I believe many of us struggle in finding authentic and real, lasting happiness. It is something that is just out of reach for many, and is something we all want more of. We just want to feel good, and be happy! Well-being is a balance of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health, and tending to these aspects on a daily basis is essential in the quest for greater joy, health and happiness.
Life can be difficult, and the best defense we have is to learn the coping skills to get through these ups and downs that are a part of life, and learn to thrive though them.
I have looked for my happiness in many ways through eating, drinking, striving for the 'perfect body' and perfect diet, the perfect career, more knowledge and education, shopping and buying more 'stuff', and the list goes on. I have also done things I am not proud of, in my search to find relief from my chronic depressed and unhappy state, but what I have learned is that all of what I was doing to cope, was simply a distraction from the real inner issues that needed healing and resolution.
What it has taken me so long to really see, is that no thing and no person can ever make me happy if I am unhappy inside of myself. If I am not happy with me, how is something or someone else going to give that to me?
Having nice things, a nice car to get me where I need to go, money to afford the comforts and pleasures of life, good friends, a healthy, happy marriage, healthy kids- these are all things I definitely want in my life, and I am truly grateful for, however how I now see happiness, the kind that comes from the depths of my soul, is very different today. If I lost all the material things, and the money is spent, I can still choose to be happy about so many other things. My health, my children, coffee, the sunshine, walking in nature, a simple healthy meal, my bed, books, hot baths, soul~friends...how many things can you list that bring you happiness that money can not buy?
The reality that rocks is that WE ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR OWN HAPPINESS!
And nothing outside of us can bring us true happiness, but only enhance and add to the happiness that we already carry inside of ourselves!
If happiness is something we are intending to create, knowing that we are the creator of our lives- we get to choose how we are going to live it each and every day.
How empowering does that feel?!
If we give our power to something or someone outside of ourselves to soothe our sadness, and take away our pain, we will never grow, and will never feel in control of our own well-being.
If you are experiencing a challenging situation, no matter what it may be, know that there is always something you can do to lean into happiness. Here are some tips to get you going:
Gratitude: One of the most powerful happiness boosting practices we can bring into our lives, is a daily gratitude practice. No matter where I have found myself in my life, if I choose to turn toward the positive aspects of my life and write them down, it shifts my entire mindset most of the time in an instant. Some days it is simply just to be alive to see another day on this earth and hug my kids- it is a privilege that has been denied to many. The key here is to create a practice, and strengthen our gratitude muscles.
Honoring of Self: Practice getting in touch with yourself regularly throughout the day, asking: What do I need today? What will nurture my mind, body, soul most right now? What am I feeling today? What can I do to take impeccable care of myself, so that I can be so full of love, well-being and authentic happiness, and spread that light into the world?
Dig deep: Know who holds the power to your happiness: If you think that you are unhappy because of A, B, C, I encourage you to ponder the idea that we are never upset for the reason we think. We can choose to give our power away to this person or that situation, and believe that [insert here] is the reason we are unhappy, but how are we allowing this to affect our happiness?
Happiness is an inside job, and we have more power over how we feel than we may think, however sometimes, creating happiness means walking away from people, or situations that are not serving our highest good. We can do our best to learn the lessons presented by the situation, and walk away with love. In those cases where shifting our inner perceptions and trying all of the above to start taking responsibility for creating happiness within, the truth is that sometimes, those we are surrounded by can drag us down, and no matter how much inner growth we strive for, sometimes the most self-loving thing we can do is to let go and remove ourselves from toxic people and situations. But even in this case, we are still taking responsibility and owning our life experience and reality by removing ourselves from that which is weighing us down.
Be courageous in your life, never give up! You can create happiness, and it all begins within YOU.
Leanne Oaten
Holistic Counsellor
www.soulworkcounselling.com
Find me on Facebook!
250-319-3630
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