are juicing, in it's purest form. The nutrients absorb almost instantly after being consumed, because there is no fiber in the juice. This is the reason why juicing too many fruits is not  a great idea, as it causes a spike in your blood sugar- because the fiber is missing. Stick to using low glycemic veggies and loads of greens!

Green smoothies are the foods in their whole form, with all the fiber in tact,  which fills you up longer. It takes longer to digest than juice, and with protein added, is more like a meal replacement- if you add the right ingredients!

So here is my favorite green smoothie go-to recipe:

1) Greens~ Add the greens to the bottom of the blender first. My recommendation is a Vitamix blender, but I am sure any decent blender will do the trick!

If you are just beginning try slowly increasing the greens gradually over a few days or a week. Keep in mind, that green smoothies are high in fiber and the greens are detoxifying so if you are new to adding more greens into your diet- go easy until your system adjusts! If you are not used to the added fiber it can cause some discomfort of the digestion system at first. Work your way up to filling the blender 1/2 full of greens, or more! (spinach, kale, Swiss chard)

2) Fruit~ Add 1 cup of  frozen fruit of your choice (berries, mango, peaches etc..). I usually throw in 1/2 a frozen banana as it adds a nicer texture to the end result. A little trick for a creamier smoothie is to freeze halved bananas in a container or freezer bag, then they are ready to pop in whenever you need one! Makes all the difference in the texture, and masks the greens flavor.

3) Plant based milk~ 1 cup of any plant based milk (almond, coconut, soy, rice etc) or another delicious option- which adds a bit of sweetness- is Coconut water. The added bonus with using coconut water, is it adds electrolytes- which is perfect for re-hydrating after a workout!

4) Healthy fats~ This is optional, but I like to add a teaspoon of Extra virgin coconut oil. It makes it taste great, and keeps me fuller longer. You could use any plant based oil such as flax, hemp or Udo's brand oil blend.

5) Protein~ There are so many different brands and types available based on your personal preference and dietary choices, I encourage you to find one that is right for you. I do not tolerate whey, but if you do fine with it, this is a great option. I have tried all sorts of vegan varieties  and while some are totally intolerable- and resemble dirt- my favorite Vegan, plant based ones are Vega Sport, Vega One and Warrior Blend. What I like about the Sunwarrior brand is that it is minimally processed and raw.

Another tip: Add the protein powder last, after you have blended all the other ingredients, and blend the powder in on low until it is well incorporated- no need to blend the powders too much!

So there you have it! Now go get your greens on!

~Leanne

~ Healing from the inside out: Overcoming disordered eating and negative body image

Healing from the Inside Out:

Overcome your negative body image and start living!

I have worked with many women who struggle in some form or another, with negative body image/disordered eating and exercise fixation issues. I can understand the pain and suffering one faces when living with this dis-ease, because I too, have experienced everything I am about to share with you. I am happy, and relieved to not be in that place anymore, I have come a very long way, and have worked really hard to heal the cause within me that created this condition. It has been a long road since my diagnosis at the age of 15, I have been struggling with, and working to heal this for over 20 years. While I have not 'arrived' and know this is an ongoing journey, I am able to shift back on track very quickly.

To get to the root of this obsession with food and body image has required tenacity, constant self-awareness and the determination to overcome the obstacles, and above all- learning to love myself through the whole healing process. I have discovered that the root cause of any addictive behavior or self abuse manifests from FEAR and a lack of self love!  

We must learn to love ourselves unconditionally 

before true healing can occur.

  There are so many conflicting and negative messages out there about what it means to be beautiful, sexy, and attractive. Now with the booming health and wellness movement, restrictive eating can very easily be hidden and masked as 'healthy eating' or 'veganism' or 'no carb diets' etc., etc. I am not saying every person that chooses a certain nutritional lifestyle has an eating disorder,  I am only suggesting that it does happen, and it happened to me.

My eating disorder shifted to constantly trying restrictive diets, that the latest health guru suggested. I would eventually feel deprived (and was starving!) and would binge eat whatever I could get my hands on, because I was so hungry! Then the guilt would set in, and I would go back to restriction, and focusing on exercising to burn the calories I just ate, and on and on it went. It was crazy making, and a really miserable place to be. I was not having any fun, and was missing the meaning of life.

FOOD OBSESSION AND RESTRICTIVE EATING comes from a need to control anxiety (anxiety comes from fear) of gaining weight or becoming overweight.

In people with a negative body image, the desire to look like a zero body fat supermodel, or a skinny best friend, is so strong and overpowering, it can feed the anxiety, and  the feelings of being 'not good enough' with the body we have- which leads to the compulsion and fixation on 'getting skinny' and 'losing weight', which leads to unhealthy coping behaviors such as, restricting calories, binge eating, excessive exercising and an overall fear and anxiety of food! It is a vicious cycle, and very difficult to break.

 Negative self-perceptions or distorted body image issues (pretty much thinking you look a lot worse than you actually do!) also goes hand in hand with disordered eating, and obsessive and excessive exercise- all with the end goal of getting skinny, or losing the belly fat you can't stand after having babies. 

Sadly, this cycle can continue in a woman (or man but less commonly so, I am referring to women in this post) that is near skin and bones, and close to death- in the case of Anorexia, 'dying to be thin' takes on a whole new meaning. This is so unbelievably sad, and unnecessary! If only we valued, and accepted ourselves enough to treat our body with love and respect, and heal the hurt inside, this condition would cease to exist. 

What separates an eating disorder from a balanced, healthy approach to choosing healthy foods, eating smaller portions, and adopting a balanced exercise program as part of an overall healthy aspect of your lifestyle - extremes. It is an obsessive fixation, that takes over your whole life.

Whenever there are extremes, in any area of your life, when something takes up a great deal of your time, physical and mental energy and affects your life and relationships negatively, it is time to seek professional help and support. Where there are extremes there is no balance.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms or behaviors, please seek professional help:

~ Obsession or fixation around food: over-restricting, and obsessing over amounts, counting calories consumed, and kinds of foods you will eat.
~  Excessive, rigid or obsessive exercise regime, or forcing yourself to exercise when ill or injured. The feeling you are 'getting fat' right after you eat, and the compulsive urge to go and exercise to burn it off is so strong you are uncomfortable or restless if you don't.
~ Compulsive need to weigh yourself daily, or several times daily-  perhaps leading to, and perpetuating the behaviors above. You place your value as a person and mood, based on the number on the scale. 
~ Fixation with perceived body flaws: hating your reflection in the mirror, thoughts of disgust and intense aversion for certain body parts.

These are just a few of the ways this disorder manifests itself. It is not always just one of the signs that indicates there is a problem, but often a combination of them, leading to lack of enjoyment, happiness and zest for life. You don't have to suffer in silence, there is help from people who have been there. I am just one of them. 

If you are looking for help and support in healing negative body image and disordered eating issues, I am here to help. I can be reached at 250-319-3630 or www.soulworkcounselling.com

Yours in health,
~Leanne

Watch this video!

Healing through Self~LOVE

Healing through Self~LOVE 

The true path to personal transformation

 Self love is extending to our~SELF,  

the same kind of love 

and caring we would to a loved one, child or friend 

who is hurting or upset.

Many clients ask me what it means to love yourself. It's a bit of an evasive term, but really it is quite simple to understand- not to easy to practice!

 I refer to this often as an essential component to all healing during my work with others, and make sure to practice it myself on a daily basis.

Self love is the foundation, and main ingredient to all other personal growth work and healing.

It is essential to have a strong sense of love for yourself, before you can ever extend it to others, and heal what is broken within.

Most of us will easily and effortlessly offer love, support, comfort, and validation to others who are hurting or afraid- it just comes naturally-  but when we ourselves are feeling an emotion that doesn't feel good, or that we wish to not be feeling, or we are having feelings of not being good enough, looking good enough, feeling energetic enough, popular enough, and so on, we abuse ourselves with the thoughts we think- and the way we speak to ourselves.

 Do any of these sound familiar?

"What is wrong with me, why am I so anxious all the time?", "oh yuck, look at my {insert body part} I look disgusting", "I am so stupid!", "I can't do anything right", "nobody likes me", "I look terrible today",  and on and on it goes, in a steady stream of self- abuse, repeatedly throughout the day.

These kinds of thoughts are the opposite of self~loving, they are self~loathing. So think about it from the perspective I mentioned before about how you respond to a friend who was upset about something, or just feeling sad and in a funk. Would you respond with a hurtful, criticism or insult? Of course you wouldn't- or you likely would not have many friends!  Likely you would make her a cup of tea, tell her to sit down and listen to the hurt and pain she is expressing. You would offer her comfort and acceptance, and honor however she is feeling in the moment. You would let her cry, and tell her it's going to be ok.

Love yourself as you would love your best friend.

So why is it that we treat ourselves so poorly? Most of the time, it comes from messages we were given as children by our caregivers, parents, relatives and siblings, that we bought in to, and have continued to believe are true. Now those 'voices' are continually playing in the mind like an old tape, replaying the same messages of why we aren't good enough.( If you want to dig a little deeper here, you can even ask when you catch yourself running these negative messages go through your mind, "who's voice do I hear?" and most of the time, the answer will appear. It will most often be a parent or or other significant caregiver who comes into awareness.)

The first step in developing self~love is awareness. Start by becoming aware of how many unloving thoughts you think about yourself, and the hateful ways you speak to yourself. You will be shocked I am sure. If you are feeling really daring, decide to record all your negative thoughts for one whole day in a notebook- then reflect on how badly you treat yourself when you re-read what you wrote. This exercise is a huge eye-opener so get ready to get real! Then after you see how mean you have been- apologize to the little child within that may still need healing and love- that you have continued to abuse her with your thoughts and behavior. This is deep work, and may cause some intense emotions. Let them surface  feel them, release them and let them go. 

Decide today you will no longer treat yourself badly!

The next time you catch yourself thinking an unloving thought, STOP and affirm a more self ~LOVING one. The next time you are feeling sad or upset, make yourself a cup of tea, sit on the couch and have a good cry. Tell your self every single day "I love me!" and eventually you will start acting in ways that make it a reality!


~Leanne
www.soulworkcounselling.com

Looking for the Lesson during illness

~Looking for the Lesson During Illness~

Recently I was knocked down with one of the worst flues I ever recall experiencing. It hit very hard and very quickly. Headache, body-aches, fever, dizziness, cough, and debilitating fatigue. I was reduced to having to lay in bed for 3 straight days, and shut the world off around me. It took over 9 days to begin to see the light and get back to the land of the living.  Clients were cancelled, reports left undone, laundry left to pile up, and all I could do was let it all go, I had no choice! Normally I could push through and keep going..... but definitely not this time.

 I remember thinking at one point, in my state of suffering, "I am so glad this is just the flu, and I am going to get well when it's over."This awareness left me with a deep sense of Gratitude for my health and my life. Some people have to live with chronic, incurable conditions with little hope of regaining full health, I just had a flu. So I focused on that, that was my positive in what felt like a very negative experience.

 I nurtured my body back to health with green juice, lots of water water, herbal tea, and little mini meals to keep me going. I took 5,000IU of vitamin D,  8,000 mg. of vitamin C, Echinacea tincture, and Zinc throughout the duration. I took hot Epsom salt baths twice daily to sweat out the toxins (and survive the body aches which were unbearable at times) and rested as much as possible. I also felt so much appreciation  for my husband who dropped everything in my time of need, and took over with the children and cooking meals when I couldn't carry on.

I am very dedicated to my health and wellness, as you are aware if you have ready my previous posts, and I have always believed that if I controlled what I put in my body, the chemicals I was exposed to, kept my thoughts positive, exercised, drank lots of water, and so on, I would be protected from illness, or at least lessen my chances of becoming sick. For awhile it seemed to be working, but each time I would come down with some sort of virus (usually brought home by the children from school) I would over-analyse it, questioning what I could have done differently, how can I be healthier? Reduce my stress more? Think more positively? Eat more green veggies? Exercise more? Do more Yoga? You get the picture.

While it is important to prioritize our health and wellness, and treat our bodies with respect, we must also realize that it's health and functioning is not always completely within our control. All we can do is our best to live a healthy lifestyle and let go of the rest. Taking care of the mind, body and soul is the best way to achieve balanced health. It is not enough to focus solely on nutrition, or exercise everyday and ignore our thoughts and stress levels. We can do all that is within our power to enjoy life, and treat our bodies well- but illness, and eventual death is something we will never escape. Buddhism teaches that illness, aging, and death are part of the human experience- a truth that we must not ignore or overlook. We must look our greatest fear in the face, and use this knowing- we are not here forever- to make the most of our days while we are still here on this Earth. 

Life is a gift. Health is a gift. And both can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. This is something many people go about their days taking for granted. To be able to go for a run, walk the dog, carry on with our daily activities and experience the wonders of life and love, it is all a gift. We must enjoy the moments as they are given to us, and make the most out of each day. Take care of your body, let go of fears, love the ones who are in your life fully and completely, let go of attachments to everything and anything, live in the moment, be deeply Grateful for your blessings and the good in your life. This may just be the one truth that is the key to happiness! Focus on all that you have. If you are healthy today, say Thank you to the Universe for that. If you are unwell, thank the Universe that you are still alive to see, hear, breathe, touch, feel,  and be with your loved ones. These are truly the simple pleasures of the human experience that make life meaningful. 

After 9 days now...I am happy to be on the mend, and feeling huge Gratitude and appreciation for my body, and it's ability to heal. I am looking forward to getting into outdoor running again now that the snow is leaving, and Spring is just around the corner. Life is good, and I am happy to be well again!

Wishing you abundant health and happiness....and a quick recovery if you are sick too!

~Leanne

www.soulworkcounselling.com