Are you feeling tense, wired, stressed out, irritable, anxious or depressed much of the time? Do you feel revved up almost constantly like you can't stop? Or are you exhausted much of the time? Is your health suffering and deteriorating? Do you wish you could fly away to some deserted island and just be by yourself with nobody to bother you? Do you often find yourself fantasizing about running away from your life? This was me for the longest time, until I got serious about prioritizing my needs and making time for the things that really mattered to me.
Creating balance is not about having the perfect environment that is free of problems, challenges, and responsibilities. It is about continually reassessing where we are, and reevaluating our priorities and adjusting accordingly. The truth is we only have so much energy to expend in a given day, and if all of our energies are directed in one are for too long, things can start to unravel in our lives.
I have seen this happen with many people I have worked with, and people I have known. The Mom that focuses only on her role as a Mom, and never takes time for herself or gets out to see other people becomes severely depressed, and unhappy with her life. She resents her partner for not allowing her the opportunity to get out and have her own time, and the marriage starts to suffer. What she will learn if she looks to her priorities and what she wants in her life, is that she does have the power to make some changes in her life to bring more balance to her inner and outer life
The workaholic, that prioritizes work over meaningful connection, family, and tending to their own stress management and taking time for enjoyable activities becomes ill with symptoms that are debilitating, forcing them to stop and look at their life. Another common scenario is marital breakdown, if one partner is constantly focused on work, and ignores the other partner and the family, leading to marital discord, and possible breakdown.
The reality is that there will be times we have something that is needing a great deal of our attention, for example, a deadline at work, or caring for a sick child, and that is all we are able to focus on for a short period of time. This is life, and in knowing that this is short term, we can accept it, yet still do some things to maintain our equilibrium during those times so we are better able to manage and cope.
The problem with these imbalances that create havoc in our lives, and our health, are when they become the norm. When we are hyper-focused in one area too long, while ignoring other aspects of our life, problems can begin to develop in our health, well-being, mental/emotional health, relationships, career, and more.
When we are out of balance, it creates a ripple effect through our entire lives. It is also essential to make time for self reflection, and stay awake to how we are allowing certain aspects of our life to take over in a negative way. For ourselves, and those around us.
While we can not control much of that happens in our outer world, we can choose how we are going to respond to that which we have no control over, and choose to turn inward to balance our energies.
How can we maintain an inner balance, so we are better able to manage our every day lives from a more calm, solid and strong place?
For me, it helps to continually revisit my top priorities in my life, and make choices to bring myself into alignment with my priorities and the person I want to be.
Self-care and caring for my physical body
Meditation and alone time to keep me balanced and manage stress
My kids and spending unplugged time with them
My marriage and giving energy to nurturing and growing the relationship
Friendships that nourish me with people who see the best in me, and allow me to be who I am
Writing
Teaching
Personal development and learning
Exercise/walking in nature
These are some areas that are important to me to keep in check. Sometimes when the kids have been sick and I am at home with them, I can't do all of the things I want to do, but I can do some of them to keep myself feeling balanced within.
Some people are confused, and feel overwhelmed when I introduce the idea of creating balance in their lives. They think this means that they have renovate their entire lives, or that they have to perfectly juggle all aspects of their life in harmony, and that everything is supposed to be perfect all of the time. The truth is there is no such thing as perfect! But we do have some power and choice in how we are going to intentionally choose where we are going to expend our time and energies.
We always have a choice as to whom we are going to spend our limited time with, and what activities we want to say yes to. We have to learn the art of saying no with love at a request or invitation, if what we really need is a quiet night in with tea and a book, or connection time with our partner. It is always a learning and discerning dance, but I can tell you, life goes a lot smoother when we have a strong inner-balance happening, and the only way to maintain that balance, is to constantly assess and reassess what needs our attention the most. It will change depending on what is happening at certain times, life is change, so we better roll and flow with it, rather than resist it. To resist reality is one of the greatest causes of suffering, so better to work with what we have within our power to influence.
What are your top priorities, and how are you living in alignment with what matters to you the most? Time to get out that pad and pen and start writing. Awareness is the first step, the second step is action. We have to do something with this new awareness to create change. What are you willing to do to bring more inner and outer balance into your life?
Please join me for my upcoming talk all about stress and your health. Getting Beyond Burnout
Join me for my next full day workshop to go more in depth about how to create more balance within.
Visit my website for more information
Leanne Oaten- Registered Holistic Counsellor, R.P.Cc
250-319-3630
info@leanneoaten.com
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