My suggsted reading list for creating an awesome life

Just a few of the books I own ;)

I love books, and always have..however; novels are not my thing. I will admit, I got sucked into the 50 Shades series (because a friend insisted I take a break from all of my psychology studying when I was in school), and I gave in, to appease her. While I did end up enjoying the read  (and the diversion), I get the most satisfaction out of reading books that inspire me, teach me new ways of seeing the world, and offer new ideas when I am feeling stuck in certain areas of my life. So, if you are strictly a novel reader (and hate self-help/personal growth books) this list may not be for you.

 Because I am often asked what books I recommend on various topics related to health/wellness and personal growth, and recently had a follower request my favorites, I have decided to create a running list of my favorites, which I will add to as I discover new ones.


Health/Wellness/Weight Loss:

"Full-Filled" and the Renee Method was a life changer for me. I use some of her methods in my emotional eating workshops, and with clients experiencing issues around food/weight loss.
Her website: http://www.reneemethod.com/fulfilled/about-renee/

"Ultra Metabolism" by Dr. Mark Hyman (or any of his books) they are invaluable to have as a go-to health resource, and are full of so much info about cleaning up your diet and getting healthy from the inside out. I love his holistic approach because it is about life style changes, not quick-fix fad diets. Again, another life changing book!

"Adrenal Fatigue-The 21st Century Stress Syndrome" by Dr. J Wilson
A must read if you are always tired, sick and stressed out, or already know you have adrenal burnout.

"Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom" by Christiane Northrup M.D
Every single woman should have a copy of this and refer to it as a often as possible. It is in my opinion, a women's holistic health bible and it is truly amazing. I encourage all women to research and seek out anything she has written, as her work is ongoing.

"Green Housekeeping" A bible on detoxifying your home and life.

"Natural Baby & Childcare" Full of remedies and advice on raising children the natural way. I still refer to this book as my children grow. When they are sick, I use the homeopathic guide included here.

Personal development/Self-love & Healing

Anything written by Louise Hay & Cheryl Richardson. They are amazing, and their books will stir your soul! If I could choose just one from each author it would be: "The Art of Extreme Self-Care" by Cheryl, and "You can Heal Your Life" by Louise.

"The Power of Intention" by Wayne Dyer
An intense, heavier read, but invaluable reference for getting serious about manifesting your desires through your power of intention.

"Living with Joy" by Sanaya Roman
This is a beautifully written book and lives up to it's title. Lots of good stuff about living with more joy!

"The Gifts of Imperfection" & "Daring Greatly" by Brene Brown. (Reading these right now, it will change the way you look at yourself, and those around you!)

Parenting

"Parenting from the Inside Out" by Siegel Hartzell
A beautiful book for parents of children from conception- teen years, it is timeless advice, but not for the faint at heart. This book requires you to go deep within!

Spiritual Growth (Soul-work)
*Many of the books I have suggested have spiritual components but here are some of my favorite authors of spirit-growth.

"Spirit Junkie" by Gabrielle Bernstein
"Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser

Anything by Marianne Williamson


Mind/Body Healing

*These books cover our emotions and how they are often connected to our physical condition and symptoms. There are too many books on this to count, but these are my 3 go-to books that I am always referring to.

"You can Heal you Life" by Louise Hay
"Your Body Speaks you Mind" by Deb Shapiro
" Mind Over Medicine" by Lissa Rankin

 I will continue to add more as they come to me. Now head to the book store, or library and find the one that is calling for you to read first!

Happy reading :)

~Leanne
www.soulworkcounselling.com

Tips for a healthy and happy Halloween (but you can use all year round)

As a parent, I have always done my best to feed my kids a whole foods, natural organic diet. From the moment they began eating solid foods, I was in the kitchen pureeing organic fruits and veggies because I wanted to give them the best start that I possibly could. It was so important to me, that I made it my mission to seek out the healthiest options available, and continue to expand on my knowledge and tools as I know more.

Growing up, my Dad was really stingy with allowing us to have sugar. We never had junk food in our house, and the only time we would have pop would be if we were at someone elses house, and back then, you can believe I thought he was really lame!
 I do also see now that he was a little overboard, but as an adult with children of my own,  I am so very grateful that my Dad instilled this in me at such a young age. To this day, I am not a candy person, and I will never drink pop or sugary drinks because I have no desire to put that in my body.

So now, I carry on the legacy with my children, and I choose to limit these things from their diet as much as possible, while still allowing for some flexibility. My desire to teach them and guide them in this way, now comes from pure love, where in the past it came more from a fear place. 

As parents it is our duty, our responsibility, to teach our children about healthy eating, and why it is so important. Part of this teaching, actually most of it, comes from the example we set for them. We need to teach them to love themselves enough to put healthy foods into their bodies. Teach them this life- lesson early! It's not about restriction, it's about self-love. It is never too early to begin teaching these concepts to our children.

Childhood obesity is rampant in our society, (as are eating disorders) and this is just so very sad to me because something can be done to prevent this. It begins by teaching our children about self-love.

This is a subject I am very passionate about, and is what drives me to always do my very best to teach my children by teaching them about healthy eating, as well as modeling this in the way that I choose to take care of my body. "When we love ourselves, we take good care of our bodies" is the message.

I read somewhere that child absentees in schools skyrockets right after Halloween. I have seen this happen every year in our schools, and if my kids have overindulged in sugar on Halloween or other special occasions, they often succumb to some virus that going around. While children do get sick and we can't always avoid this, we can reduce the number of illnesses, or at least the severity and duration of the virus simply by reducing sugar and sugar loaded processes foods (a.k.a. dead foods) in our children's diets. Keep this in mind: Sugar depresses immune function. Our immune system is compromised for 3-4 hours after consuming sugar, so we want to reduce the amount of times in a day we depress our immune system, if we want to stay healthy!

Here are my tips for keeping kids healthier during candy season- and all year round:

1) For trick-or-treating, make the evening special in other ways. Buy some dollar store items and give them goodie bags with trinkets, glow sticks, stickers etc. Make the evening about more than just candy. Then go out for a pre-decided amount of time, and stop when the time is up. I give my kids a very small treat bag for collecting- not a pillowcase I have seen some kids fill up! I don't want candy hanging around until the New Year!

2) Before heading out, make sure the kids get a nutritious, protein packed, whole food meal. This will help prevent the blood sugar spike that comes from eating sugar. And they will be so full from dinner, they won't have much room for candy...hopefully anyways ;)

3) A tip my naturopath gave me, which seems so simple, I can't believe I didn't think of it, is to set the limit with the kids, that they can have one sugar per day. This takes away the "if I can't have it I want it even more" mentality, but doesn't overload the child's system too much at one time.

4)  Protein before sugar. As above, it slows down the affect of the sugar in their system. If my kids are going to eat sugar, I make them eat protein first..this also reduces the sugar crash that often comes 1-2 hours later as the blood sugar plummets. I am sure we have all experienced a cranky child after they come down from a sugar high! Not fun.

5) Be flexible, but firm. Being too rigid just makes kids want what we say they can't have even more. So, allow them to be kids and have treats, but also set the limit, and step in when they have had enough.

The truth is, we must teach our children the difference between having a treat, and overindulgence, so that when they are adults, they can better discern what foods make them feel good, and which ones make them feel gross. They must learn for themselves, "when I eat too much junk I feel sick" so they can make decisions when they are not with us, about what to put in their bodies, and how much.

I still remember so clearly, my youngest was at a Ruckers Birthday party last year, I picked her up and could tell immediately she was not feeling well. She almost looked green.  As we went out to the car she was saying how she "felt like to puke" and that her tummy was hurting, she fussed and cried the whole way home. She had a slushy pop drink, cake, pizza and candy all within the short time she was there. No wonder she felt sick. Both of my girls have had this experience, and I trust they now have the tools to discern for themselves when they are not with me, weather or not to eat cake or not have pop, because they don't want to feel sick.

As adults we are still learning this one, so it is a constant learning and discerning. "How will I feel if I eat that?" This is a good question to teach our children to learn to ask themselves, and some invaluable life lessons that will serve them their whole lifetime.

Have a fun, safe, healthy and happy Halloween!

~Leanne
www.soulworkcounselling.com

The little lies we tell ourselves, and fear of authenticity

"Out of 100 lies we speak only 10 lies we speak outside, the other 90 we are speaking to ourselves, about ourselves. ..the wise words of Madhuji Sri, one of my spiritual mentors, as he taught this lesson recently to our Healing Beings team, about living in truth. I found this statement so profound, it has stuck with me ever since I heard those words. I have been contemplating what this means in my life, and have been really reflecting on how I am doing so far, in my desire to live a life of truth, with myself, and the world.

Give this some thought...how honest are you being with YOU about your life, and what you want? How happy you really are with your life? The state of your marriage? The state of your health? How many times a day do you tell yourself little and big lies, to avoid having to deal with the truth because the truth seems so impossible, to difficult to live by? Or, perhaps because there is underlying shame or guilt that is way too uncomfortable to feel when we acknowledge our truth, so we lie to avoid it.

If you were to really, truly look at the truth, and be honest with yourself, what would that mean for you or others in your life if you started getting ruthlessly real? What would need to change?

We could continue for the duration of our lives, lying to ourselves, and nobody would likely ever know. Nobody that is, accept ourselves. We know, our soul knows, our body knows. The lies we tell ourselves, have an affect on our mental, physical, and emotional health, and well-being, because we are always at war within. We are suppressing, and distracting, and avoiding the truth about how we really feel, which puts the body in a constant state of stress. We are terrified of showing the world our true nature, our true selves.

 

Lies we tell ourselves, and others......

 

"My marriage/family is wonderful", "every thing's great!" "I am not good enough", " I love being a  stay-at-home mom!", "being a parent is so easy!", "I can't do it", "I am stupid", "I don't deserve that", "I am a failure", "I am happy", "my life is amazing", "everything is perfect", "I love my job", "work is great", "I have nothing to be unhappy about", these are some of the lies we tell ourselves, and others. Why do we do this? We do this because to actually look at the state of our crumbling marriage, dysfunctional family, the job that is sucking our soul, the fact that we are depressed and not functioning well, are overweight or our physical health is failing, or are not as happy being a parent as we thought we would be, are all very painful, and uncomfortable parts of ourselves to get real about, never mind admit to somebody else!

I remember a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago when our children were really little,  about being a stay-at-home mom. We were (sort of but not really) joking around about counting down the minutes until we could have a glass (or two) of wine at the end of each day just to unwind our frazzled nerves . We talked about how painfully difficult some of those long days were, feeling trapped in the house with a colicky baby or sick and tired children, all while being extremely sleep deprived and burned out, were some of the most difficult days we had ever had. We wondered what was wrong with us, and how some parents just seem to have it all figured out, have it all together, with perfectly dressed kids, a perfectly clean house, all while working a full time job, among many other things, all done with a smile on their face, seemingly as if having children didn't affect how they lived their lives at all.

I feel safe in saying that many parents feel too afraid to have this kind of conversation with others, about the realities of parenting. We don't want to come across like we don't love our children with our whole hearts, or to be perceived as a 'bad parent'. So, instead we exhaust ourselves trying to keep up appearances that all is perfectly wonderful, when in reality, we are just barely keeping it all together. I know this, because I was one of those Moms, and I felt like such a failure for so many years, because I could barely keep up with my responsibilities. But now that I can get real about what parenting young kids was (and sometimes still is) like for me, others open up to me, and hopefully feel assured that they are not alone, and are not bad Moms for feeling this way.

As parents, we must have a deep appreciation and gratitude for every single day we have with our children. They truly are a gift and a blessing, and we wouldn't trade having them for anything in the world.  But the truth is, being real about how difficult it can be, or how some days we wish we could run away for awhile, and be all alone somewhere really, really quiet, and just have a break from the world and our responsibilities, does not make us a bad parent- it makes us human!

So, I invite you to ask yourself what needs to change in your life. What do you need to get real with yourself and others about? What masks and cover-ups do you wear around certain people, but not others? Do you change these 'masks' to fit the image you are trying so hard to portray to certain people? And if so, what fear is behind those masks? What are you terrified that others will know about you?

Part of healing, growing and evolving, is getting real.

Getting real with self, and with others, and speaking the truth about ourselves, to ourselves.

It is so sad to really consider, that most of us, if not the entire human race, has some form of self-rejection going on in their lives, or at least has had some past experience with it.

Rejection of self, is basically self- hatred, and self- loathing. It is feeling that something within us is so damaged, flawed, wrong, broken and bad, that we feel we have to lie, fake, and cover up who we truly are, and how we truly feel, because we are terrified that if others knew the truth, they would run for the hills.

The truth is though, we are our own worst critic. We judge the shit out of ourselves, and continually abuse ourselves with our brutal self talk, and distorted self-perceptions.

What is the point of living, if not living in truth, and authenticity? If we are not living authentically, are we truly living? Why do we sell ourselves out? Sell ourselves short? Think so little of who we are, that we feel we have to cover up our true nature?

 Why not get real, and start saying what we want to say, doing more of what we truly want to do, and get really brutally honest with ourselves, and start living a life of truth?

Here's an exercise to get you started: Get quiet, without interruption, and sit with the question "in what ways, and with whom am I being dishonest?" "what masks do I wear, and with whom?", "in what ways am I not being real, and authentic with myself, and the world?"... and just sit and listen for the answers. If you sit and are quiet for long enough, answers will come to you.

 Awareness is the first step to any growth or change, after that, comes the acceptance and forgiveness (of self) and release of self-judgment, and shame. Just accept and forgive yourself for these lies. You are not a bad person. Now that you know better, you can do better. Love yourself, have compassion for yourself, and for why you felt the need to be dishonest with yourself (or others.)

The next step would be to ACT. Take action to right these lies. If there is an action to take, what might that be?  Whatever you feel is right to do, act on that intuition.

Living a life of truth is so much easier, and so much more fulfilling and beautiful, then trying to make up who you actually are. Being truthful allows life to flow more with ease. So start becoming more aware of those little lies you whisper to yourself, and the un-truths you tell others, and shine light on your truth, and authentic self.

~Leanne
www.soulworkcounselling.com

Finding your strength through vulnerability

Being a personal expansion and growth seeker, I absolutely adore, and devour everything written or spoken by brilliant authors and inspirational people, and have since the age of 15. It always seems that right when I am ready to tackle another layer of my growth and healing, the right people show up, and the perfect books fall into my hands, almost effortlessly. It has always been like this for me.


The work that I do, is an extension of who I am, and what I am passionate about. Helping people through their time of suffering, assisting them in their own healing, and hopefully inspiring others through my writing, talks, workshops, and service to the community, is why I do what I do. I aspire to be one of those inspiration people, that I have for so long sought after, to help guide me through the dark and ugly places I have been in my life.

While I have attained the education required, to be a "professional counsellor" I also know that my power to inspire, teach and lead, is not so much in the academics and certifications I have received, but in the leading by example for others to see. Being the model for growth, by doing the work, reading, learning, healing myself first, so I can then help others do the same. It is finding my own way to coach and counsel clients, that are at times, outside of the box.

 As registered counsellors, we have a very clear set of rules we must follow in our"code of ethics", and we agree to follow these ethics for the protection of ourselves, as well as our clients. Many of the ethical standards we follow are sound, and make sense to keep healthy boundaries with clients, and we model this behavior to teach our clients what personal boundaries look like.

While I agree there needs to be certain guidelines in place when we are doing such delicate work, serving people sometimes when they are at their most vulnerable and broken state, we also need to listen to our intuition. Asking, "what does this person most need to hear right now?" At times, we must break the rule of "not sharing any personal stories or information with a client." This person may need to be assured they are not alone in their struggles, that there is hope, and we are ALL perfectly imperfect, winging it in this life! Counsellors are human beings too, we have struggles, pain and suffering just like everyone else. The truth is, we also need to see a counsellor from time to time, to continually work through our own processes.

There is no shame in reaching out for help. Asking for, and reaching out for support and help is a sign of strength. It takes courage to face your own demons. Your own ego, your own shit.

One of the agreements of our "code of ethics" is "no physical contact" with a client. A hand on the knee of someone crying, or a hug could be taken the wrong way, or may offend the client. At first, when I was in my training, I was all about boundaries, and drawing lines in the sand, so this made sense to me. But as I grow, and evolve into my own vulnerability, and learn to really empathize with anothers pain, I let my own guard down, and be what others need me to be in the moment. This allows space for the person to then let their own guard down, and feel safe to practice being vulnerable. Now, if someone extends a hug, I openly receive this exchange knowing it is only an exchange of love and appreciation. I do not worry about boundaries, or rules not being followed. I use my inner knowing, while still keeping healthy boundaries.

We are all connected, but the sad thing is that at the same time, we are all so very disconnected.

Texting has taken the place of picking up the phone, and phone calls have taken the place of person to person contact, and person to person contact has been replaced by Facebook, and Skype. Much of this is just the reality for most of us, life gets busy, friends and family move away, so these other forms of communication are the only means to stay in contact. But my point here is that we have all lost our connection to one another. Looking into the eyes of another, really truly listening to them speak, laughing together, a hug to ease anothers pain- this is what it means to be human, and connect with one another.

Many of us were raised deprived of physical touch. We see it as weakness to be vulnerable and open.  We are uncomfortable with being transparent and giving and receiving physical touch. The only way out of this, is through it. Start showing the world the real, true authentic you! Hug even when it feels uncomfortable, reach out and touch someone- you never know what difference you will make by sharing your love with others. You may just turn someones day around!

I recently became aware of the work of Brene Brown, and am currently reading her book "The Gifts of Imperfection". Lastnight I watched her TEDX talks, which I loved, and they inspired this post!

4 points I took away from watching these videos are this:

Vulnerability is Courage!

1. Vulnerability is perceived by most of the world as weakness. But in fact, it is a sign of strength to be vulnerable. To be fearless in showing the wold the real you, and not feeling ashamed of who you are takes great inner strength and tremendous courage. A person that can be really open and vulnerable with another has done a lot of personal work to get there.

2. Shame & Guilt are 2 of the most toxic emotions. As Brene puts it "Shame is the swamp-land of the soul"

There is a direct link to feelings of shame and conditions and behaviors such as depression, anxiety, bullying, and eating disorders.

Shame says : "I am not good enough", "nothing I do is ever good enough",  "I will never measure up" "who do you think you are to be happy, successful, wealthy, healthy, to make good money doing what you love, to be beautiful?", "I am bad" "If others knew who I really am they would run for the hills"

Guilt says: "I shouldn't have", "I should have" "I wish I didn't.." "I did something bad"

The biggest distinction between Shame & Guilt:

Guilt: I did something bad
Shame: " I am bad"
See the difference?

3. Lean into the discomfort:
Being vulnerable, real and transparent  with others is not always comfortable. It is not always easy.  But the only way to build connection and love with others is to move through, and lean into the discomfort. Not run from it! It gets easier the more practice it.

4. Know that YOU are worthy of love, connection and belonging:

Post this affirmation around places you can read often:

I {insert your name} am worthy of love, connection and belonging. Everything I have to offer is more than enough. I am good enough just as I am. I love myself unconditionally.

Write this affirmation out 10x, everyday. Sit quietly and listen for the messages you receive when you affirm this to yourself. Is there resistance? Discomfort? Sadness? Sit with whatever is there, feel it, honor it. Allow these words to permeate your soul. They will become your reality, the more you repeat them through writing and saying them.

Wishing you lots of experiences to practice being vulnerable!

Please view my website for details of my upcoming workshop "Healing Depression from Within"

~Leanne
www.soulworkcounselling.com
250-319-3630