Why some people give up and others keep on, keeping on~ even when they don't feel like it!

Sometimes I get asked some really juicy questions by my amazingly insightful clients, that make me go hmmm....and this was one of those questions! I had a short answer that was still being processed in my own mind, and answered it the best I could in the moment, but after reflecting on it, came to my own conclusion.

 Q: "What makes one person give up and stop trying, and another person keep trying no matter what setbacks or obstacles get in the way?" 

 I have pondered this question many, many times myself. My conclusion is this:

They don't allow their feelings in the moment

 to dictate their actions.

For example lets say someone has a goal to get healthy and lose unhealthy body weight that it contributing to serious health problems, but hes little energy and no motivation to exercise.

If a person waits for motivation to do something (let's use exercise for an example) he will likely skip many workouts if he waits for the motivation to come in order to feel like going for a run. Using "I don't feel like it" as an excuse to stay in bed, or on the couch in front of the t.v, is not going to move this person toward his goal. This person is allowing his momentary feeling of fatigue or lack of motivation to determine his actions (not going for the run)

That would be an example of a person giving in to his momentary feelings of not feeling like it, and in affect, does not make the healthiest choice to get up and get moving- despite feelings of low energy and motivation.

So, what can be done to change this scenario?

If a person on a particular day doesn't feel like exercising- but knows (from past experience) that doing so will feel great afterwards and uses THAT as their motivation- they are not allowing their current feelings to dictate their actions...they know that waiting for the feeling of motivation to come is not a way to create lasting changes.

Sometimes the feeling, or motivation never comes. It is in the ACTION that true change occurs. "I don't feel like exercising today, but I know how I feel when I am done, and I like that feeling" motivates. This person has a reference point:
Exercise=feeling good, having a positive outlook, feeling energized
Not exercising= feeling depressed, cranky, tired

My point is that waiting for the motivation to come in order to make positive changes does not usually work. We have to take action (whatever it is) whether we feel like it or not, then the memory or association we have, of how great we feel afterwards will become our motivation to continue.

Need some assistance with getting healthy? I can help!

Call me to book a free introductory session today

Leanne Oaten~ Holistic Counsellor
250-319-3630
soulworkcounselling.com