Radical Self~Care: Prioritize yourself, because nobody else is going to!

 

 

 

 

 

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire

universe, deserve your love and affection."

-Buddha

 

 

 Perhaps it may seem a little harsh for me to assume that everyone in your life does not prioritize you, and put you first. If you are one of those lucky people, and you have someone or several others in your life, who put your needs before their own, then you are truly blessed! Express deep gratitude and appreciation for these people in your life often.

For most of us though, the reality is that nobody is going to force us to take time to care for ourselves. While our loved ones and others in our life may love us, and have the best intentions, they are not going to cook us healthy meals, drive us to the gym, push us out the door for a run, and plan a weekend getaway for us to have some solitude. Our parents are not likely going to step in and offer to take the kids so we can go have some time for ourselves, or a date night with our partner. Our partner is not likely to say "I'll take the kids for the day, go have a massage and pedicure, you deserve it", and our kids are not going to say, "Thank you Mommy, for all of your hard work, you deserve a break today!" You are responsible for taking good care of yourself. Most of the time, if we need something, we either need to ask somebody to assist us in making it happen, or we need to take responsibility for making it happen ourselves.


There may be times when the people in our lives do recognize all that we do, and want to help, or do something nice to acknowledge our efforts, however; from my experience, and what I have seen as a common thread among many women I work with, and some of my closest friends, time for themselves seems to be lacking. Many of us feel deprived of time to ourselves, doing what we love. We have to make ourselves a priority and honor, and value ourselves enough to make caring for our own health and well-being top priority- because if we wait for someone else to come long and do it for us, we may wait forever.

When we blame on others, or our circumstances for not having any time forourselves, we are giving our personal power away, which leaves us feeling powerless in our own lives.

Own your power, and reclaim your life- take total responsibility and ownership for your life, and wherever you may find yourself right now, and look for ways that you can begin infusing change and making yourself a priority.

 Caring for ourselves is not selfish, it is self-preservation, and

Self~love, is not selfish or arrogant. It is not saying you are better than anyone else, but that you value, and love and accept yourself for who you are, and demonstrate this by how you care for yourself, how you allow others to treat you, and how you treat others. 

 Self~ love, and self~care, are essential pieces to the wellness puzzle, and must become the foundation for all that we do, and choose not to do, in honor of caring for ourselves. For each individual this will be different, as we all have very unique needs, and are filled up in different ways.

 Here is an exercise that is fun, and creative to get you started. Write a self-care manifesto! This will be your foundation, and your grounding center, that will guide you in every decision, every choice and every action you take on a daily basis.

The way I look at it, is that I only have one shot at this life, my children only have one Mother, and I want to be the healthiest, best version of myself, so that I am healthy and vital to see them grow up. I picture myself being a youthful grandma, running around with my grand kids someday, and traveling with my husband once the kids are grown. I want to be self sufficient, and continue to live a life free of medical interventions and prescription drugs by caring for myself now, while I am young. So, to live out my vision, I must be in alignment with these desires and intentions, by practicing radical self-care NOW, and always, so that I am healthy and able to continue to live an awesome life, as I age.

My self~ care manifesto 

~I choose every single day, to always do my very best in each moment, to honor, love and cherish myself enough to put my needs first, for I know that if I do not fill myself up first, I will have nothing to give to those around me.

 

~If I am tired or feeling tense or stressed, I will stop what I am doing, and take a rest, or at least 5 minutes to breathe in silence.

 

~If I am hungry, I will eat. I will always strive to feed my body with love. If I veer off the path, and eat something that makes me feel guilty, or unhealthy- I will let it go,  forgive myself quickly, and get back on track with the next meal or snack.

 

~I will choose to focus on all that I am grateful for, because I know that when I do, I feel more joyful and happy.

 

~I will always take good care of my body, by listening to what it is trying to tell me, feeding it healthy foods, exercising it regularly, taking my vitamins and herbs, and drinking lots of water.

 

~I will stay tuned~in, listen , and trust my intuition as guidance in all that I do.

 

~If I need a break, I will ask a friend or my partner to take the kids so I can tend to my own needs, and relase any guilt I may feel about it.

 

~I will move my body in ways that feel good to me, and when I am tired or unwell, I will skip intense exercise, and walk or do some yoga instead.

 

~I spend time only with those people that lift my spirits higher, whom I trust fully, and who accept me fully for who I am.

 

~I will not say yes to a request, unless I am certain it is something I truly want to do, and will not say yes to avoid disappointing another, for I know that this will only lead to resentment toward the person I am saying yes to, and also know, that I am only betraying myself when I ignore my truth.

 

~I will speak up when I need to express what is going on within, and I release the attachment to how it is perceived or how the person responds, for I can only control my own actions and words, and know that how the other responds to my words, and actions is their Karma- not mine.

 

~I will set healthy boundaries with others, and make it clear what those boundaries are. (For example: I do not take client calls on the weekends, unless it is an emergency, or if someone speaks to me in  way that is offensive or doesn't feel right, I will let them know it is not OK with me to be spoken to in that way).

 

~If I am feeling emotional, and need to have a good old crying episode, even if I do not know what I am actually crying about, I will allow myself time to feel my feelings, for I know when I do, it will pass and clear much quicker, than if I carry on, ignore, and stuff my true feelings. 

 

~I will never put my needs on the button rung ever again.

 

 I love myself way too much to ever devalue my needs, ignore my inner voice, and treat my body in unloving ways. I have learned the hard way, what happens when I put myself last, and I choose not to go there ever again. I will revise and add to this manifesto as life carries on, and make my self top priority always, because I know I deserve it!

Have fun creating your own manifesto, frame it, hang it somewhere visible, and look at it often. Allow this to be your personal set of 'instructions for living'. Make it your own, and  think big! This is your  life, and you as much as anybody else deserve your own love and approval. You deserve happiness, and vital health! If you do not make yourself a priority, who else is going to do it for you?


Yours in health, and gratitude,

~Leanne Oaten, R.P.Cc
Holistic Counsellor, Wellness Leader
www.soulworkcounselling.com