IN~Power hour: 21 days to a happier, healthier more grounded YOU.

"Whole Being" Self-Care is essential for vibrant health, emotional healing, life balance, stress management and experiencing deeper fulfillment, happiness and joy.

I believe, and know to be true from my own personal experience, that the key to being well, and in a balanced, calm, grounded, healthy and happy state is taking care of my mental, emotional, physical and spiritual self on a daily basis. It is an art, and requires constant awareness and attention to meeting my own needs, and caring for myself with love and respect for my body.


It is not one thing that we do on occasion that leads to improved health, and greater happiness, but an accumulation of smaller, consistent actions we take from moment to moment, day to day.

 I receive immense fulfillment from my self-care and spiritual rituals, and have witnessed how powerful this is for many people I know, and clients I work with. I have watched women bloom like a lotus flower once they begin making the transformation from living feeling like their external world has the control over their feelings and experiences, to going to a quieter, more self-honoring, self-loving place, through learning to honor and tend to their own nurturing and self-care. I now have the privilege of being the guide to others seeking what I have been seeking my whole life- a deep connection to my inner self , a soul connection. A connection to something bigger than myself or what I can actually see with my eyes. Something that can not be explained but only experienced. A level of healing and peace that is the result of going within, on a daily basis, and putting myself first. A thirst for a greater experience and a deepening of my inner life, and consciousness.

The following self-care challenge is inspired by and adapted from author Jack Canfield, with a few added twists. :)

The intention of this challenge is to help you get into the daily habit of caring for yourself, on a mental, physical, emotional and spiritual level. Committing this time to yourself may bring up feelings of guilt or discomfort, this is normal if you are not used to giving to yourself in this way. I suggest that you continue this challenge for the full 21 days, so that it becomes habitual, and you can begin to see the positive effects of being consistent, and showing up for yourself every single day in this self-loving way. Play around with the time of day, and the sequence in which you do these practices.

For 21 days, choose 2 of the suggested practices below (40 minutes total time). Even better, is completing the full hour if time allows. Commit to doing a minimum of 2 practices daily, and get ready for some radical changes!

The IN~POWER hour:

You will need:
60 minutes
A timer/clock
A quiet space for your reading/ reflection portions
A journal or notepad
Positive, inspiring reading material (books, magazines)
A fireplace, stainless steel bowl or tin foil*

Mental & Emotional ~ Read or write  (20 minutes)
Option 1:

Depending on how you are feeling, you may feel like clearing any negative thoughts, or emotions rather than just reading. If so, you can spend spend this time doing a mind dump on paper for (set a timer for 10 minutes). During this time, just purge everything that is weighing on your mind, with the intention of releasing whatever negativity is within you onto the paper. Do not over-think it, or get hung up on feeling like you can't think of anything to write. Let go of self-

judgement and do not worry about grammar. Now..please keep an open mind about what I am bout to suggest. For best results- burn it (or shred it if burning safely is not an option) right after you are done. The most important thing is that you dispose of what you wrote, as it holds the emotional energy you are intending to clear. This exercise, of writing and burning is a powerful practice. I have personally had amazing results, and every person I have prescribed this to as homework in my personal life, and coaching and counseling practice. Many say they feel like a huge weight is lifted each time they do it. It is a way of clearing the negative, toxic emotional clutter so we make room for experiencing more positive emotions. It is a practice you can return to again, and again depending on what is happening in your life.
After you are complete, you can spend the rest of the 20 minutes reading something, or just sit with whatever emotions have come up from the exercise.

Option 2: spend the entire 20 minutes reading something that inspires you and feeds your mind with uplifting ideas and makes you feel awesome. 



 Physical ~ Movement: (20 minutes)

Spend 20 minutes exercising. As long as you are moving, it all counts! Go for a power walk, do some running intervals, go for a mindful walk, do yoga, dance, walk on a treadmill or other indoor cardio machine, lift weights. In the colder months I like to work out in my home exercise room, and move outdoors as the weather gets warmer. But do whatever you want! This portion is best done at the end to help clear anything that came up for you during your writing or meditation, but play around with the order and see what feels best for you.

Spiritual~ Prayer/Meditation  (20 minutes)

Spend this time beginning with a prayer to whatever feels right for you (The Divine, Universal Intelligence, Spirit, God) Light a candle, some incense if you wish, play some music that feels relaxing and peaceful to you, or just sit in silence. There is absolutely no wrong way to do this, so find your own way to get connected.

If Prayer is for asking,

Meditation is for listening.

Once you have concluded your prayer, begin your meditation for the remainder of your 20 minutes. Get comfortable, sitting up or lying down and just connect you your breath, and whatever is going on within. This is a time to just be with what is. Notice what comes up. You may be surprised by tears, or a feeling of sadness, perhaps anger or agitation. You may feel like  you are jumping out of your skin having to sit until the timer goes off..that is OK! Just sit with it, notice it. This is what meditation is. It is not complicated, but it is life changing when we make it a habit to spend some time with our inner selves every day.


And that's it! Carry on with this for 21 days straight, and this will likely become your favorite time of the day. This is the perfect way to carve out a quality 60 minutes, just for yourself, and if you are consistent and it becomes a daily habit that you carry with you after the 21 days, your life will change in amazing ways to be sure.

* If you do not have anything to burn your writing in, you can create a ' burning bowl' using tin foil. Make sure it only has a small opening so that embers and sparks can't escape! Safety first, if you can not safely burn your pages, use another method to dispose of your work.

~Leanne


Leanne Oaten
Registered Holistic Counsellor| R.P.C
 Visit my website and download your free eBook today!

My suggsted reading list for creating an awesome life

Just a few of the books I own ;)

I love books, and always have..however; novels are not my thing. I will admit, I got sucked into the 50 Shades series (because a friend insisted I take a break from all of my psychology studying when I was in school), and I gave in, to appease her. While I did end up enjoying the read  (and the diversion), I get the most satisfaction out of reading books that inspire me, teach me new ways of seeing the world, and offer new ideas when I am feeling stuck in certain areas of my life. So, if you are strictly a novel reader (and hate self-help/personal growth books) this list may not be for you.

 Because I am often asked what books I recommend on various topics related to health/wellness and personal growth, and recently had a follower request my favorites, I have decided to create a running list of my favorites, which I will add to as I discover new ones.


Health/Wellness/Weight Loss:

"Full-Filled" and the Renee Method was a life changer for me. I use some of her methods in my emotional eating workshops, and with clients experiencing issues around food/weight loss.
Her website: http://www.reneemethod.com/fulfilled/about-renee/

"Ultra Metabolism" by Dr. Mark Hyman (or any of his books) they are invaluable to have as a go-to health resource, and are full of so much info about cleaning up your diet and getting healthy from the inside out. I love his holistic approach because it is about life style changes, not quick-fix fad diets. Again, another life changing book!

"Adrenal Fatigue-The 21st Century Stress Syndrome" by Dr. J Wilson
A must read if you are always tired, sick and stressed out, or already know you have adrenal burnout.

"Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" by Christiane Northrup M.D
Every single woman should have a copy of this and refer to it as a often as possible. It is in my opinion, a women's holistic health bible and it is truly amazing. I encourage all women to research and seek out anything she has written, as her work is ongoing.

"Green Housekeeping" A bible on detoxifying your home and life.

"Natural Baby & Childcare" Full of remedies and advice on raising children the natural way. I still refer to this book as my children grow. When they are sick, I use the homeopathic guide included here.

Personal development/Self-love & Healing

Anything written by Louise Hay & Cheryl Richardson. They are amazing, and their books will stir your soul! If I could choose just one from each author it would be: "The Art of Extreme Self-Care" by Cheryl, and "You can Heal Your Life" by Louise.

"The Power of Intention" by Wayne Dyer
An intense, heavier read, but invaluable reference for getting serious about manifesting your desires through your power of intention.

"Living with Joy" by Sanaya Roman
This is a beautifully written book and lives up to it's title. Lots of good stuff about living with more joy!

"The Gifts of Imperfection" & "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown. (Reading these right now, it will change the way you look at yourself, and those around you!)

Parenting

"Parenting from the Inside Out" by Siegel Hartzell
A beautiful book for parents of children from conception- teen years, it is timeless advice, but not for the faint at heart. This book requires you to go deep within!

Spiritual Growth (Soul-work)
*Many of the books I have suggested have spiritual components but here are some of my favorite authors of spirit-growth.

"Spirit Junkie" by Gabrielle Bernstein
"Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser

Anything by Marianne Williamson


Mind/Body Healing

*These books cover our emotions and how they are often connected to our physical condition and symptoms. There are too many books on this to count, but these are my 3 go-to books that I am always referring to.

"You can Heal you Life" by Louise Hay
"Your Body Speaks you Mind" by Deb Shapiro
" Mind Over Medicine" by Lissa Rankin

 I will continue to add more as they come to me. Now head to the book store, or library and find the one that is calling for you to read first!

Happy reading :)

~Leanne
www.soulworkcounselling.com

Tips for a healthy and happy Halloween (but you can use all year round)

As a parent, I have always done my best to feed my kids a whole foods, natural organic diet. From the moment they began eating solid foods, I was in the kitchen pureeing organic fruits and veggies because I wanted to give them the best start that I possibly could. It was so important to me, that I made it my mission to seek out the healthiest options available, and continue to expand on my knowledge and tools as I know more.

Growing up, my Dad was really stingy with allowing us to have sugar. We never had junk food in our house, and the only time we would have pop would be if we were at someone elses house, and back then, you can believe I thought he was really lame!
 I do also see now that he was a little overboard, but as an adult with children of my own,  I am so very grateful that my Dad instilled this in me at such a young age. To this day, I am not a candy person, and I will never drink pop or sugary drinks because I have no desire to put that in my body.

So now, I carry on the legacy with my children, and I choose to limit these things from their diet as much as possible, while still allowing for some flexibility. My desire to teach them and guide them in this way, now comes from pure love, where in the past it came more from a fear place. 

As parents it is our duty, our responsibility, to teach our children about healthy eating, and why it is so important. Part of this teaching, actually most of it, comes from the example we set for them. We need to teach them to love themselves enough to put healthy foods into their bodies. Teach them this life- lesson early! It's not about restriction, it's about self-love. It is never too early to begin teaching these concepts to our children.

Childhood obesity is rampant in our society, (as are eating disorders) and this is just so very sad to me because something can be done to prevent this. It begins by teaching our children about self-love.

This is a subject I am very passionate about, and is what drives me to always do my very best to teach my children by teaching them about healthy eating, as well as modeling this in the way that I choose to take care of my body. "When we love ourselves, we take good care of our bodies" is the message.

I read somewhere that child absentees in schools skyrockets right after Halloween. I have seen this happen every year in our schools, and if my kids have overindulged in sugar on Halloween or other special occasions, they often succumb to some virus that going around. While children do get sick and we can't always avoid this, we can reduce the number of illnesses, or at least the severity and duration of the virus simply by reducing sugar and sugar loaded processes foods (a.k.a. dead foods) in our children's diets. Keep this in mind: Sugar depresses immune function. Our immune system is compromised for 3-4 hours after consuming sugar, so we want to reduce the amount of times in a day we depress our immune system, if we want to stay healthy!

Here are my tips for keeping kids healthier during candy season- and all year round:

1) For trick-or-treating, make the evening special in other ways. Buy some dollar store items and give them goodie bags with trinkets, glow sticks, stickers etc. Make the evening about more than just candy. Then go out for a pre-decided amount of time, and stop when the time is up. I give my kids a very small treat bag for collecting- not a pillowcase I have seen some kids fill up! I don't want candy hanging around until the New Year!

2) Before heading out, make sure the kids get a nutritious, protein packed, whole food meal. This will help prevent the blood sugar spike that comes from eating sugar. And they will be so full from dinner, they won't have much room for candy...hopefully anyways ;)

3) A tip my naturopath gave me, which seems so simple, I can't believe I didn't think of it, is to set the limit with the kids, that they can have one sugar per day. This takes away the "if I can't have it I want it even more" mentality, but doesn't overload the child's system too much at one time.

4)  Protein before sugar. As above, it slows down the affect of the sugar in their system. If my kids are going to eat sugar, I make them eat protein first..this also reduces the sugar crash that often comes 1-2 hours later as the blood sugar plummets. I am sure we have all experienced a cranky child after they come down from a sugar high! Not fun.

5) Be flexible, but firm. Being too rigid just makes kids want what we say they can't have even more. So, allow them to be kids and have treats, but also set the limit, and step in when they have had enough.

The truth is, we must teach our children the difference between having a treat, and overindulgence, so that when they are adults, they can better discern what foods make them feel good, and which ones make them feel gross. They must learn for themselves, "when I eat too much junk I feel sick" so they can make decisions when they are not with us, about what to put in their bodies, and how much.

I still remember so clearly, my youngest was at a Ruckers Birthday party last year, I picked her up and could tell immediately she was not feeling well. She almost looked green.  As we went out to the car she was saying how she "felt like to puke" and that her tummy was hurting, she fussed and cried the whole way home. She had a slushy pop drink, cake, pizza and candy all within the short time she was there. No wonder she felt sick. Both of my girls have had this experience, and I trust they now have the tools to discern for themselves when they are not with me, weather or not to eat cake or not have pop, because they don't want to feel sick.

As adults we are still learning this one, so it is a constant learning and discerning. "How will I feel if I eat that?" This is a good question to teach our children to learn to ask themselves, and some invaluable life lessons that will serve them their whole lifetime.

Have a fun, safe, healthy and happy Halloween!

~Leanne
www.soulworkcounselling.com

The little lies we tell ourselves, and fear of authenticity

"Out of 100 lies we speak only 10 lies we speak outside, the other 90 we are speaking to ourselves, about ourselves. ..the wise words of Madhuji Sri, one of my spiritual mentors, as he taught this lesson recently to our Healing Beings team, about living in truth. I found this statement so profound, it has stuck with me ever since I heard those words. I have been contemplating what this means in my life, and have been really reflecting on how I am doing so far, in my desire to live a life of truth, with myself, and the world.

Give this some thought...how honest are you being with YOU about your life, and what you want? How happy you really are with your life? The state of your marriage? The state of your health? How many times a day do you tell yourself little and big lies, to avoid having to deal with the truth because the truth seems so impossible, to difficult to live by? Or, perhaps because there is underlying shame or guilt that is way too uncomfortable to feel when we acknowledge our truth, so we lie to avoid it.

If you were to really, truly look at the truth, and be honest with yourself, what would that mean for you or others in your life if you started getting ruthlessly real? What would need to change?

We could continue for the duration of our lives, lying to ourselves, and nobody would likely ever know. Nobody that is, accept ourselves. We know, our soul knows, our body knows. The lies we tell ourselves, have an affect on our mental, physical, and emotional health, and well-being, because we are always at war within. We are suppressing, and distracting, and avoiding the truth about how we really feel, which puts the body in a constant state of stress. We are terrified of showing the world our true nature, our true selves.

 

Lies we tell ourselves, and others......

 

"My marriage/family is wonderful", "every thing's great!" "I am not good enough", " I love being a  stay-at-home mom!", "being a parent is so easy!", "I can't do it", "I am stupid", "I don't deserve that", "I am a failure", "I am happy", "my life is amazing", "everything is perfect", "I love my job", "work is great", "I have nothing to be unhappy about", these are some of the lies we tell ourselves, and others. Why do we do this? We do this because to actually look at the state of our crumbling marriage, dysfunctional family, the job that is sucking our soul, the fact that we are depressed and not functioning well, are overweight or our physical health is failing, or are not as happy being a parent as we thought we would be, are all very painful, and uncomfortable parts of ourselves to get real about, never mind admit to somebody else!

I remember a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago when our children were really little,  about being a stay-at-home mom. We were (sort of but not really) joking around about counting down the minutes until we could have a glass (or two) of wine at the end of each day just to unwind our frazzled nerves . We talked about how painfully difficult some of those long days were, feeling trapped in the house with a colicky baby or sick and tired children, all while being extremely sleep deprived and burned out, were some of the most difficult days we had ever had. We wondered what was wrong with us, and how some parents just seem to have it all figured out, have it all together, with perfectly dressed kids, a perfectly clean house, all while working a full time job, among many other things, all done with a smile on their face, seemingly as if having children didn't affect how they lived their lives at all.

I feel safe in saying that many parents feel too afraid to have this kind of conversation with others, about the realities of parenting. We don't want to come across like we don't love our children with our whole hearts, or to be perceived as a 'bad parent'. So, instead we exhaust ourselves trying to keep up appearances that all is perfectly wonderful, when in reality, we are just barely keeping it all together. I know this, because I was one of those Moms, and I felt like such a failure for so many years, because I could barely keep up with my responsibilities. But now that I can get real about what parenting young kids was (and sometimes still is) like for me, others open up to me, and hopefully feel assured that they are not alone, and are not bad Moms for feeling this way.

As parents, we must have a deep appreciation and gratitude for every single day we have with our children. They truly are a gift and a blessing, and we wouldn't trade having them for anything in the world.  But the truth is, being real about how difficult it can be, or how some days we wish we could run away for awhile, and be all alone somewhere really, really quiet, and just have a break from the world and our responsibilities, does not make us a bad parent- it makes us human!

So, I invite you to ask yourself what needs to change in your life. What do you need to get real with yourself and others about? What masks and cover-ups do you wear around certain people, but not others? Do you change these 'masks' to fit the image you are trying so hard to portray to certain people? And if so, what fear is behind those masks? What are you terrified that others will know about you?

Part of healing, growing and evolving, is getting real.

Getting real with self, and with others, and speaking the truth about ourselves, to ourselves.

It is so sad to really consider, that most of us, if not the entire human race, has some form of self-rejection going on in their lives, or at least has had some past experience with it.

Rejection of self, is basically self- hatred, and self- loathing. It is feeling that something within us is so damaged, flawed, wrong, broken and bad, that we feel we have to lie, fake, and cover up who we truly are, and how we truly feel, because we are terrified that if others knew the truth, they would run for the hills.

The truth is though, we are our own worst critic. We judge the shit out of ourselves, and continually abuse ourselves with our brutal self talk, and distorted self-perceptions.

What is the point of living, if not living in truth, and authenticity? If we are not living authentically, are we truly living? Why do we sell ourselves out? Sell ourselves short? Think so little of who we are, that we feel we have to cover up our true nature?

 Why not get real, and start saying what we want to say, doing more of what we truly want to do, and get really brutally honest with ourselves, and start living a life of truth?

Here's an exercise to get you started: Get quiet, without interruption, and sit with the question "in what ways, and with whom am I being dishonest?" "what masks do I wear, and with whom?", "in what ways am I not being real, and authentic with myself, and the world?"... and just sit and listen for the answers. If you sit and are quiet for long enough, answers will come to you.

 Awareness is the first step to any growth or change, after that, comes the acceptance and forgiveness (of self) and release of self-judgment, and shame. Just accept and forgive yourself for these lies. You are not a bad person. Now that you know better, you can do better. Love yourself, have compassion for yourself, and for why you felt the need to be dishonest with yourself (or others.)

The next step would be to ACT. Take action to right these lies. If there is an action to take, what might that be?  Whatever you feel is right to do, act on that intuition.

Living a life of truth is so much easier, and so much more fulfilling and beautiful, then trying to make up who you actually are. Being truthful allows life to flow more with ease. So start becoming more aware of those little lies you whisper to yourself, and the un-truths you tell others, and shine light on your truth, and authentic self.

~Leanne
www.soulworkcounselling.com

Finding your strength through vulnerability

Being a personal expansion and growth seeker, I absolutely adore, and devour everything written or spoken by brilliant authors and inspirational people, and have since the age of 15. It always seems that right when I am ready to tackle another layer of my growth and healing, the right people show up, and the perfect books fall into my hands, almost effortlessly. It has always been like this for me.


The work that I do, is an extension of who I am, and what I am passionate about. Helping people through their time of suffering, assisting them in their own healing, and hopefully inspiring others through my writing, talks, workshops, and service to the community, is why I do what I do. I aspire to be one of those inspiration people, that I have for so long sought after, to help guide me through the dark and ugly places I have been in my life.

While I have attained the education required, to be a "professional counsellor" I also know that my power to inspire, teach and lead, is not so much in the academics and certifications I have received, but in the leading by example for others to see. Being the model for growth, by doing the work, reading, learning, healing myself first, so I can then help others do the same. It is finding my own way to coach and counsel clients, that are at times, outside of the box.

 As registered counsellors, we have a very clear set of rules we must follow in our"code of ethics", and we agree to follow these ethics for the protection of ourselves, as well as our clients. Many of the ethical standards we follow are sound, and make sense to keep healthy boundaries with clients, and we model this behavior to teach our clients what personal boundaries look like.

While I agree there needs to be certain guidelines in place when we are doing such delicate work, serving people sometimes when they are at their most vulnerable and broken state, we also need to listen to our intuition. Asking, "what does this person most need to hear right now?" At times, we must break the rule of "not sharing any personal stories or information with a client." This person may need to be assured they are not alone in their struggles, that there is hope, and we are ALL perfectly imperfect, winging it in this life! Counsellors are human beings too, we have struggles, pain and suffering just like everyone else. The truth is, we also need to see a counsellor from time to time, to continually work through our own processes.

There is no shame in reaching out for help. Asking for, and reaching out for support and help is a sign of strength. It takes courage to face your own demons. Your own ego, your own shit.

One of the agreements of our "code of ethics" is "no physical contact" with a client. A hand on the knee of someone crying, or a hug could be taken the wrong way, or may offend the client. At first, when I was in my training, I was all about boundaries, and drawing lines in the sand, so this made sense to me. But as I grow, and evolve into my own vulnerability, and learn to really empathize with anothers pain, I let my own guard down, and be what others need me to be in the moment. This allows space for the person to then let their own guard down, and feel safe to practice being vulnerable. Now, if someone extends a hug, I openly receive this exchange knowing it is only an exchange of love and appreciation. I do not worry about boundaries, or rules not being followed. I use my inner knowing, while still keeping healthy boundaries.

We are all connected, but the sad thing is that at the same time, we are all so very disconnected.

Texting has taken the place of picking up the phone, and phone calls have taken the place of person to person contact, and person to person contact has been replaced by Facebook, and Skype. Much of this is just the reality for most of us, life gets busy, friends and family move away, so these other forms of communication are the only means to stay in contact. But my point here is that we have all lost our connection to one another. Looking into the eyes of another, really truly listening to them speak, laughing together, a hug to ease anothers pain- this is what it means to be human, and connect with one another.

Many of us were raised deprived of physical touch. We see it as weakness to be vulnerable and open.  We are uncomfortable with being transparent and giving and receiving physical touch. The only way out of this, is through it. Start showing the world the real, true authentic you! Hug even when it feels uncomfortable, reach out and touch someone- you never know what difference you will make by sharing your love with others. You may just turn someones day around!

I recently became aware of the work of Brene Brown, and am currently reading her book "The Gifts of Imperfection". Lastnight I watched her TEDX talks, which I loved, and they inspired this post!

4 points I took away from watching these videos are this:

Vulnerability is Courage!

1. Vulnerability is perceived by most of the world as weakness. But in fact, it is a sign of strength to be vulnerable. To be fearless in showing the wold the real you, and not feeling ashamed of who you are takes great inner strength and tremendous courage. A person that can be really open and vulnerable with another has done a lot of personal work to get there.

2. Shame & Guilt are 2 of the most toxic emotions. As Brene puts it "Shame is the swamp-land of the soul"

There is a direct link to feelings of shame and conditions and behaviors such as depression, anxiety, bullying, and eating disorders.

Shame says : "I am not good enough", "nothing I do is ever good enough",  "I will never measure up" "who do you think you are to be happy, successful, wealthy, healthy, to make good money doing what you love, to be beautiful?", "I am bad" "If others knew who I really am they would run for the hills"

Guilt says: "I shouldn't have", "I should have" "I wish I didn't.." "I did something bad"

The biggest distinction between Shame & Guilt:

Guilt: I did something bad
Shame: " I am bad"
See the difference?

3. Lean into the discomfort:
Being vulnerable, real and transparent  with others is not always comfortable. It is not always easy.  But the only way to build connection and love with others is to move through, and lean into the discomfort. Not run from it! It gets easier the more practice it.

4. Know that YOU are worthy of love, connection and belonging:

Post this affirmation around places you can read often:

I {insert your name} am worthy of love, connection and belonging. Everything I have to offer is more than enough. I am good enough just as I am. I love myself unconditionally.

Write this affirmation out 10x, everyday. Sit quietly and listen for the messages you receive when you affirm this to yourself. Is there resistance? Discomfort? Sadness? Sit with whatever is there, feel it, honor it. Allow these words to permeate your soul. They will become your reality, the more you repeat them through writing and saying them.

Wishing you lots of experiences to practice being vulnerable!

Please view my website for details of my upcoming workshop "Healing Depression from Within"

~Leanne
www.soulworkcounselling.com
250-319-3630

Making room for the new: 4 steps to energy clearing your home

We all know how good it feels to have our house cleaned top to bottom, and all visible dust and clutter removed from our space. And just as keeping our homes clean and clear of visible clutter is essential for the well being of all who live there, so to is clearing the energetic clutter, stagnation and negative, stuck energies that reside where we can not see. An argument with your spouse, family conflict, an illness or virus, or other stressful events carry energy that sticks around long after the event or illness does.

After I do a space clearing in my home, I always feel a remarkable positive shift in energy, and it feels amazing. I like to do a session at the change of the seasons, or after someone in our home has been ill, or any other stressful time that life throws our way. It feels so good to put attention and intention to renewing the energy in my home.

Having 3 children in the home, I have to admit, the clutter piles come out of nowhere, and it can seem as if the kids have taken over the entire house. So this is a constant work in progress. A continual purging of unwanted, and unused household stuff. Making time for this clearing of space and following up with an energy clearing session is such a powerful practice, it is worth the time and effort spent, trust me.

 I encourage you to do more reading, and research on the topic, as there is endless information on space clearing, and energy clearing out there. I will share with you the procedure I use to energy clear my home, but please make your ceremony and clearing session your own. Whatever feels right for you is perfect. There is no right and wrong way, and the most important thing is to put you full intention behind what you are doing.

 Get clear on what  you are working to accomplish.

Is it to allow more love to flow through and enter your home? To clear the air after family members have been sick? A need to move stagnant energy blocking you from moving forward? Marking a new beginning? To heal any conflicts happening within the home? Remember: Where intention goes, energy flows!

                                             A full moons is a perfect time to do a clearing.

To get you started here is a quick guide to help you :)

What you will need:
~A few hours of uninterrupted time (depending on the size of your home)
~Incense or sage smudge stick
~several candles
~lighter
~Energy clearing music, or meditation music that is meaningful to you.
~Pure essential oils (cinnamon is my favorite) you can use lemon, lavender, or peppermint- or whatever oils appeal to you. Mix in a spray bottle with water. Or alternatively, you could purchase an aromatherapy spray blend that you love, just be sure it is pure essential oils, not synthetic chemical fragrance! :)

Step 1: Prepare your space. Clean, clean clean! Remove all clutter, dust all surfaces, vacuum, mop floors. This is a time to do a deep, thorough cleaning of your home, de-clutterclosets, get rid of stuff you do not want or need (or pay someone else to come in and do it, which is even better!)

Step 2: Play your music of choice as you go about your clearing process. Open all windows and doors (if possible) to allow for a fresh flow of air to circulate. Doing a clearing on a windy day is especially affective!

Step 3: Light a candle in the room you are working in. Start in whichever room you feel drawn to first, and begin with a prayer, meditation or say your intention out loud. For example "Spirit, Divine, The powers that be, God (whichever resonates with you) please enter in this room, and fill it with the highest possible energy, and light. Bring love, peace, happiness, and vibrant health to all who dwell in this space. Let in the love and light. And so it is"

Step 4: Light your incense or sage, and start at the farthest corner of the room, going counter clockwise with the incense, clear the corners from top to bottom with the smoke, go around the entire room, taking extra care in the corners, behind furniture, and in closets as this is where energy becomes stagnant, and stuck.  Visualize white pure, clean, healing energy and light filling the room, and carry on with this burning phase until it feels complete to you. Spray your essential oil mist throughout the room before you leave. Leave the candle lit if you wish as you move about the house (as long is it is in a safe location.)

 Enjoy the new higher level of positive energy in your home, notice how your home feels different when you are done. Have fun with this! Get creative and make it your own ritual, however it is most meaningful to you.

With love and light,
~Leanne
Registered Professional Counsellor (R.P.C.c)
Wellness Leader, writer, energy healer, lifestyle coach

For your own personal, in home energy clearing session, contact me for more information!

www.soulworkcounselling.com
250-319-3630

Parenting, and letting go (even a little!) with love

As I said goodbye to my kids this morning, my daughters into grade 2 & 3, and my eldest heading into grade 11, I was reminded how quickly time seems to fly by, the older they get. Back to school time is always a little bittersweet for most parents, a mix of emotions as our children head off into a new school year, some sadness that the summer with them is over, yet relief to be getting back into a more predictable routine.

 

Being a full-time, stay-at- home Mom during my daughter's younger years, there were some days I was just plain exhausted, and thought the day would never end, and even at times, I wished away the time, thinking how nice it would be to have my freedom once they were in school. While I did my best to enjoy my time with them, and do not regret choosing them over a career, it was often not an easy job at all.

 

"The days are long, and the years are short"

(a wise friend once said...)

 

The realization hit me one day, that once they started school, they'd be amongst teachers and their peers, more than they'd be with me, and I remember feeling upset by this awareness. The belief that nobody could take care of them the way that I do made me panic a little, and I still have moments these fears creep back in. I was a very fearful, anxious parent when my kids were really young. I tried to control everything from how much they washed their hands, to how much sugar they ate, and never let them do anything that could possibly be dangerous. While I am still mindful of all of these things, I have loosened up and let go in many areas. I have come a long way! Another realization I have had:

 

 We only have a short window of time to have full influence over what our children do, what kids they play with, what they eat, or how they treated. Once they venture off into the school years, all we can do is hope that all that we instilled in them, will carry them through when they are not with us.

 

As our children grow, we go from worrying about  when to feed them solid food, to kids being mean or hurting their feelings, or making fun of their backpack, to worrying about them hanging with the wrong crowd, getting into trouble with drugs, alcohol, smoking, or having their hearts broken. Then comes letting them loose behind the wheel of a car (I am not ready to think about that part yet!)

 

 

So, what have I learned about letting go with love, with my 15 years of parenting experience?

 

For starters, we must learn to parent from LOVE rather than FEAR. I have realized that a lot of things I have done or not done as a parent, have been influenced by my fears. Fear of them getting hurt or injured, getting sick, or being emotionally damaged in some way. I look back on all the raw spots of my childhood and formative years, and want to protect my children from having to learn some painful life lessons the hard way, as we all have.

 

 I now know that I can only do what LOVE would have me do, and that is to love them fiercely and unconditionally. 

 

We must also strive to protect them, teach them (through our words, as well as our actions), be their safe place when the world lets them down or becomes too  much, and guide them as far as we can, within our power, TRUST and let the rest go.

 

This is the hardest job about being a parent. We are raising little human beings, to prepare them for the big world. We can not control what happens to them when they are not with us, or shelter them from experiencing pain and suffering. This is their journey to live out, we can influence the journey to some extent, but as any parent of a teen knows it is virtually impossible to control what they do when they are not with us. As it has been said...

 Trying to control a teenager is like

trying to nail Jello to a wall.

 

 

 

(This about sums it up!)

 

My son often says I worry too much, and I respond, "just wait until you have your own kids, and you will understand", and he replies "I know I will never worry like you Mom." And I smile, remembering how many times I had this same conversation with my Dad growing up, and sometimes, I find myself sounding exactly like him (when I too, swore I would never worry like him when I had kids.)

 

 

As you head into the new school year (or even if your kids are not yet in school), I hope that some of this has helped someone out there, learn to let go (even a little) with love.

 

Until next time, live well, and make everyday awesome!

 

~Leanne R.P.Cc

Wellness Leader 

www.soulworkcounselling.com

P: 250-319-3630

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Radical Self~Care: Prioritize yourself, because nobody else is going to!

 

 

 

 

 

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire

universe, deserve your love and affection."

-Buddha

 

 

 Perhaps it may seem a little harsh for me to assume that everyone in your life does not prioritize you, and put you first. If you are one of those lucky people, and you have someone or several others in your life, who put your needs before their own, then you are truly blessed! Express deep gratitude and appreciation for these people in your life often.

For most of us though, the reality is that nobody is going to force us to take time to care for ourselves. While our loved ones and others in our life may love us, and have the best intentions, they are not going to cook us healthy meals, drive us to the gym, push us out the door for a run, and plan a weekend getaway for us to have some solitude. Our parents are not likely going to step in and offer to take the kids so we can go have some time for ourselves, or a date night with our partner. Our partner is not likely to say "I'll take the kids for the day, go have a massage and pedicure, you deserve it", and our kids are not going to say, "Thank you Mommy, for all of your hard work, you deserve a break today!" You are responsible for taking good care of yourself. Most of the time, if we need something, we either need to ask somebody to assist us in making it happen, or we need to take responsibility for making it happen ourselves.


There may be times when the people in our lives do recognize all that we do, and want to help, or do something nice to acknowledge our efforts, however; from my experience, and what I have seen as a common thread among many women I work with, and some of my closest friends, time for themselves seems to be lacking. Many of us feel deprived of time to ourselves, doing what we love. We have to make ourselves a priority and honor, and value ourselves enough to make caring for our own health and well-being top priority- because if we wait for someone else to come long and do it for us, we may wait forever.

When we blame on others, or our circumstances for not having any time forourselves, we are giving our personal power away, which leaves us feeling powerless in our own lives.

Own your power, and reclaim your life- take total responsibility and ownership for your life, and wherever you may find yourself right now, and look for ways that you can begin infusing change and making yourself a priority.

 Caring for ourselves is not selfish, it is self-preservation, and

Self~love, is not selfish or arrogant. It is not saying you are better than anyone else, but that you value, and love and accept yourself for who you are, and demonstrate this by how you care for yourself, how you allow others to treat you, and how you treat others. 

 Self~ love, and self~care, are essential pieces to the wellness puzzle, and must become the foundation for all that we do, and choose not to do, in honor of caring for ourselves. For each individual this will be different, as we all have very unique needs, and are filled up in different ways.

 Here is an exercise that is fun, and creative to get you started. Write a self-care manifesto! This will be your foundation, and your grounding center, that will guide you in every decision, every choice and every action you take on a daily basis.

The way I look at it, is that I only have one shot at this life, my children only have one Mother, and I want to be the healthiest, best version of myself, so that I am healthy and vital to see them grow up. I picture myself being a youthful grandma, running around with my grand kids someday, and traveling with my husband once the kids are grown. I want to be self sufficient, and continue to live a life free of medical interventions and prescription drugs by caring for myself now, while I am young. So, to live out my vision, I must be in alignment with these desires and intentions, by practicing radical self-care NOW, and always, so that I am healthy and able to continue to live an awesome life, as I age.

My self~ care manifesto 

~I choose every single day, to always do my very best in each moment, to honor, love and cherish myself enough to put my needs first, for I know that if I do not fill myself up first, I will have nothing to give to those around me.

 

~If I am tired or feeling tense or stressed, I will stop what I am doing, and take a rest, or at least 5 minutes to breathe in silence.

 

~If I am hungry, I will eat. I will always strive to feed my body with love. If I veer off the path, and eat something that makes me feel guilty, or unhealthy- I will let it go,  forgive myself quickly, and get back on track with the next meal or snack.

 

~I will choose to focus on all that I am grateful for, because I know that when I do, I feel more joyful and happy.

 

~I will always take good care of my body, by listening to what it is trying to tell me, feeding it healthy foods, exercising it regularly, taking my vitamins and herbs, and drinking lots of water.

 

~I will stay tuned~in, listen , and trust my intuition as guidance in all that I do.

 

~If I need a break, I will ask a friend or my partner to take the kids so I can tend to my own needs, and relase any guilt I may feel about it.

 

~I will move my body in ways that feel good to me, and when I am tired or unwell, I will skip intense exercise, and walk or do some yoga instead.

 

~I spend time only with those people that lift my spirits higher, whom I trust fully, and who accept me fully for who I am.

 

~I will not say yes to a request, unless I am certain it is something I truly want to do, and will not say yes to avoid disappointing another, for I know that this will only lead to resentment toward the person I am saying yes to, and also know, that I am only betraying myself when I ignore my truth.

 

~I will speak up when I need to express what is going on within, and I release the attachment to how it is perceived or how the person responds, for I can only control my own actions and words, and know that how the other responds to my words, and actions is their Karma- not mine.

 

~I will set healthy boundaries with others, and make it clear what those boundaries are. (For example: I do not take client calls on the weekends, unless it is an emergency, or if someone speaks to me in  way that is offensive or doesn't feel right, I will let them know it is not OK with me to be spoken to in that way).

 

~If I am feeling emotional, and need to have a good old crying episode, even if I do not know what I am actually crying about, I will allow myself time to feel my feelings, for I know when I do, it will pass and clear much quicker, than if I carry on, ignore, and stuff my true feelings. 

 

~I will never put my needs on the button rung ever again.

 

 I love myself way too much to ever devalue my needs, ignore my inner voice, and treat my body in unloving ways. I have learned the hard way, what happens when I put myself last, and I choose not to go there ever again. I will revise and add to this manifesto as life carries on, and make my self top priority always, because I know I deserve it!

Have fun creating your own manifesto, frame it, hang it somewhere visible, and look at it often. Allow this to be your personal set of 'instructions for living'. Make it your own, and  think big! This is your  life, and you as much as anybody else deserve your own love and approval. You deserve happiness, and vital health! If you do not make yourself a priority, who else is going to do it for you?


Yours in health, and gratitude,

~Leanne Oaten, R.P.Cc
Holistic Counsellor, Wellness Leader
www.soulworkcounselling.com

How stressed out are you? Some tips to help you relax

 STRESS. We all have it, we can not always avoid it, but we can do a lot to manage it, by taking action, building self- awareness, and learning to create more balance in our lives.

Stress becomes toxic when it is chronic and ongoing. When the demands put upon us, 

outweigh the reserves we have available within us to effectively manage what is required of us.

 Most people are functioning with a high level of chronic stress, and the worst part is, they often aren't even aware that what they are experiencing in their lives through physical, emotional, and mental illness, is likely being caused by, or being made worse by chronic, out of control stress levels. For more on this read: Stress and your health

One of the first things we can do to begin to manage our stress levels, is to become more aware of our symptoms, mood, relationships, happiness and the state of our health.

Opening our minds to the truth that stress is toxic, and can make us sick, tired and  unhappy is the first place to begin.

Once we become more connected, and tuned~ in to our mind/body connection, from that place we can get curious about what is behind our pain, be it, emotional, physical, or mental symptoms.

For me, I know when I am feeling stressed, (along with a million thoughts, ideas, and to-do's racing around in my mind),  is that my breathing becomes shallow, I get tight in my chest, and my back between my shoulders begins to ache. I have also noticed, that it is only during certain times of the day (usually the end of the day) and when I am feeling overwhelmed, tired and in need of some quiet time. With this awareness, I now take 5 minutes- or more if I can- and lay down, do some deep breathing and reset. I can then return to whatever I was doing before, feeling more grounded, and peaceful. I have also learned, that practicing extreme self-care daily to stay balanced, is essential in managing my day to day stress levels.

Here is my 3 step plan for stress management:

1. Awareness. Get tuned in to your body's signals. Take note of what is happening for you. Do you get a headache on days you have too much to do? Does your back ache when your endless list of to-dos are running around in your mind? Do you get a stomach ache when you are in conflict with someone? Do you become "worried sick"? That figure of speech actually carries a lot of truth! We definitely can worry ourselves sick.

2. Turn on the relaxation response. As soon as you become aware of your triggers, and the way your body speaks to you, it is time to do something that turns on the relaxation response. Some suggestions for alternative treatments to stress are below, but simply removing yourself from the stressful situation, going somewhere quiet, and engaging in some breath work/relaxation techniques, and re- framing any thought patterns that are creating the stress response, are all that is needed in the moment.

3. Do a 'mind-dump'. Write down everything that is weighing on your mind, either in a journal, or a sheet of paper...let it just flow out onto the page, without analyzing or judging it. Swear if you must, write whatever comes to mind. Taking it out of your head, and putting it on paper is very therapeutic, and allows you to release some of the thoughts rattling around in your head. You will be amazed at how effective this is! If you have a way to safely burn the writing, this is a very powerful and therapeutic practice.

One last thought, if you are able to round out this 3 step plan with some exercise, this is a very powerful way to move stress through the body. Even if all you have time for is a 10 minute brisk paced walk. Adding a minimum of 30 minutes of physical movement into your day, most days of the week, is essential for health, and stress management.

Keep in mind, that keeping our tanks topped up takes diligence, self-awareness, and creating some time in your day, every day, to allow for relaxation, rejuvenation and pleasure. When our reserves are built up, by using some the techniques suggested, we are better able to manage the unexpected snags and rough patches that come our way. When we are busy, and life is throwing all kinds of stuff at us all at once, or we just have a period where a lot is happening in a short period of time,  this is definitely no time to neglect your self-care. In fact, it is the most important time to increase more relaxation, and pleasurable activities into your day, to offset the pressure, and overwhelm you may be experiencing.

Until next time, keep calm, and get your relaxation on!

Leanne Oaten

Holistic Counsellor & Soul Centered Life Coach

Visit  www.soulworkcounselling.com for more information and upcoming workshops and events.

For more reading, I found this informative article that goes more into depth about unhealthy stress.

http://humananatura.com/2012/02/15/living-without-unhealthy-stress/

The perfect "diet" for YOU

I got your attention with the title didn't I? What I am about to share with you though, is probably not what you were expecting. If you are reading this, I can safely guess that it is because- in one way or another- you are searching, and maybe have been for a long while, to find the "perfect diet" to improve your health, or lose weight.

I have been there. I used to have a different stack of fad diet and nutrition program books beside my bed at all times. I too, was searching for the "perfect diet" the "perfect plan" to help me find the answers to my health issues, and lose extra weight- but now, looking back, I can say that none of these books or "experts" were able to give me this perfect plan, because nobody knows my body the way that I do!

Personal growth, and books written about getting healthy are invaluable. I am always reading something, and have a thirst for learning and expanding my awareness. If I am working on some area of my own personal development, or want to understand something better, I will find a book on that subject to offer me some new insights. If you are looking to improve in some area of your life, books are one way to help you broaden your knowledge, and understanding. But one thing I would like to share with you that I believe has been an important lesson for me:

I have learned to take the information that resonates with me and makes sense with where I intend to go, and discard the rest. No matter who says it, it has to be in alignment with what I believe to be true.

So, with that said, there is one exception that I believe we must keep in mind when reading and Googling to find answers:

No matter what you hear or what you read, even from the so called "experts", nobody can tell you what is the right way-for you to eat. We are all winging it. Only YOU are the expert of your own body!

I believe that avoiding too much processed, fake foods, animal foods, sugar, and refined white flours is a good place to begin. Making sure to avoid toxic fats, and including healthful ones like virgin coconut oil, olive, flax, hemp oils are also important.

While I can not call myself a "Vegan", I feel best on a mostly vegan diet, with the exception of a little free range chicken or wild salmon 1-2 times per week. I don't eat eggs, or dairy products, and am continually working to reduce processed, refined foods in my diet, however; I also believe to avoid these things exclusively takes a lot of joy out of eating and living. How many parties or gatherings I have been to where there was nothing I could eat, and had to bring my own food. That is no fun at all!

I love to follow Kris Carr, she is a Vegan and emphasizes the importance of a diet focused mostly on plants, and raw fruits and veggies, but her approach leaves some room for flexibility, and a reasonable amount of convenience foods like soba noodles, rice crackers, and vegan protein powder and plant milk substitutes.

As I said though, this is what feels best for my body, and my beliefs are my own. I have always been drawn to more vegetarian/animal free foods, and it just happens I feel my best when I eat this way. Some people will say they absolutely can not imagine a life without cheese or meat everyday. And if that is working for you, then why mess with what is working?

Strive to learn, continue to grow, refine and change what you are eating, have fun with trying new foods or trying new recipes- because as it has been said, "You are what you eat", so it goes without saying, eat well to live well. But for me, trying to follow an extremely restrictive eating style does not work. I do know that when I eat crappy foods, I feel...well...crappy. So, I avoid eating foods that make me feel awful for the simple reason I love to feel good, and I love myself enough to fuel my body with good food, that makes me feel at my best. I encourage you to continue to refine and play around with your eating style until you find the "perfect diet" for you!

I welcome your comments below, feel free to share your experiences with what is working well for you!

Live well,

Leanne Oaten
Holistic Counsellor, R.P.Cc, Wellness Leader
www.soulworkcounselling.com