I believe many of us struggle in finding authentic and real, lasting happiness. It is something that is just out of reach for many, and is something we all want more of. We just want to feel good, and be happy! Well-being is a balance of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health, and tending to these aspects on a daily basis is essential in the quest for greater joy, health and happiness.
Life can be difficult, and the best defense we have is to learn the coping skills to get through these ups and downs that are a part of life, and learn to thrive though them.
I have looked for my happiness in many ways through eating, drinking, striving for the 'perfect body' and perfect diet, the perfect career, more knowledge and education, shopping and buying more 'stuff', and the list goes on. I have also done things I am not proud of, in my search to find relief from my chronic depressed and unhappy state, but what I have learned is that all of what I was doing to cope, was simply a distraction from the real inner issues that needed healing and resolution.
What it has taken me so long to really see, is that no thing and no person can ever make me happy if I am unhappy inside of myself. If I am not happy with me, how is something or someone else going to give that to me?
Having nice things, a nice car to get me where I need to go, money to afford the comforts and pleasures of life, good friends, a healthy, happy marriage, healthy kids- these are all things I definitely want in my life, and I am truly grateful for, however how I now see happiness, the kind that comes from the depths of my soul, is very different today. If I lost all the material things, and the money is spent, I can still choose to be happy about so many other things. My health, my children, coffee, the sunshine, walking in nature, a simple healthy meal, my bed, books, hot baths, soul~friends...how many things can you list that bring you happiness that money can not buy?
The reality that rocks is that WE ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR OWN HAPPINESS!
And nothing outside of us can bring us true happiness, but only enhance and add to the happiness that we already carry inside of ourselves!
If happiness is something we are intending to create, knowing that we are the creator of our lives- we get to choose how we are going to live it each and every day.
How empowering does that feel?!
If we give our power to something or someone outside of ourselves to soothe our sadness, and take away our pain, we will never grow, and will never feel in control of our own well-being.
If you are experiencing a challenging situation, no matter what it may be, know that there is always something you can do to lean into happiness. Here are some tips to get you going:
Gratitude: One of the most powerful happiness boosting practices we can bring into our lives, is a daily gratitude practice. No matter where I have found myself in my life, if I choose to turn toward the positive aspects of my life and write them down, it shifts my entire mindset most of the time in an instant. Some days it is simply just to be alive to see another day on this earth and hug my kids- it is a privilege that has been denied to many. The key here is to create a practice, and strengthen our gratitude muscles.
Honoring of Self: Practice getting in touch with yourself regularly throughout the day, asking: What do I need today? What will nurture my mind, body, soul most right now? What am I feeling today? What can I do to take impeccable care of myself, so that I can be so full of love, well-being and authentic happiness, and spread that light into the world?
Dig deep: Know who holds the power to your happiness: If you think that you are unhappy because of A, B, C, I encourage you to ponder the idea that we are never upset for the reason we think. We can choose to give our power away to this person or that situation, and believe that [insert here] is the reason we are unhappy, but how are we allowing this to affect our happiness?
Happiness is an inside job, and we have more power over how we feel than we may think, however sometimes, creating happiness means walking away from people, or situations that are not serving our highest good. We can do our best to learn the lessons presented by the situation, and walk away with love. In those cases where shifting our inner perceptions and trying all of the above to start taking responsibility for creating happiness within, the truth is that sometimes, those we are surrounded by can drag us down, and no matter how much inner growth we strive for, sometimes the most self-loving thing we can do is to let go and remove ourselves from toxic people and situations. But even in this case, we are still taking responsibility and owning our life experience and reality by removing ourselves from that which is weighing us down.
Be courageous in your life, never give up! You can create happiness, and it all begins within YOU.
Leanne Oaten
Holistic Counsellor
www.soulworkcounselling.com
Find me on Facebook!
250-319-3630
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Feeling like crap? Here's what you need to do.
Are you feeling overwhelmed, irritable, exhausted, depressed, stressed, anxious, or just plain crappy and aren't sure why, what to do, or where to start to begin feeling better?
One tool that I use personally, and professionally with my clients, is looking to the Balance Wheel, or the Wheel of Life. This is a wonderful tool to use on a regular basis, and especially when we are feeling out of balance, and any of the above emotions on a regular basis.
Are you neglecting any areas of your whole being? As you can see in the diagram above, someone who's life is primarily dominated by their work life, has little time for anything else.
If you are struggling in some area of your life, or feel like every area is a mess and just don't know what needs your attention, turn to this exercise.
Sit down with a pad of paper or a journal. Pick a time where you won't be disturbed and reflect on all of the bubbles in the diagram above. To narrow it down in the beginning, I suggest focusing on the 4 main dimensions to get you started: mental, emotional, physical, spiritual.
Make 4 columns on the page to represent each dimension, or copy the format above, whatever feels right for you, and list the activities and practices you regularly practice to nourish and feed each dimension.
If it is obvious your work life dominates everything, and you have no time for anything else, it is time to take action and implement some balance back in. If all of your free time is spent exercising or playing sports for example after work and on weekends, and this leaves little time for relaxation or family, again, how to can you put some balance back into your life?
This is a quick awareness exercise, and can be really eye opening. Remember this rule of thumb: When we are extreme in any area of our lives, we are out of balance.
What are some things you can begin doing this week to care for your whole being wellness?
I facilitate regular workshops on creating life balance, stress management, as well as offer one-to-one coaching sessions to help you get on track. I love helping others to regain a healthy balance into their lives!
Leanne is a Holistic Counsellor & Soul-Centered Life Coach. She teaches regular classes related to whole being health, personal development and natural healing and offers one-to-one coaching programs.
Visit: www.soulworkcounselling.com for upcoming events.
She can be reached at: 250-319-3630 | soulworkcounselling@yahoo.ca
5 Tips for Inner~ Success and Being an Awesome Person
I have always been a person who thinks deeply, and considers others. Even in school when I witnessed the meanness that was going on around me with other girls, I would keep quiet, or I would say something to stand up for the ones being talked about behind their backs.
To this day, I stick very closely to this same belief, and know how being even slightly gossipy or
disloyal to another feels within me, so I choose every single day, and in every single moment to be as kind, loyal and true to myself, and real with others in all of my interactions and relationships.
I have learned some really big lessons this past year, and some of them were very difficult, painful and uncomfortable. I have learned that I must retreat, and take a mini break from my life during these times of deeper learning, to go within, and absorb the lessons.
1) Not everybody is going to behave the way that you do. Not everyone has the same love in their hearts, or sensitivity in their souls to have empathy and compassion, or appreciation for another. Not everyone is interested in self-reflection, and looking at their own behavior, or digging deep to learn how to be better and kinder to others. We all have our own shit, but we can always choose how much of that we are going to carry around with us in our life, and throw at others. We ALWAYS have a choice in how we treat others and how we are going to show up in the world. All we can do, is choose love and kindness in every situation we encounter, and especially love, kindness, compassion toward ourselves. How others treat us is their karma, how we respond is ours and is our responsibility- so let go of what others are doing or how they behave, and focus on your own inner growth instead. Use the poor behavior of others to ask "How can I use this to make ME even better?" Or " What am I learning in this situation?"
Remember this: how we treat others is usually how we treat ourselves. So be kind and love YOU, so you can be so full of love, that it just overflows into every area of your life.
2) You can not please everyone. It is not your responsibility to turn into a human pretzel or stand on your head to make everyone happy. When we are always trying to bend, twist, and give everything to others, we are often not putting ourselves into the equation. What do WE want? If we are spending all of our energies "people pleasing" where are we pleasing ourselves? We can get really lost and confused when we are focused on others, what they think and what they want, and lose sight of our own inner knowing, truth and desires. Stop trying to stand on your head for people who wouldn't even do a jumping jack for you. No matter how hard you try to appease others, they are still not going to be happy, and will always find something else to complain about. So best to focus inward, and please YOU, and make YOU happy.
"You will find that people will always have opinions about your decisions. Don't take it personally, it's simply because they're not courageous enough to take action in their own lives. Be a leader in YOUR life and pay no mind to those who lack the courage to do the same in theirs"---Steve Maraboli
3) We can not change others. We can only inspire others to be more, and be better, but in the end they decide if they are going to step up and make changes. Let go of judgments and trying to control others, and bring the focus back onto yourself. What can you work on? What is it about the others behavior that you can also see exists within you? Almost always, what drives us crazy about others, there is some element of that behavior that we can find within ourselves. Not always easy to look this honestly at ourselves, but what we can learn a lot from this practice. I a not saying that this is true in all circumstances, but try it out, and see what you discover about yourself.
4) Self-Awareness is the key to all other life transformation. In all of the above points, and anything else we do for our relationships, health, wellness, and eating habits, having a good relationship with our~ SELF is essential. If I am feeling agitated, angry, or activated by something someone else says or does, it is my job to pause, look inside, and see where this reaction is coming from- then decide how I will respond, rather than react in the moment. If I am reaching for the chocolate chip bag almost unconsciously, it is my job to pause and look inside to see what is going on emotionally, am I stressing or ruminating about something that is bothering me? Would a walk, meditation, talk with a friend, or a cup of tea be a better solution? We are always responsible for our own behavior no matter what is happening outside of us. That is where our true power lies- within.
5) Time passes. Life is change. Thinking too much is counterproductive. Learning to let go is never easy. We must feel our way through life, not think our way through life.
It is very difficult to let go, and flow with change. But what I do know, is that it is much easier to flow with the emotions that arise during these difficult transitions, than it is to fight them, and cling to the past, or hold so tightly we suffocate ourselves and others. We have one finite amount of time on this earth, in this body. Instead of cutting ourselves off from the pain, sadness or difficulty, it is better to feel our way through it. Allow ourselves to feel what is present. If we do not allow the emotions to flow, they become stuck and stagnant and create dis-ease within the body and mind. Take it moment to moment, day to day, and honor the process of life, and the inevitable changes that will occur. To feel is to be alive. When we are cut off and disconnected from ourselves and others, are we really living?
One theme you may have noticed here, is that all self mastery begins within us. We gain success in our lives by mastering the art of INNER~success. Once we are able to feel successful from within, it will be reflected in our outer world. Start looking inside yourself, and you will find all the answers you are looking for.
An amazing book I am reading right now that will assist you further in achieving true INNER~success: "Success Intelligence" by Robert Holden
Wishing you abundant inner~success!
Leanne
Leanne is a Holistic Counsellor & Soul-Centered Life Coach. She teaches regular classes and workshops related to whole being health, personal development and natural healing and offers one-to-one coaching programs in person, over the phone and Skype.
Visit: www.soulworkcounselling.com for upcoming events.
She can be reached at: 250-319-3630 | soulworkcounselling@yahoo.ca
To this day, I stick very closely to this same belief, and know how being even slightly gossipy or
disloyal to another feels within me, so I choose every single day, and in every single moment to be as kind, loyal and true to myself, and real with others in all of my interactions and relationships.
I have learned some really big lessons this past year, and some of them were very difficult, painful and uncomfortable. I have learned that I must retreat, and take a mini break from my life during these times of deeper learning, to go within, and absorb the lessons.
1) Not everybody is going to behave the way that you do. Not everyone has the same love in their hearts, or sensitivity in their souls to have empathy and compassion, or appreciation for another. Not everyone is interested in self-reflection, and looking at their own behavior, or digging deep to learn how to be better and kinder to others. We all have our own shit, but we can always choose how much of that we are going to carry around with us in our life, and throw at others. We ALWAYS have a choice in how we treat others and how we are going to show up in the world. All we can do, is choose love and kindness in every situation we encounter, and especially love, kindness, compassion toward ourselves. How others treat us is their karma, how we respond is ours and is our responsibility- so let go of what others are doing or how they behave, and focus on your own inner growth instead. Use the poor behavior of others to ask "How can I use this to make ME even better?" Or " What am I learning in this situation?"
Remember this: how we treat others is usually how we treat ourselves. So be kind and love YOU, so you can be so full of love, that it just overflows into every area of your life.
2) You can not please everyone. It is not your responsibility to turn into a human pretzel or stand on your head to make everyone happy. When we are always trying to bend, twist, and give everything to others, we are often not putting ourselves into the equation. What do WE want? If we are spending all of our energies "people pleasing" where are we pleasing ourselves? We can get really lost and confused when we are focused on others, what they think and what they want, and lose sight of our own inner knowing, truth and desires. Stop trying to stand on your head for people who wouldn't even do a jumping jack for you. No matter how hard you try to appease others, they are still not going to be happy, and will always find something else to complain about. So best to focus inward, and please YOU, and make YOU happy.
"You will find that people will always have opinions about your decisions. Don't take it personally, it's simply because they're not courageous enough to take action in their own lives. Be a leader in YOUR life and pay no mind to those who lack the courage to do the same in theirs"---Steve Maraboli
3) We can not change others. We can only inspire others to be more, and be better, but in the end they decide if they are going to step up and make changes. Let go of judgments and trying to control others, and bring the focus back onto yourself. What can you work on? What is it about the others behavior that you can also see exists within you? Almost always, what drives us crazy about others, there is some element of that behavior that we can find within ourselves. Not always easy to look this honestly at ourselves, but what we can learn a lot from this practice. I a not saying that this is true in all circumstances, but try it out, and see what you discover about yourself.
4) Self-Awareness is the key to all other life transformation. In all of the above points, and anything else we do for our relationships, health, wellness, and eating habits, having a good relationship with our~ SELF is essential. If I am feeling agitated, angry, or activated by something someone else says or does, it is my job to pause, look inside, and see where this reaction is coming from- then decide how I will respond, rather than react in the moment. If I am reaching for the chocolate chip bag almost unconsciously, it is my job to pause and look inside to see what is going on emotionally, am I stressing or ruminating about something that is bothering me? Would a walk, meditation, talk with a friend, or a cup of tea be a better solution? We are always responsible for our own behavior no matter what is happening outside of us. That is where our true power lies- within.
5) Time passes. Life is change. Thinking too much is counterproductive. Learning to let go is never easy. We must feel our way through life, not think our way through life.
It is very difficult to let go, and flow with change. But what I do know, is that it is much easier to flow with the emotions that arise during these difficult transitions, than it is to fight them, and cling to the past, or hold so tightly we suffocate ourselves and others. We have one finite amount of time on this earth, in this body. Instead of cutting ourselves off from the pain, sadness or difficulty, it is better to feel our way through it. Allow ourselves to feel what is present. If we do not allow the emotions to flow, they become stuck and stagnant and create dis-ease within the body and mind. Take it moment to moment, day to day, and honor the process of life, and the inevitable changes that will occur. To feel is to be alive. When we are cut off and disconnected from ourselves and others, are we really living?
One theme you may have noticed here, is that all self mastery begins within us. We gain success in our lives by mastering the art of INNER~success. Once we are able to feel successful from within, it will be reflected in our outer world. Start looking inside yourself, and you will find all the answers you are looking for.
An amazing book I am reading right now that will assist you further in achieving true INNER~success: "Success Intelligence" by Robert Holden
Wishing you abundant inner~success!
Leanne
Leanne is a Holistic Counsellor & Soul-Centered Life Coach. She teaches regular classes and workshops related to whole being health, personal development and natural healing and offers one-to-one coaching programs in person, over the phone and Skype.
Visit: www.soulworkcounselling.com for upcoming events.
She can be reached at: 250-319-3630 | soulworkcounselling@yahoo.ca
Thursday, March 19, 2015
3 things to start practicing today for greater happiness, balance and stress management
There was a time in my life, not so very long ago, that I never could have imagined I would be writing about, coaching or advising anyone about living a calm, grounded, joyful, and happy life.
While I have worked very long and hard to get to a place where I am able to guide people out of the darkness they may be experiencing, and I can teach people how to find greater joy, health and well-being through my personal experiences and knowledge, I still have times when I find myself in a hot mess. Usually this is because I have gotten too busy, and let the practices go that keep me grounded, and balanced. But I am more OK with that now, because what I now know, and am about to share with you, is how to regain my emotional balance, ground my inner equilibrium, transform the darkness into light, depression into hope, anxiety into grounding, and inner turmoil into refining and resetting my priorities. I am continually assessing my life, to see what I need to let go of, and what I need to start doing more of, to restore my inner balance.
Here are 3 things I do that work for me, and you can start doing today, to bring more of a sense of calm, contentedness, and happiness into your days.
1) Create a personal sanctuary.
One of the first homework assignments I like to give my clients, is for them to create a sacred healing space. A place they can come to again, and again, to connect with themselves. It can be simply a corner of a room that is created just for the purpose of reconnecting with, and replenishing yourself.
No matter what is happening in my life, I have this space to center myself through meditation, writing, reading, or just sipping my morning coffee or tea in pure silence. The kids know that no toys are allowed in this room, so I encourage you to set this boundary in your home as well, if you have young children that tend to take over the house!
In a space like this, it is nice to be surrounded by beautiful things that you love, and are meaningful to you, such as photos, memorabilia, flowers, plants, healing crystals, candles, incense, your favorite books, quotes, whatever it is that has meaning for you. The coffee table in the photo is from the early 70's, and was my Grannies. I have so many memories of having tea with her at this table as a little girl, and so many of my family gathered around it in her living room. It has huge personal meaning to me, and I love this piece of furniture because of the good memories it evokes.
2) Make your Self-Care a high priority every single day. If all you have is 30 minutes make it count. It is easy to fill that time with dishes, or texting, or working, and so on, however we will be much more content, productive and present for those who need us most, if we take this time for ourselves every single day. The dishes, laundry and emails can wait, better to invest in filling ourselves up so we have energy to give to those we love, and to the tasks that truly need our attention.
Take a hot bath, have some time in your sacred space doing whatever fills you up, make tea, stretch, read a book, go for a walk. It doesn't matter what it is you do, as long as it is something that brings you joy and a feeling of being replenished afterwards. My promise to you, is that if you make the time for YOU to do these things every day, you will feel like a different person.
3) Practice tuning in to your nutrition intuition. Love your body enough to feed it with love, and high-vibe foods such as raw veggies, fruit, salads, nuts and seeds. Are you craving salads suddenly,or more fruit, can't get enough smoothies or green juice? Put off of meat and gravitate toward more vegetarian foods? Or the opposite, is your body craving meat suddenly?Is the thought of a green smoothie sickening when you've spent the past month downing them no problem? Listen to these messages. If you don't
normally eat meat, and your mouth is watering at the site of a big juicy burger, or steak perhaps you are low in iron? If you do choose to eat meat, do so in moderation, and go for ethically raised, hormone free, organic when you do. (Best to avoid any extra hormones or antibiotics throwing things off in our delicate systems!)
Our body is always telling us what it needs- if we can just tune in and listen. As long as those cravings are not for doughnuts, cakes, cookies and food that does not nourish the body, mind and soul, go for it. Of course indulgences are necessary, it is not about perfection, but how can you allow for those indulgences, in a healthier way?
Some of my favorite treats come from the Oh She Glows cookbook and blog. Seriously, if you want some healthy treats, and want to try out some scrumptious animal free recipes, this is an amazing place to begin!You can eat healthy and delicious, it just takes getting into the kitchen and creating real food at home, rather than food that comes out of a package.
Nourishing our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual self on a daily basis, is the way to living healthier, and happier, and is the key to healing any health issue of the body, or mind such as depression, or anxiety. My experience is that when life gets busy, I tend to move away from my practices, and everything starts to go sideways. Once I get back to making myself a priority, especially when I am busy, everything flows so much better in all areas of my life.
If you are struggling, feeling stuck, or just feel burned out, worn down, and not sure where to start, try out these tips.
If you would like more support, I work with people to assist them in achieving greater happiness and fulfillment in their lives through holistic coaching and counselling. For a limited time, I am offering FREE 30 minute phone consultations addressing your 3 top health concerns.
Contact me to book your appointment.
Wishing you an inspired day,
~Leanne
Leanne is a Holistic Mind-Body Health Coach and offers regular classes, workshops, and one to one coaching programs to assist others in finding greater health, happiness, and well-being.
Visit: Soulwork Holistic Counselling for services and upcoming programs.
Contact Leanne: 250-319-3630 | soulworkcounselling@yahoo.ca
Like me on Facebook!
While I have worked very long and hard to get to a place where I am able to guide people out of the darkness they may be experiencing, and I can teach people how to find greater joy, health and well-being through my personal experiences and knowledge, I still have times when I find myself in a hot mess. Usually this is because I have gotten too busy, and let the practices go that keep me grounded, and balanced. But I am more OK with that now, because what I now know, and am about to share with you, is how to regain my emotional balance, ground my inner equilibrium, transform the darkness into light, depression into hope, anxiety into grounding, and inner turmoil into refining and resetting my priorities. I am continually assessing my life, to see what I need to let go of, and what I need to start doing more of, to restore my inner balance.
Here are 3 things I do that work for me, and you can start doing today, to bring more of a sense of calm, contentedness, and happiness into your days.
1) Create a personal sanctuary.One of the first homework assignments I like to give my clients, is for them to create a sacred healing space. A place they can come to again, and again, to connect with themselves. It can be simply a corner of a room that is created just for the purpose of reconnecting with, and replenishing yourself.
No matter what is happening in my life, I have this space to center myself through meditation, writing, reading, or just sipping my morning coffee or tea in pure silence. The kids know that no toys are allowed in this room, so I encourage you to set this boundary in your home as well, if you have young children that tend to take over the house!
In a space like this, it is nice to be surrounded by beautiful things that you love, and are meaningful to you, such as photos, memorabilia, flowers, plants, healing crystals, candles, incense, your favorite books, quotes, whatever it is that has meaning for you. The coffee table in the photo is from the early 70's, and was my Grannies. I have so many memories of having tea with her at this table as a little girl, and so many of my family gathered around it in her living room. It has huge personal meaning to me, and I love this piece of furniture because of the good memories it evokes.
2) Make your Self-Care a high priority every single day. If all you have is 30 minutes make it count. It is easy to fill that time with dishes, or texting, or working, and so on, however we will be much more content, productive and present for those who need us most, if we take this time for ourselves every single day. The dishes, laundry and emails can wait, better to invest in filling ourselves up so we have energy to give to those we love, and to the tasks that truly need our attention.
Take a hot bath, have some time in your sacred space doing whatever fills you up, make tea, stretch, read a book, go for a walk. It doesn't matter what it is you do, as long as it is something that brings you joy and a feeling of being replenished afterwards. My promise to you, is that if you make the time for YOU to do these things every day, you will feel like a different person.
3) Practice tuning in to your nutrition intuition. Love your body enough to feed it with love, and high-vibe foods such as raw veggies, fruit, salads, nuts and seeds. Are you craving salads suddenly,or more fruit, can't get enough smoothies or green juice? Put off of meat and gravitate toward more vegetarian foods? Or the opposite, is your body craving meat suddenly?Is the thought of a green smoothie sickening when you've spent the past month downing them no problem? Listen to these messages. If you don't
Our body is always telling us what it needs- if we can just tune in and listen. As long as those cravings are not for doughnuts, cakes, cookies and food that does not nourish the body, mind and soul, go for it. Of course indulgences are necessary, it is not about perfection, but how can you allow for those indulgences, in a healthier way?
Some of my favorite treats come from the Oh She Glows cookbook and blog. Seriously, if you want some healthy treats, and want to try out some scrumptious animal free recipes, this is an amazing place to begin!You can eat healthy and delicious, it just takes getting into the kitchen and creating real food at home, rather than food that comes out of a package.
Nourishing our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual self on a daily basis, is the way to living healthier, and happier, and is the key to healing any health issue of the body, or mind such as depression, or anxiety. My experience is that when life gets busy, I tend to move away from my practices, and everything starts to go sideways. Once I get back to making myself a priority, especially when I am busy, everything flows so much better in all areas of my life.
If you are struggling, feeling stuck, or just feel burned out, worn down, and not sure where to start, try out these tips.
If you would like more support, I work with people to assist them in achieving greater happiness and fulfillment in their lives through holistic coaching and counselling. For a limited time, I am offering FREE 30 minute phone consultations addressing your 3 top health concerns.
Contact me to book your appointment.
Wishing you an inspired day,
~Leanne
Leanne is a Holistic Mind-Body Health Coach and offers regular classes, workshops, and one to one coaching programs to assist others in finding greater health, happiness, and well-being.
Visit: Soulwork Holistic Counselling for services and upcoming programs.
Contact Leanne: 250-319-3630 | soulworkcounselling@yahoo.ca
Like me on Facebook!
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Getting Un-stuck: What to do when you feel like doing nothing
Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what we most need to do. There is no purpose in forcing ourselves to feel better, when what we need to do is go into the feelings and acknowledge and feel them. The truth is we have to feel our emotions to heal them- what we feel we can heal. The only emotions to fear are the ones we repress, deny, numb and don't acknowledge.
We must learn to tune in, and listen to our body to discern when we need to rest and replenish our weary body, mind and soul. Sometimes doing nothing is necessary to move us forward, and renew our motivation, inspiration, and shift us to the next level in our healing and growth.
While this can be helpful, at times, letting it drag on for days on end can lead to more difficulty in climbing back out of a deep hole of despair. People who are depressed feed the depression by staying in those low feeling energies, which only make things worse.
Sometimes, life can feel like a constant struggle. We work so hard, we try to do everything right, we fall down, get back up and keep trying. We fail, we fall, we lose, we get hurt, we are exhausted from the struggle, and feel like we want to give up. But something moves us forward, that quiet inner whisper says, "keep going"...
Sometimes these low energy moods come into our experience to prepare us for our next level of growth. I have seen this in people I have worked with, and have experienced this on my own personal journey.It is preparing you for a 'growth spurt' or a shift in consciousness.
I have learned to just accept and roll with those bad feeling days with self- kindness and self-love. In the past I would beat myself up for feeling badly- which seems crazy to me now. Those days I just want to pack it all in, say screw it, and just go back to being unconscious of everything around me. Including my own inner process. While I have had many of those days, and even weeks and months feeling like this, now it is only short periods of a passing funk. I have built the self - mastery around moving through these tough times, and have the awareness I didn't have before to connect with what I am feeling, and what I most need in the moment.
Being conscious, sensitive and aware of everything going on within us is the first step on the healing journey. It is gritty and raw and real, but what comes from the other side of going fully into those times of deep despair, is what makes this journey so worth it.
Life has deeper meaning, we see the beauty in it all, our heart bursts with Gratitude and appreciation. We love deeply, we make a difference in others lives because we embody this real truth. We appreciate the light because we have known the darkness. The truth that we are human, and with that comes the ups and downs, the sorrows, depression, anxiety, fear, sadness, loss, hardship, bankruptcy, health issues, illness, conflicts and things that are beyond our control.
When you feel yourself sinking into the 'black hole', or going down that downward spiral-- assuming you are self-aware enough to know when this is happening-- there are steps you can take to shift out of this place. If you want to stay in it for awhile, and that feels like what you need to do, please go right ahead and marinade in it. Cry, punch a pillow, write all of the ugliness that is inside of you on paper and burn or tear up the pages. Feel it, honor it, accept it, love it, and transmute it through to completion. Once you are done with that, here are some tips to get you unstuck from the muck.
1) Move. Just get up and move your body. Crank the tunes, go for a walk or run. Life weights. Do some yoga. Get out into nature. Vacuum the house, scrub the floors, whatever it is..just...move. Once we start to move our body, we also move the stagnant energy and emotions within, and things start to shift. It can be common to have an emotional release after this step. When I was deep into my emotional healing journey, I would often have an emotional release during my run or walk. It is healthy to feel and allow your emotions to move through - you are doing something wonderful for your mind,body, heart and soul when you allow emotions to flow through.
2) Reach out. Connect with a supportive friend, talk to your partner, hug your kids (or anyone who is near by) it is OK to ask for support! Find a counsellor, coach or healing practitioner you resonate with, and do some inner work. When we ask for support, things shift and move faster than you can imagine.
3) Meditate. Just sit, in silence with eyes closed. If you have some healing music that relaxes you, go ahead and have that playing in the background. Listen to what messages or emotions surface. It doesn't have to be complicated. Just be still, breathe, and be with yourself and whatever is present.
4) Write. Repeating the above (sorry) . Write in a journal., write a blog, write a book, whatever- just get whatever is inside of you out onto the page. If you are worried that someone will find your writing, burn the pages right afterwards (this is my #1 favorite way to release negative emotion) and is highly therapeutic. I assign this to every single client I work with, and they always report amazing results!
5) Make a smoothie. Yes, really. Put something nourishing into your body, because live food is healing down to our cells. Make some tea afterwards, read something inspiring, rest. Nurture yourself as you would a child or friend that is not feeling well.
6) Use essential oils. I am so grateful for doTERRA essential oils. They have shifted my energy and mood on so many occasions. Serenity, Balance Grounding blend, Elevation, Clary Calm, and In Tune are all highly healing, 100% pure therapeutic grade blends that work at the cellular level, and are effective for mental and emotional healing.
Healing can be uncomfortable at times to be sure, but avoiding and denying our feelings and emotions over a long period of time, will eventually begin to create illness and disease within the body. We need a healthy outlet and a few tools under our belts to move the emotion through so it does not become 'stuck' somewhere else in the body to create disease.
If you would like to learn more about shifting to a better feeling place, managing your stress, and getting healthy from within, join me for my next Whole Health talk. Next session is:
November 30th 7-8 pm. Please follow this link for your FREE Tickets.
I hope to see you there!
In health,
Leanne Oaten Registered Professional Counsellor, R.P.C
Visit: leanneoaten.com for upcoming events and download my free stress guide while you're there.
E: info@leanneoaten.com
We must learn to tune in, and listen to our body to discern when we need to rest and replenish our weary body, mind and soul. Sometimes doing nothing is necessary to move us forward, and renew our motivation, inspiration, and shift us to the next level in our healing and growth.
While this can be helpful, at times, letting it drag on for days on end can lead to more difficulty in climbing back out of a deep hole of despair. People who are depressed feed the depression by staying in those low feeling energies, which only make things worse.
Sometimes, life can feel like a constant struggle. We work so hard, we try to do everything right, we fall down, get back up and keep trying. We fail, we fall, we lose, we get hurt, we are exhausted from the struggle, and feel like we want to give up. But something moves us forward, that quiet inner whisper says, "keep going"...
Sometimes these low energy moods come into our experience to prepare us for our next level of growth. I have seen this in people I have worked with, and have experienced this on my own personal journey.It is preparing you for a 'growth spurt' or a shift in consciousness.
I have learned to just accept and roll with those bad feeling days with self- kindness and self-love. In the past I would beat myself up for feeling badly- which seems crazy to me now. Those days I just want to pack it all in, say screw it, and just go back to being unconscious of everything around me. Including my own inner process. While I have had many of those days, and even weeks and months feeling like this, now it is only short periods of a passing funk. I have built the self - mastery around moving through these tough times, and have the awareness I didn't have before to connect with what I am feeling, and what I most need in the moment.
Being conscious, sensitive and aware of everything going on within us is the first step on the healing journey. It is gritty and raw and real, but what comes from the other side of going fully into those times of deep despair, is what makes this journey so worth it.
Life has deeper meaning, we see the beauty in it all, our heart bursts with Gratitude and appreciation. We love deeply, we make a difference in others lives because we embody this real truth. We appreciate the light because we have known the darkness. The truth that we are human, and with that comes the ups and downs, the sorrows, depression, anxiety, fear, sadness, loss, hardship, bankruptcy, health issues, illness, conflicts and things that are beyond our control.
When in times of darkness,
it is time for some extreme Self-Care.
When you feel yourself sinking into the 'black hole', or going down that downward spiral-- assuming you are self-aware enough to know when this is happening-- there are steps you can take to shift out of this place. If you want to stay in it for awhile, and that feels like what you need to do, please go right ahead and marinade in it. Cry, punch a pillow, write all of the ugliness that is inside of you on paper and burn or tear up the pages. Feel it, honor it, accept it, love it, and transmute it through to completion. Once you are done with that, here are some tips to get you unstuck from the muck.
1) Move. Just get up and move your body. Crank the tunes, go for a walk or run. Life weights. Do some yoga. Get out into nature. Vacuum the house, scrub the floors, whatever it is..just...move. Once we start to move our body, we also move the stagnant energy and emotions within, and things start to shift. It can be common to have an emotional release after this step. When I was deep into my emotional healing journey, I would often have an emotional release during my run or walk. It is healthy to feel and allow your emotions to move through - you are doing something wonderful for your mind,body, heart and soul when you allow emotions to flow through.
2) Reach out. Connect with a supportive friend, talk to your partner, hug your kids (or anyone who is near by) it is OK to ask for support! Find a counsellor, coach or healing practitioner you resonate with, and do some inner work. When we ask for support, things shift and move faster than you can imagine.
3) Meditate. Just sit, in silence with eyes closed. If you have some healing music that relaxes you, go ahead and have that playing in the background. Listen to what messages or emotions surface. It doesn't have to be complicated. Just be still, breathe, and be with yourself and whatever is present.
4) Write. Repeating the above (sorry) . Write in a journal., write a blog, write a book, whatever- just get whatever is inside of you out onto the page. If you are worried that someone will find your writing, burn the pages right afterwards (this is my #1 favorite way to release negative emotion) and is highly therapeutic. I assign this to every single client I work with, and they always report amazing results!
5) Make a smoothie. Yes, really. Put something nourishing into your body, because live food is healing down to our cells. Make some tea afterwards, read something inspiring, rest. Nurture yourself as you would a child or friend that is not feeling well.
6) Use essential oils. I am so grateful for doTERRA essential oils. They have shifted my energy and mood on so many occasions. Serenity, Balance Grounding blend, Elevation, Clary Calm, and In Tune are all highly healing, 100% pure therapeutic grade blends that work at the cellular level, and are effective for mental and emotional healing.
Healing can be uncomfortable at times to be sure, but avoiding and denying our feelings and emotions over a long period of time, will eventually begin to create illness and disease within the body. We need a healthy outlet and a few tools under our belts to move the emotion through so it does not become 'stuck' somewhere else in the body to create disease.
If you would like to learn more about shifting to a better feeling place, managing your stress, and getting healthy from within, join me for my next Whole Health talk. Next session is:
November 30th 7-8 pm. Please follow this link for your FREE Tickets.
I hope to see you there!
In health,
Leanne Oaten Registered Professional Counsellor, R.P.C
Visit: leanneoaten.com for upcoming events and download my free stress guide while you're there.
E: info@leanneoaten.com
Saturday, October 18, 2014
7 Tips for Keeping Kids Healthy
Our children are exposed to so many different germs and come
into contact with superbugs and viruses on a daily basis, and even more so when
they are in daycare and school. While we can’t prevent them from getting sick
at all, and getting exposed to viruses is what actually builds their immature
immune systems, there is a lot we can do as parents to reduce the number of
illnesses per year, as well as lessen the severity when they do get sick.
As a Mom of three I am always doing many things to keep my children
healthy, happy with their immune systems functioning to the best they can be. I
look to the holistic model (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual) for
balanced health, and consider that everything is connected. If our children are
not well rested, eat too much of sugar and fake junk foods, have too many
activities they rush around to every week (on top of school) and their home
life is tense and stressful (with unbalanced and stressed out parents) these
factors all have an effect on their immune systems and overall well-being. So,
what are we to do? Here are some tips to keep in mind when considering your
child’s health:
1) Reduce refined sugars: Sugar depletes the immune system, period. Sugar is also in just about every single processed
food and packaged drinks. While 100% fruit juice has no added sugar, it is pretty close to the same thing as a lot of the naturally occurring nutrients have been processed out and later added back in. It is still a processed food and should be limited. An alternative 'soda' I give my kids for special occasions is called Zevia. It is sweetened with Stevia and comes in several different flavors. Or, try freshly squeezed fruit juice topped off with sparkling water. Read labels, and avoid foods that have more than 3-4 grams (or
less) sugar per serving. It all adds up.
2) Make sleep a high priority: Young kids need 11-12 hours of
quality sleep per night, most take at least an hour to wind down after a busy day. I try to start the bedtime routine of diming the lights, and zero screen time after 6 p.m. on school nights.
3) Hygiene: Teach them proper hand washing habits. Remind
them to use these same habits at school as well. Skip the chemical loaded 'anti-bacterial' soaps and go for a naturally derived soap instead.
4) Subdue stress: Kids get stressed and overwhelmed just like we do, and these days are way too overscheduled, and need more down-time carved in their days. Teach them the essential life- skill of relaxation and help them learn ways
to unwind from the day, such as meditation, deep breathing, walking in nature,
spending time with a pet, journaling or drawing before bed. Make sure they have
regular ‘recharge’ periods during the day as well between activities. Also be mindful of your own stress levels and emotional balance, as our presence in the home has an effect on our kids well-being. Take care to attend to your own self- care and model healthy stress management.
5) Nutrition: Whole food nutrition is the best foundation we
can give our kids, for a healthy lifestyle. Whole foods as much as possible is
the way to go!
6) Support the body:
Strategic supplementation is helpful. A quality
multi vitamin, vitamin C, Vitamin D, and (Echinacea or Elderberry extract when
they are sick) are a good place to start. If frequent viruses and infections are present, have their blood tested for nutrient deficiencies such as low iron or vitamin D levels.
7) Explore essential oils: Only use pure, therapeutic grade essential oils that
are certified pure, and safe for ingestion. Two of my favorite products I use on my kids are the doTERRA "On Guard" protective
blend, and "Serenity" relaxation blends. For fever peppermint is helpful applied diluted with a carrier oil and applies to the forehead, and "Breathe" Respiratory blend is wonderful for cough and stuffy noses. For a free consultation about how to integrate the use of oils into your family life, contact me to book an appointment. View my website here: http://www.mydoterra.com/mindbodyhealing/
Educate yourself, learn all that you can about embracing a holistic health approach for yourself and family, pass what you
learn onto your children. As a parent we can do a much better job of raising
healthy, happy kids if we use an ounce of prevention along with being proactive
and informed about healthy living. We also must practice what we are teaching,
by living well as a healthy role model for our kids. If they see us making exercise a priority, making green smoothies and taking time to relax, they will be much more open to following along! If we take care to plant the seeds of living
well while our children are young, what they learn will serve them very
well in the future. Teaching them how to take care of their precious mind, body and soul is one of greatest gifts we can give our children, and one that will last a lifetime.
Leanne Oaten is a Holistic Counsellor, and Integrative
Wellness Coach. She works one-to- one with people who want to improve their health and make positive changes in their life. She can be reached at 250.319.3630 or www.soulworkcounselling.com
Friday, October 3, 2014
All it takes is a little inner~ shift to change your life!
Do you listen to the whispers and gentle nudges from the universe, and your higher self? Or do you ignore them, and later look back and see that ignoring them was definitely a mistake?
How many times in your life can you recall ignoring that inner voice of wisdom, and realizing later it was trying to protect you?
Perhaps it was a business partnership that you were so excited about, but had that little tug deep within saying "something is off" but you went ahead anyways, just hoping for the best- only to have it end in a negative way, or just not work out how you had hoped?
How about taking on a new commitment despite those inner feelings of discord, only to have it end up being something that you can not manage effectively with your already busy life?
We must learn to trust our inner voice, if we want to live a life of truth and a life that truly is our own. Often we take on things or get into situations for the wrong reasons, and ignore what our truth is trying to communicate to us.
I recently had the pleasure of working with a client who was in a really rough place, and her world had crumbled beneath her feet, and seemingly to her, in a very short period of time. I helped her see that her circumstances did not appear all of a sudden, but were slowly coming toward her over a long period of time, through signs, and intuitive nudges from the universe-urging her to look at her life.
It took an accident and a broken limb, lost relationships, and hitting rock bottom, for her to finally STOP and look at her life!
She was having one Aha! moment after another, and spoke of how she should have trusted her inner voice that was trying to communicate with her.
She was able to experience a positive shift in a short period of time in our working together, that lead her to some deep healing, and inner transformation, simply from learning to tune in.
The other layer to this whole mess we often get into, is that we are so disconnected from our truth, our souls, our bodies and emotions, that we start living an inauthentic existence because we are so disconnected from what we really want and need! We pursue and continue with things because we think we "should" or because it will not look good if we bow out, or our egos get in the way and identify with a certain image we are trying to create, and all of this is not even truly who we are, or what we even want! It's all a mask.
Another way we stay disconnected is by over-filling our schedules, staying attached and 'wired' in with electronic gadgets, phones, texting etc.. We literally become addicted to distraction!
We are disconnected from our body, pain, feelings, inner voice and higher self. We don't even know who we truly are, or what we want or how we feel.
Why do we disconnect from ourselves that way that we do? Here are a few underlying (often unconscious) reasons:
-we are avoiding looking at the truth in our lives- a failing or unhappy marriage for example
-we are avoiding dealing with the past and any trauma or hurt we carry
-we feel discomfort within our own skin, and want to avoid FEELING it.
-We have deep sadness or feelings of loneliness we can not tolerate.
-there is unhealed wounds of the past that have not been processed or acknowledged
-it is just too painful to actually tune in, and feel what is present within
-we are afraid to feel what is present, because we fear our world will fall apart if we do
-We are depressed, stressed and overwhelmed
To connect to that inner wisdom, we must get quiet. For some this is a very uncomfortable thing to do because they have never truly looked within to see what is inside of their hearts, emotions and feelings. To hear what their soul is trying to communicate to them.
I see this so often in my work with my clients, and know this to be true for myself: If we don't stop and pause regularly, tune in to our emotions (soul energy), our inner voice, how we are feeling, and actually listen to what is present- eventually something will happen that will force us to stop and look. Illness and declining health, injury, accidents, relationship problems, our children experiencing problems, repeated random mishaps (such as hot water tank, dishwasher and vehicle transmission needing replaced in short period of time) are all ways the universe intervenes to try and get our attention. If we do not hear the little whispers, they eventually become louder, and louder.
Other big ways might be a partner leaving, friends disappearing, sudden job loss, and so on. Whatever 'it' is, will surely be something that will rattle us within, and force us to stop and look, and hopefully start taking steps in a positive direction, working to change what our soul is calling us to look at.
I see many people through my client work, as well as in daily life that are addicted to chaos and never-ending busyness. I have a radar that goes off when I hear someone telling me how swamped they are, how exhausted and burned out they are, how they don't sleep, how their body is failing, how they have no time for themselves or to focus on making any life changes.
Often their relationships are suffering, and they have a deep void that nothing can ever fill.
On my own journey, the biggest parts of my growth and healing have come from my learning to tune in, connect with myself regularly, develop emotional awareness and awareness of 'self', feeling what is present without judgement, and learning to love myself exactly where I am in every single moment. I believe that the biggest barrier to us having the life that we truly want, full of joy, health, love and positive relationships is our avoidance of connecting within. We have to have a healthy relationship with ourselves first, before we can experience a rich fulfilling and deeply satisfying life.
I encourage you to begin befriending yourself. Take time every single day to just be present with what is, by sitting quietly, alone with eyes closed for a period of time. No t.v, or electronic gadgets, no music, or other distractions, just silence. Listen to what you hear, if you are quiet long enough you will be amazed at what you receive from this time of going within. Begin with 5 minutes in the morning, and 5 minutes before bed, sitting in silence. This simple practice, will change your life.
To enhance this process, keep your journal nearby to free-form write all that you become aware of. I have had some of my biggest epiphanies during and coming out of a meditation! Writing anchors what comes up, and we can later refer to it to see how we are evolving and changing.
Big life changes and inner transformation happen from many little inner-shifts. Change doesn't have to be overwhelming, and you don't have to makeover your entire life right away! Little shifts lead to big and long-term, lasting changes.
I assist people with learning to tune in and heal from within. If you would like to experience a positive shift in your life, please contact me about my packages and upcoming workshops.
Leanne Oaten
Holistic Counselor, Soul-Centered Life Coach
doTERRA Wellness Advocate : http://www.mydoterra.com/mindbodyhealing/
www.soulworkcounselling.com
www.flourishcenter.ca
250-319-3630
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