You're too sensitive! Finding balance. feeling good. and loving life as a sensitive soul

Are you too sensitive? Read on..this is actually a good thing!

Lets be real. Life can be pretty stimulating and overwhelming and there are daily stressors that we all go through in our lives that can knock us off course, and leave us feeling like staying in bed all day, and shutting the world out.  All of the pain, suffering, and mayhem going on in the world around us, can be all too much to fathom sometimes. Not to mention the day to day realities like managing a household, marriage maintenance or conflict, making sure our children are thriving, our teens are staying out of trouble and harms way, work, careers, health issues, financial troubles, family issues, and so on.

 When life gets to feel like too much, and I find myself feeling overwhelmed, edgy and impatient with my family, I know I need to take action to take care of my needs. This week has been one of those weeks, I have felt like hiding from the world. Having the kids at home full-time leaves little time for me to have my solitude and quiet, and my mediation practice has been sporadic. When I stop doing the things that keep me balanced and grounded- look out!

According to the research I have done, I fall into the category of being a  Highly Sensitive Person. also termed and empath, and fit the criteria almost completely. To clarify, this is not a disorder or anything that is diagnosed by a psychiatrist and it does not exist in the diagnostic manual for mental illness or psychiatric disorders, so it is not a mental illness, however I am convinced it is a real problem for many people, they just don't know what they are dealing with or how to make changes. I have always had many struggles with handling too much chaos, or too many things going on all at once. I become overloaded very quickly, and I have learned to  know when I am reaching the point of 'overload madness'.

 I have helped 'sensitive' clients take their personal power back with this awareness I now have, and have taught them how to be gentle with themselves, and set healthy boundaries on the energy drains in their lives.

Two of my biggest downfalls where I struggle the most, is that I tend to over- think, and over- analyse situations, and I feel things on a very deep level. I remember this being the case even when I was really young. I have heard "stop being so sensitive! "and "you think too much" many times in my life. And for the longest time, I really felt there was something wrong with me. Other people around me didn't seem to be bothered by things that way that I was. They could eat and drink whatever they wanted, survive on little sleep, and go non-stop from one thing to the next, exercise like a machine and seemingly never be affected. This has never been the case for me.

I also have to be very mindful that I don't absorb the energies and emotions of others around me. I have to take really good care of myself to stay balanced.

Over the past few years, I have learned that there is actually nothing wrong with me, but that I am just wired differently. My nervous system is easily overloaded, and I need to take extra care of to stay in check and self-aware.

I also wonder if being an sensitive soul has had a part to play in the other issues I have encountered in my life, such as depression, anxiety, and Adrenal burnout. I have done some research on my theory, and the more I learn, the more I believe the three could be connected, at least to some degree in some individuals. SELF- Awareness is key, so now that I am aware of my specific, unique needs, I can usually plan my life accordingly.

I have come to embrace my sensitivity, and now know how to protect my sensitive nature in ways I didn't know how to before. From setting healthier boundaries, learning to tune in to my mind, emotions and body's signals, to saying no to requests that I know will drain me, and paying attention to the people I surround myself with, I am now able to manage this sensitivity to negativity and chaos and I now see my sensitivity is actually a strength, not a weakness. I feel things deeply, I have emotion for other people's pain and suffering, and empathy comes very easily to me. The downside to this, is that I tend to be hurt by the actions of other very deeply.

When one of my children is upset, I can tune into the emotion they are feeling, and soothe their souls with my presence and words almost like magic (most of the time!) because I can actually feel what they are feeling, so I know what to do, and not do.

Sensitive people are highly intuitive. I am prone to pick up on other peoples energies, which at times can be a problem, but I have learned ways to protect myself from absorbing or taking on other peoples negative energy. The positives of this gift, are that I can hear what is beneath the words that are being spoken, I can feel the emotion underneath what is being said, especially when the words don't match what I am sensing someone is feeling. This serves me in my personal and professional life, and greatly assists me in facilitating the healing of others.

So, I have taken something that can sometimes be seen by the world as a negative trait, and instead of 'toughening up' I am embracing who I am wholeheartedly. I accept who I am ,and I am OK with all of me in a way I was not before.

Love yourself. Embrace who you are. You are perfect just as you are right now!

If after reading the link above titled "Highly Sensitive Person" and this blog, you can identify with some of these unique characteristics within yourself, here are a few tips on how to thrive in the chaos of life.

 Tune in. Self- Awareness is the biggest piece to the whole puzzle and is the foundation for all of the healing work we will ever do. We have to be aware of what is happening within our mind and body, in order to take corrective action.  Body awareness begins with checking in.
 Are you feeling pressure or tightness in your head? Tightness in your chest, or shortness of breath? Do you get headaches? Do you feel like you are going to explode or lose your cool? Like you are operating on your last nerve? These are all signs that you need to take a time out. Even for 5 minutes, remove yourself from the situation, and do something calming. Deep breathing, writing out your thoughts, go for a walk, talk it out. Whatever works for you, and won't harm anyone, do it!

Create rituals. Most mornings I don't schedule anything until 10 a.m. if I can avoid it. The morning is reserved for me to get ready for the day, have my coffee, read, write, and reflect. On the mornings I don't do this, I feel out of sorts, like something is missing in my day. Carving this time out just for me, sets my day on a positive note. At night, I love hot Epsom salt aromatherapy baths, listening to inspirational pod casts, and Abraham Hicks. I also read for a few minutes in bed every night before turning out the lights. All of these things take up little time, but they create structure and ground me. Find what works for you, and fit those things into your day, every single day that you can possibly do it.

Learn to say no. If you don't want to do it, and someone's life isn't depending on it, just kindly, with love, say thank you but no thank you. And move on! Save your time and energy for the things that fill you up, and avoid the things that drain you dry. Simple but not always easy.

Avoid people places and activities that deplete you.
This can be difficult when this includes family, but reducing your time spent with people that make you feel like the life force has been sucked out of you, is only going to help you reserve your energy for the people who need your positive vibes and loving presence.

If this has resonated with you at all, I encourage you to do as much reading about it as possible so you can learn ways to cope and thrive as a sensitive soul, and embrace this gift!
Here   is a good place to start!

I am here to support you in your journey.

~Leanne

Leanne Oaten
Registered Holistic Counsellor| Soul Centered Therapy
www.soulworkcounselling.com