Since my teen years, I have struggled with disordered eating, and unhealthy eating patterns. There was a time when I held a lot of shame around this area of my life, and would never have imagined myself sharing, and writing about it as openly as I am able to today. Although I still have times where I find myself pulled into some of those old patterns, I am able to redirect myself to a healthy, more balanced state. When I become aware of myself behaving in unloving ways toward my body (by stuffing my mouth full of cookies, or chocolate chips for example) I instead deal with how I am feeling in that moment, and turn to something more self-loving toward my body.
Today, I can reflect on how far I have come, the lessons I have learned, and how determined I have been to heal this area of my life. I now have the privilege and honor of doing the sacred, meaningful work in serving others with their struggles in an authentic way, because I know the pain and suffering living with this inner struggle can cause.
I have worked with many women that have suffered a great deal around their painful relationship with food, and I have come to realize that disordered eating patterns are not uncommon at all, but because there is so much secrecy, shame and embarrassment around these behaviors, we don't want to openly disclose our 'behind closed doors' eating habits to others. Unfortunately this isolation, and secrecy only makes the problem worse, because healing these issues is near impossible to do without guidance and support from someone who is qualified to deal with this complex and delicate issue.
*Let me clarify, that while a medically diagnosed eating disorder (such as bulimia, binging/purging and severe food restriction know as anorexia) can be fatal,-and adequate professional intervention and possibly medical treatment is essential- the disordered eating I am speaking of here is emotional eating.
One common pattern with emotional/binge eating, and one that makes this behavior so unhealthy, is that person in the throws of whatever emotion they find themselves in, uses food as their 'drug', as a way to cope with or numb their uncomfortable feelings. After an episode of overeating to the point of feeling sick, some might vow to restrict their food intake for the rest of the day, or into the next day, or even longer, to counteract the guilt and shame they feel for their perceived lack of self- control. This is the pattern I found myself in for many years, and because I was a 'health junkie' I tricked myself into thinking I was doing really well. But the truth that I wasn't willing to see, was that unconsciously inhaling 10 organic, homemade spelt flour cookies, or almost an entire organic dark chocolate bar is not healthy behavior, and no amount of organic veggies or green smoothies will erase the damage this behavior was doing to my body and soul.
The bottom line is that food is certainly meant to be pleasurable and enjoyed, however, it's main purpose is to sustain our energy and provide nourishment in order to keep us alive. If you often find yourself eating outside of meal times, aside from reasonable snacking, or eating way past the point of being full- you are very likely feeding your feelings.
So why do we eat when we aren't actually hungry?
There are many other reasons for emotional eating, but the most common reason...
We feed our uncomfortable feelings to numb out. Anyone who has overdone it on the sugar, knows about that little high that comes shortly after that first few bites of chocolate cake, or after downing a few chocolate chip cookies..(or whatever it is that does it for you.) A tip off that you are stress eating, or feeding your emotions is that you are doing it almost unconsciously. It is mindless eating, and one is usually not even aware of what they are doing-at the time- until afterwards when the cookie jar is empty.
When you find yourself reaching for food between meal/snack times, check in to see if you are truly hungry first. if you are not actually hungry, ask yourself: "What am I feeling right now?", and "What am I truly hungry for?" becoming aware of the habitual reaching for food is the first step to changing it! Are you bored, sad, lonely, depressed, anxious, worried, stressed out, and feeling out of balance?
Maybe you need a nap? To have a difficult conversation with someone that you are avoiding? A walk or run or do some yoga? A talk with someone you trust? A hug? Maybe just a cup of tea and a magazine? The idea is to fill yourself up with other activities instead of food.
In order to truly heal this imbalance, and the dis~ease within, we must look at the root cause. The root cause of any addictive and self-harming behavior is lack of self~love! When you love yourself, and honor your body for the miracle that it is, these unhealthy behaviors fall away organically.
If you are trying to lose weight, and have been for a very long time, check to see if emotional eating may be playing a part in your struggles. Weight loss plans, and fad 'diets' will do very little to help with sustainable weight loss, unless the approach is in treating the root cause, and healing it from a holistic approach, caring for our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual selves.
If you are struggling with loving yourself, and want to stop feeding your feelings, I can help you on your journey toward a more self~loving, self~honoring place. You can visit my my website to get my free Women's Guide to Vibrant Health.
You can also join my private Facebook women's health community by requesting to be added right here ===> Women's Holistic Health Communitys
E: info@leanneoaten.com
In health and balance,
Leanne Oaten
Registered Holistic Counsellor
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