Looking for the Lesson during illness

~Looking for the Lesson During Illness~

Recently I was knocked down with one of the worst flues I ever recall experiencing. It hit very hard and very quickly. Headache, body-aches, fever, dizziness, cough, and debilitating fatigue. I was reduced to having to lay in bed for 3 straight days, and shut the world off around me. It took over 9 days to begin to see the light and get back to the land of the living.  Clients were cancelled, reports left undone, laundry left to pile up, and all I could do was let it all go, I had no choice! Normally I could push through and keep going..... but definitely not this time.

 I remember thinking at one point, in my state of suffering, "I am so glad this is just the flu, and I am going to get well when it's over."This awareness left me with a deep sense of Gratitude for my health and my life. Some people have to live with chronic, incurable conditions with little hope of regaining full health, I just had a flu. So I focused on that, that was my positive in what felt like a very negative experience.

 I nurtured my body back to health with green juice, lots of water water, herbal tea, and little mini meals to keep me going. I took 5,000IU of vitamin D,  8,000 mg. of vitamin C, Echinacea tincture, and Zinc throughout the duration. I took hot Epsom salt baths twice daily to sweat out the toxins (and survive the body aches which were unbearable at times) and rested as much as possible. I also felt so much appreciation  for my husband who dropped everything in my time of need, and took over with the children and cooking meals when I couldn't carry on.

I am very dedicated to my health and wellness, as you are aware if you have ready my previous posts, and I have always believed that if I controlled what I put in my body, the chemicals I was exposed to, kept my thoughts positive, exercised, drank lots of water, and so on, I would be protected from illness, or at least lessen my chances of becoming sick. For awhile it seemed to be working, but each time I would come down with some sort of virus (usually brought home by the children from school) I would over-analyse it, questioning what I could have done differently, how can I be healthier? Reduce my stress more? Think more positively? Eat more green veggies? Exercise more? Do more Yoga? You get the picture.

While it is important to prioritize our health and wellness, and treat our bodies with respect, we must also realize that it's health and functioning is not always completely within our control. All we can do is our best to live a healthy lifestyle and let go of the rest. Taking care of the mind, body and soul is the best way to achieve balanced health. It is not enough to focus solely on nutrition, or exercise everyday and ignore our thoughts and stress levels. We can do all that is within our power to enjoy life, and treat our bodies well- but illness, and eventual death is something we will never escape. Buddhism teaches that illness, aging, and death are part of the human experience- a truth that we must not ignore or overlook. We must look our greatest fear in the face, and use this knowing- we are not here forever- to make the most of our days while we are still here on this Earth. 

Life is a gift. Health is a gift. And both can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. This is something many people go about their days taking for granted. To be able to go for a run, walk the dog, carry on with our daily activities and experience the wonders of life and love, it is all a gift. We must enjoy the moments as they are given to us, and make the most out of each day. Take care of your body, let go of fears, love the ones who are in your life fully and completely, let go of attachments to everything and anything, live in the moment, be deeply Grateful for your blessings and the good in your life. This may just be the one truth that is the key to happiness! Focus on all that you have. If you are healthy today, say Thank you to the Universe for that. If you are unwell, thank the Universe that you are still alive to see, hear, breathe, touch, feel,  and be with your loved ones. These are truly the simple pleasures of the human experience that make life meaningful. 

After 9 days now...I am happy to be on the mend, and feeling huge Gratitude and appreciation for my body, and it's ability to heal. I am looking forward to getting into outdoor running again now that the snow is leaving, and Spring is just around the corner. Life is good, and I am happy to be well again!

Wishing you abundant health and happiness....and a quick recovery if you are sick too!

~Leanne

www.soulworkcounselling.com

There are no accidents, or coincidences. What is Synchronicity?

Ever wonder if was 'just a coincidence?' 
Or maybe, something more?

"There are no accidents in the universe... or in our lives"

WHAT IS SYNCHRONICITY?

Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events which are causally unrelated occurring together in a  meaningful manner. In order to be synchronous, the events should be unlikely to occur together by random chance

This is one of many universal laws or truths that can never be proven for sure. And yet, there are far too many stories about people who have had mysterious forces miraculously enter or guide their lives when they least expected it. If we really look at it closely, coincidences in our lives are far too common. As they begin to accumulate over the years, our minds begin to open to new possibilities. That maybe, just maybe, they are more than random happenings.

What is a synchronous event? It's an experience or circumstance that comes into our life when we least expect it to happen. What sets these mysterious happenings apart is that they are always unplanned and unexpected. A blind date that leads to life partnership, an unexpected phone call that pulls us away from tragedy, a job opportunity that suddenly opens, a gift of money when we need it most, a dream that turns out to be true, an unexpected admissions to a college we never thought would happen, are just a few examples.

These happenings can occur on a large, medium or small scale. I like to think of the large ones as events, which have a major impact on our lives. This can be a long-term relationship with someone, a crippling accident that leads to a life-time challenge, an unexpected book from a friend that opens up a life-changing spiritual quest for us, and so on.

The medium synchronous events are more for course corrections that lead us to the major ones or help the major ones unfold smoothly and successfully. For example, an unexpected salary bonus (medium) that allows us to take a vacation (medium) during which we find a lifetime partner (major), or a new business venture, (major) or
decide to change jobs and move to another part of the country (major), are a few examples. The small events are more for fine- tuning the whole process and are also very important.

Curiously, these unexpected gifts of guidance often drop in out of the universe to influence our thoughts or impact the direction that our lives may take when we least expect them. Whenever this happens, our free will is never violated in the process. While in body, we always have the choice to react to these events, regardless of size, the way we want to.

Where do these events come from? How do they happen? Why do they happen? Do they have a purpose? What is the force that makes them happen?

- Nothing happens by accident in the universe or our lives.

- Thus, there is no such thing as a coincidence.

- Prior to coming to this planet we create a life-plan.

- That plan is made with free will. Nobody forces it on us.

- Our life-plan is made after we review our previous lives and experiences.

- The more evolved we are the more our life-plan centres around spiritual growth and service to others.

- We may want to learn patience, forgiveness, compassion, during our next life.

- Or we may want to experience being blind, poor, rich, etc.

- Our guardian angels/sprit guides know our plan.

- Synchronous events often come when we least expect them.

- That's what makes them synchronous.

- When an unexpected event occurs, we still react to each with free will.

- It is also possible to overrule parts or all of our plan while on Earth.

- However, overruling our original plan is not the wisest choice. It creates confusion in our lives.

- Certain events will occur in our lives when we planned for them to happen.

- While in body we are constantly making choices and creating our reality.

- This too is done with free will.

- And yet, there is "something" going on in the background of life.

- This something provides the guidance we need for our plan to unfold.

- This influence is happening at a higher level and for good purpose

- That purpose is to keep us on course as it relates to our earthly plan.

- Another purpose is to provide us ongoing guidance in our lives.- Many events also make us happy such as finding past-lifetime friends.

- If we ask Spirit (and our angels) for guidance, the help is sure to come.

- We need to learn how to listen for and to the guidance.

- Pay special attention to any event or clue that happens three or more times.

- Look for patterns and repeated themes within the event(s).

- Often times the messages we receive are symbolic and we need to decipher them.

- If things fall into place, as if by magic, most likely you're on the right path.

- If you meet resistance or dead-ends, reconsider the choice you have made.

Here's a simple way to look at past events that have mysteriously come into your life as unplanned or unexpected experiences. These events may have been based upon some form of guidance such as a strong hunch, a powerful or compelling thought that came into your mind, a voice that spoke to you, a dream that you had, a synchronous event, and so on.
Draw a line across a piece of paper. This is your life time-line. Let's say it represents the past 20 years of your life. Go to the beginning (to the left of the line). Put a mark through the line and an event underneath the mark that had a major impact on your life or the direction it took. And, most importantly, came about unexpectedly, without your planning it. Do this until you reach current time. Then think about how it all came to be.

A hypothetical time-line might be...

- you are suffering from an unrewarding and abusive marriage (1990)

- you get divorced (1991)

- you lose your job (1991)

- you are in major crisis (1991)

- everything you do to try to find a new job doesn't work out (guidance can often be through negative experiences and events)

Then...

- a book given to you by a friend leads to a radical spiritual awakening (1992)

- unexpectedly an old friend calls, a wonderful job opens in Arizona (1993)

- you interview for job, it goes well and you are hired  (1993)

- you move to Arizona (1993)

- everything goes smoothly for you (guidance that you are on the right path)

Then...

- a blind date in Arizona leads to a fulfilling relationship and life-time partnership (1994)

- and so onWhen we reflect on the unexpected events and guidance that comes into our lives on a regular basis, these kinds of divine, mysterious experiences should truly make us think and wonder what's behind them.

One can take this simple exercise a bit further by isolating one of the major events in your life and then reconstructing the medium and minor events that helped the major one fall into place and unfold smoothly.
Whenever we ask Spirit or our angels for guidance in our lives, whether it has to do with a relationship, a job, a failing marriage, sickness, etc. the answer will come. That is guaranteed.

Look for clues, patterns and things that seem to materialize out of nowhere, but are related to your question. Look for messages that are symbolic, or the words of a song that pop up after asking God or your angels a question. Watch out for an unexpected phone call, finding an old letter or picture, actually hearing a voice in your head, a dream that is related to your question, a vision that appears in your head while meditating, are a few examples. Be alert for medium or major synchronous events that unexpectedly unfold.

Always keep in mind that, when things go smoothly and fall into place, you have most likely made the right choice and the right event has come into your life. When our decisions or efforts run into resistance or roadblocks, seriously re-examine the choices you have made or the false alarm, guiding event that has come into your life. Correct guidance is always loving and has our best interests in mind. The wrong guidance generally arouses feelings of fear or guilt.

Hopefully, all of this makes you think and wonder about these magnificent ways that not only guide and influence our lives, but also help us understand our life-plan.

We are never left alone. Never.

(author unknown)

Starting your day off right: Nourish your body with a healthy breakfast, and your mind with good thoughts!

 When  you awaken, fill your mind with Awesome thoughts!

It has been said that how you begin your day, sets the tone for how the rest of your day will progress. If you start your day off thinking dreadful thoughts the moment you open your eyes, and proceed to grumble and snap at everyone around you, it is very likely that your day will continue based on that level of energy. You will attract experiences and people based on your energetic vibration- which is basically the thoughts you think, and the energy you put out into the Universe! 

If, however, you choose to think good thoughts when you open your eyes, and be thankful that you have another full day to live on this Earth, be Grateful for the warm home you have, the coffee machine that makes your delicious morning java, your kids as you kiss them goodbye and send them off to school, the car you have to drive you to where you need to go, the job you have to go to that affords you all the necessities to live, you will attract more good people and experiences into your day, because you are focusing on the good in your life. 

Start your day with a nutritious, wholesome breakfast.

This is just as important as beginning your day thinking good thoughts. If you skip breakfast, or eat something on the fly that doesn't sustain you or provide you with energy, you will set yourself up for a later morning crash. This can result in low blood sugar, headache, moodiness, fatigue and the desire to reach for more coffee, sugar or simple carbohydrates. When the day begins like this, the cycle continues and leads to blood sugar imbalances, and possibly other health issues later down the road.

 I always teach my clients what my Naturopath told me many years ago, and have continued to live by ever since: Eat about 15 grams of quality protein with your breakfast everyday. When you begin your day in this way, you stabilize your blood sugar, fire up your metabolism and keep everything humming along as it should be.

Some suggestions:

~1/2 cup cooked Quinoa porridge with added nut and seeds. Quinoa has protein and other nutrients that make it a good choice for a hot cereal base. When you add in chia, hemp, sunflower, and pumpkin seeds and other nuts, you increase the protein content, and are also getting the healthy fats to keep you full longer.
I always have a batch of cooked Quinoa in the fridge, and all I have to do is reheat some in a pot with nut or soy milk, throw in some chia and hemp seeds, a pinch of nutmeg and cinnamon and some slivered almonds and it is very delicious and satisfying. This only takes about 5 minutes to prepare, so is super easy on busy mornings.

~2 eggs contain about 14 grams of protein. Pair it with some fruit or sprouted grain toast and you're good to go.

~A fruit smoothie with protein powder. There are many to choose from based on your taste. My favorite is the Vega One Vanilla Chai which contains other nutrients and vitamins and 15 grams of protein. If you tolerate whey powder, this is a good option as well. Try to find a good quality product with no unnecessary additives or artificial sweeteners.

~ 2 slices of sprouted grain bread with nut butter. These breads are much more nutritious than the refined white or whole wheat varieties, and contain around 5 grams of protein per slice. Add nut butter and you are done!

These are just some ideas to get you started, it doesn't matter what you eat as long as it is nutritious, preferably not in a package and processed (AKA boxed cereals) is low in sugar and contains at least 15 grams of protein. Get creative, and get into making yourself a good breakfast every day, fill your mind with good thoughts and just see if it makes a positive difference in your day!

~Leanne

Healthy Natural Weight loss: A Holistic approach to a healthy body weight

Weight loss. The weight loss industry consisting of fitness trainers, magic "diet plans" , gimmick shakes, and plans that calculate your allotted calories for the day, and so many more companies make money off of  people in a desperate state of trying to lose unhealthy excess body weight. The truth is, that it's not really about losing weight. It is, but it isn't. Yes, carrying around access body fat, in all the wrong places (midsection being the most unhealthy) is dangerous to our health and well~being  and can have an affect on how we feel about ourselves, and how we feel physically. Carrying too much weight can make exercise a challenge, and the reasons behind the weight gain can also cause low energy levels so it can be a vicious cycle! So for these health reasons, it is essential to shed unwanted inches if you want to attain vibrant health.

I feel the need to add another simple fact here that some are not aware of. If you are getting 20-30 mins of cardiovascular exercise 3-4 times per week and add resistance training (body weight exercises, lifting weights, yoga) into your regular routine, over time you will be gaining muscle and losing fat.

Remember: Fat weighs less than muscle, so as you slim down and shed body fat, you may not actually see it reflected on the scale. My advice? Ditch the scale, and focus on how your clothes feel, and how you are feeling, and of course, be proud of the changes in your appearance-(but please be kind to yourself, make sure what you are telling yourself about how you look in the mirror is loving and positive!)  Taking regular measurements is a more accurate way to track progress, if you are a person that likes to see results in numbers!

To be clear, when I say 'weight gain', it's just a nicer way of saying 'fat gain'. Let's face it, we all know we don't really care about what the numbers on the scale tell us, if we are feeling good, and looking fabulous! It's the body fat you want to lose, not necessarily just the weight itself, right?

 Back to what I was saying before....to remedy a weight problem, most people focus on losing the weight (based on numbers on the scale). But, what it is truly about, is getting healthy from the inside out, so that the unhealthy body fat you may be carrying, is released naturally as a side affect of the body being in balance.

If the weight gain can be looked at as a side affect of an unhealthy body, or an imbalance from within, we can then start to work at changing the habits, behaviors and patterns that lead to the condition in the first place. Quick fix plans, and diet pills do nothing to fix the underlying issues that lead to unhealthy patterns. Research proves that when weight is lost from dieting or the latest fad weight loss plan, the weight often comes back, because the unhealthy patterns that contributed to the weight gain, are still there, and old habits return along with the weight that may have been lost.

The solution is building healthy lifestyle habits into your daily life- permanently. What you do every day matters more than what you do once in awhile, or for 10 days or 6 weeks. If it is not something you can realistically carry on with, and is not sustainable over time- it is a waste of time!

I am speaking from personal experience, and this information I will share with you is based on my experience, and extensive research on the subject. Please note: Talk to your doctor before making any changes to your current health regimen. If you are currently sedentary, and have not exercised for a period of time, or have current health issues, you should check with your doctor before beginning an exercise program, or making changes to your diet.

My tips for a healthy body weight and vibrant health:

Nutrition: Focus on QUALITY not QUANTITY: No weight loss advice would ever be complete without a focus on nutrition. Notice I say nutrition, not calorie counting, and measuring food. Been there, done that, and there is a better, easier, less stressful way! When you are eating abundant amounts of fresh fruits and veggies, you do not need to count calories. Eat less animal products (dairy, red meat) and put more emphasis on plant foods. This has been the biggest revelation I have made on my journey to becoming healthy and full of vitality. Smoothies, juicing vegetables, lots of salads, and veggie loaded homemade soups, fruit for snacks are all ways to put the focus on plant foods.

 Protein is important too, so make sure you are eating lean sources of protein with your meals and snacks. Eggs, whey protein powder, Greek yogurt, and chicken breast are all healthy sources of lean animal protein. If you are vegetarian, raw nuts/seeds, vegan protein shake powders, nut butters, whole grain (sprouted) breads if you are  not Gluten intolerant, beans, lentils are all good sources of plant protein. Preferably, all animal products and produce should be organic for obvious reasons.

Sugar and white, processed foods are the enemy to any health and weight loss goals. Pop (that

includes Diet varieties!), candy, cookies, pastries, white anything (bread,pasta,rice,sugar), packaged and boxed convenience foods are all on the 'nasties' list, so eat these foods as little as possible. It is unrealistic to try to avoid these foods at all costs, so just be mindful that they are not the foods our bodies thrive on, so be kind to your body by feeding it foods that keep it healthy and feeling great!

Exercise. Not too much, not too little. Make time for it most days of the week doing something you enjoy that gets your heart rate up, and strengthens and builds muscle. Lift weights, take a Pilates or Yoga class, dance, or other fitness classes available in your area. Invest in a treadmill and you will have no excuse on rainy days to skip your exercise! This is one of the best investments I have ever made. My favorite cardio workout is interval training or (HIIT). I alternate between sprinting and recovery periods of walking or jogging for 20-25 mins tops, 1-2 times/ week. HIIT is proven to burn more fat/calories than walking or jogging at a steady pace for the same amount of time, and has more cardiovascular benefits. I round it out with a quick strength training session, or some Yoga and a stretch and I'm done in about an hour. Shorter more intense sessions are more effective than longer ones, so no excuses. You can make time for a short workout!

Avoid toxins in your environment and in the foods you eat. Eat organic as much as possible. Avoid toxic house hold cleaners and body care products. Buy a juicer or good high speed blender and start drinking your veggies as juicing has a detoxifying affect on the body. I recommend the 3 day juicing detox suggested from the "Foodmatters" website. I love all of the ideas behind what they teach. If you are feeling really adventurous, head to the bookstore and buy their new book "Hungry for Change" based on the documentary. It is full of information about this topic, and healthy juicing and food recipes. It is one of my favorite health books right now. If you have not watched the 2 movies "Food Matters" and "Hungry for Change" I highly recommend you do. They are incredible!

Watch a trailer for the movie here: http://www.foodmatters.tv/

Stress management is essential for overall health and weight loss. High cortisol levels (from chronically elevated stress levels) cause fat to accumulate around the middle, and can lead to many other serious health conditions over time. We can not avoid stress, only our perception of it, and how we manage our feelings of overwhelm. Incorporate stillness and relaxation into your day every day, optimally throughout the day to release any tension you are carrying, change your thoughts around stressful circumstances  look for the positive in any situation, focus on Gratitude.  

 "There is not such thing as stress, 

only people thinking stressful thoughts"

~Dr. Wayne Dyer

Heal emotionally, release the past and move into the present. Carrying around hurt, resentment, and negative feelings from the past is toxic to your health. Forgive those that need forgiving, and release any negative emotions you have toward others, and past experiences. This also leads me to Emotional Eating, and disordered eating patterns, which are emotionally related. These issues must be worked through, or results will be limited. Most people do not think to connect emotional health to physical health and weight loss, but the Mind/Body connection is undeniable. You are what you think. Your health is related to what you think. The state of your well-being is related to what you think, and how you feel emotionally. So work with a qualified counselor to bring healing to these areas of your life. Unhealed emotions can be at the root for emotional eating patterns, and self medicating with food or alcohol (both of which will limit weight loss results.)

Look for signs you are struggling with Emotional Eating which can also hinder weight-loss efforts. 

Hormone Imbalances: When our hormones are out of whack it creates havoc within the whole body. One hormone out of balance causes all others to become imbalanced as well. For example chronic stress can eventually cause the adrenals to fatigue, and cortisol levels to become depleted. To try and remain balanced the body starts to take from our progesterone stores and leads to low progesterone which can affect multiple systems in the body. One of those areas is inability to lose weight no matter how hard we try to eat right and exercise and deal with all of the above. Using bio-identical natural hormone replacement (not synthetic forms!) can compliment all of the other efforts to bring the body back into balance. The best way to have these hormones tested is through a naturopath who can order saliva testing.

Combining all of these important areas together, will result in a natural, permanent weight loss and will improve your life on so many levels. Weight gain is only a small part of the problem, and is a side affect to a body out of balance. Bring the body into balance, where it wants to be, and the weight will melt away with ease. It doesn't need to be complicated or stressful! No calorie counting, no extreme diets or intensive workout plans. Just sensible nutrition, exercise and caring for your mental and emotional health!

We must first love ourselves enough to only treat our bodies with the care and appreciation it deserves. The rest will fall into place as we learn this important life lesson, and learn to take care of our Mind, Body & Soul!

~Leanne

Registered Holistic Counsellor (R.P.C)

Wellness Coach

For assistance with developing your personalized plan and holistic approach to weight loss and overall health, please feel free to contact me via phone or email. You can also visit my website to join me wellness E-News, and grab a copy of my FREE Women's guide while you are there.

P: 250-319-3630

E:  soulworkcounselling@yahoo.ca

View my website:  www.leanneoaten.com

Letting go~ and moving into the present moment

In pondering what to write about today, I came across this photo, which inspired this blog post.

Often when we are feeling weighed down by life, and feel stuck and unable to move forward, it means we need to assess areas that may need 'clearing', in order to move in to the present moment. We need to envision where we want to be, by visualizing in detail what we want in our lives, setting the intention and letting go, trusting and allowing the Universe to take care of the details. Have you ever allowed yourself to truly ponder the thought: What do I truly want for myself and my life?

I am asked often in my counselling practice, by clients, how to know what it is that is bringing them down, keeping them stuck, or preventing them from moving forward.Unfortunately, there is not a one line answer to this question, as connecting to these awareness-es looks different for everybody. Only YOU know what [or whom] is holding you back, weighing you down, draining your energy, making you sick, depressed or anxious.

Often times, this 'heaviness' is linked to the people in our lives. These can be family members, friends, co-workers, your spouse...anyone you come in to contact with that drains your positive energy, brings you down, cuts you down, complains, is un-supportive, makes you feel badly about yourself, throws insults, and so on. It is important to connect with your intuition here, your gut instinct and inner voice- and get clear about who these 'heavy' people are. Ask yourself these questions when you consider the people you are close with, or spend time with currently on a regular basis.
 Do you feel worse, or better after having spent time with this person? Does this person make you feel at ease, or on edge? Comfortable or on guard? What is their energy like? Heavy and toxic, or vibrant, positive and upbeat?

Once we become clearer about who these individuals are that suck the life out of us, then we can decide whether to cut them out of our life entirely, or just limit the amount of time spent around them. Sometimes, it means saying goodbye to relationships that no longer serve our Highest good.
It's also important to note that seeking out, and increasing time spent with people that choose to look at the bright side, are encouraging, supportive and a joy to be around is only going to improve your outlook in life, because we tend to take on the energies, viewpoints and thinking patterns of the company we keep! Something to be aware of for sure.

I must touch on this, although this could be a whole blog in itself. When looking at our current life circumstances, sometimes it is the way we are thinking and perceiving the situation that keeps things from moving forward. Our negative thinking patterns can most definitely weigh us down! If you have ever seen somebody (or know of somebody) that always looks unhappy, you can be almost sure they are not thinking good thoughts! They look heavy, like the weight of the world is on their shoulders, their energy is so heavy you can feel it. Thinking good thought makes you look good, and feel good! A positive mood shift is just one new thought away! When you think good thoughts, you radiate good vibes and attract more positive people and circumstances to you effortlessly.

Another area we can get bogged down with is unhealed pain from the past. This can be from childhood, adolescent years, all the way up to where we are at this point. Have you worked through the tough stuff by acknowledging it, working through it accepting it and letting it go? Have you forgiven those that have wronged you, hurt you, betrayed you, left you, violated you, taken advantage of you or abused you?
If the answer to this is no, then perhaps it is time to begin dealing with the unfinished business of the past, to fully move in to the present and look to the future. Once this 'stuff' has be processed and cleared, life is so much more beautiful and effortless!

Some ways to work through and release the weight of your past are: Talking to a qualified professional counsellor you trust- and are comfortable with, joining a support group that suits where you are in your life, talking to a few select friends you trust, journal-ling,  having a difficult conversion (s) with those that have hurt you, if it is possible, letter writing therapy, crying when you need to cry and acknowledging that you have the right to feel how you feel about whatever it is that has affected you so deeply.

 Simplified, the stages to healing are Acknowledgment (awareness), Processes-sing (working through) and  Acceptance of what happened, and  moving forward with the knowing that it all occurred to get you to where you are today, and has shaped the person you have become. The great news is that we can always CHOOSE to move into the present and not allow the past to define us today. Each day is a chance of renewal, change, and new choices. Choose to look at every day as a new beginning to make positive changes in your life. Seek out what makes your heart sing, and your soul fly. Choose to drop that which weighs you down and holds you back from living to your highest potential.



~Leanne

Developing skillful communication

Never underestimate the power of the spoken word.

Words have the power to inspire, uplift, encourage, comfort and validate.They also have the power to cause deep emotional pain and suffering and can cause profound psychological damage. We must choose our words wisely and be mindful of what comes out of our mouths.

 In Buddhist terms this is called "right speech" or "skillful speech" and has five marks: "It is speech that is timely, truthful, gentle, purposeful. and spoken with a mind of loving-kindness." 

Before you speak, first become aware of your intention for saying what you want to say. Focus on why you want to speak, and what you want to say, get connected to what is going on within. Are there negative or positive intentions? 

Use the THINK formula if in doubt: Is it True? Is it Helpful? Is it Inspiring? Is it Necessary? Is it Kind?

If everybody continually developed the skill of mindful speech, just imagine the ways in which things would change in the world we live in. Aside from looking at it from a Global perspective, how would using "skillful speech" affect your most important relationships? How would it improve your marriage? Your relationship with your children? Your friendships? How would it change how you relate to your co-workers and everyone else around you that you come into contact with? 

If we can stop in the face of conflict or a heated moment and check in with ourselves as to what we are feeling, and respond purposefully and mindfully, we avoid the tendency to react or say or do things we will later regret (and can not take back) that may offend another. The more we can develop the skill of pausing and thinking through our intentions, and what we really want to say to another, the less we will find ourselves in conflict situations.

If you would like to make some steps toward developing this skill, here are some ways you can get started:

• If you are in a conflict with another person (in the moment) and feel it getting heated STOP and take a time out. This takes a huge amount of self-control and is not always easy to do when you want to have the last word, but doing this allows for things to cool down so you can think through what you want to say. Come back to the conversation after the cooling off period, and speak about your own experience. Avoid using "you always", "you never" statements, and instead use assertive communication with this dialogue:  "I feel [ insert feeling] because [explain how you are being affected] what I really want to happen is [state your desired outcome] because [explain why this is important to you]

• Check in with yourself to see what your intentions are before you speak. If they are positive and come from a place of caring and love, say it. If they are to hurt, or insult or cause suffering, or bring someone else down-keep it to yourself! When our position is based on sound reasoning and logic we can speak quietly and calmly. If it is based on personal desire, then we will likely find ourselves raising our voice and becoming aggressive in our tone. If our point is well grounded there is no need for aggression or annoyance, and we are able to speak without offending the other person, or escalating the conflict.

• Stop and reflect on who owns what part of the situation. Ask yourself "what is my part in this?" and own up to it. In any situation, we always own a part of the problem.  It does no good to point fingers and place all the blame on another, because it takes two to tango!

• Let go of your attachment to a desired outcome. If you have something to say to someone, say it using the tips above, but with the intention to be heard and to say your piece, not to manipulate or control the others response or the outcome. All we can be responsible for is our own behavior, how the other responds is there own responsibility.

As you can see, speaking mindfully, with skill and calmness takes great practice and tremendous strength, and speaking harshly with aggression and hostility is a sign of weakness. It is easy to think that if you are yelling and pushing others around you are being 'tough' but in reality it takes great strength and skill to have control of the mind, and the spoken word. It doesn't happen overnight, but with the right intention and constant mindfulness it becomes easier with practice. Choose your words wisely, and the rest will follow!

Leanne

Stay healthy this coming flu season- Strengthen your Immune system!

September, and back-to-school brings more potential for illnesses and the spread and exposure of many different viruses along with it. Being indoors, and in confined areas for long periods of time (in classrooms for example) -where our kids pick up germs and bring them home- to us!- leads to an increase in illness over the Fall and Winter months. It may seem as thought there is nothing you can do about this, and some will say that kids need to get sick, and it is how they strengthen there immature immune systems. There is some truth to that, and of course, we can not prevent all illness completely; however we can improve the odds against scumming to the virus in the first place, by keeping our immune system humming and ready to fight the next cold, or flu virus that we are exposed to.

There is the theory that we are constantly exposed to many different viruses on a daily basis, and if our body is in balance- through taking proper care to stay healthy- we are better able to fight off the virus, or at least reduce the severity of the symptoms and duration if we do get sick. If we are out-of- balance, stressed, working too hard or too much, overexercising, under-exercising, eating junk food, and not taking time for relaxation and enjoyment, we become run down and more susceptible to getting sick. If we make it a top priority take good are ourselves, illness becomes a rare occurrence. I have seen this be proved true, by making some changes in our family lifestyle, and am happy to say, we rarely get sick in our house, compared to past years when it seemed like we were passing different viruses around to each other every month.

Here are some tips I believe contribute to a healthy immune system. If any of these suggestions jump out at you, it's worth a try to see if it works! Keep in mind, most of these tips apply to children and teens as well.
Note: These suggestions are based on my personal experience and opinions and should not be taken as medical advice. Talk to your healthcare professional before making any changes to your current health regime.


1) What you put in your body:  Eat a low sugar, low junk (processed) food diet. Increase your fruit and vegetable intake. Drink lots of purified water throughout the day, and snack on healthy foods such as raw nuts and seeds. Just minimizing the processed sugar- loaded foods and beverages in your diet can make a huge difference in your health, and immune system function!

Supplements that strengthen immune function: (this is only a small list, there are endless options available,  but I find sticking to a few good ones, taken daily, works best and keeps it simple)

Vitamin C (kids can take chew-able tablets) I highly recommend any of the books listed here if you want to learn how vitamins can help keep you healthy: http://www.doctoryourself.com/vitamincure.html
Vitamin D3 (I take 5000IU / day, but talk to your physician or a Naturopath about what is right for you)
Moducare (available at health food stores) is a plant sterol that claims to strengthen immune function and reduce allergy symptoms.
Multi-Vitamin Find a good brand without fillers and synthetic ingredients.
Acidophilus- Keeps healthy bacteria in balance in the gut.
Healthy Fats: There are many versions and ways to get these healthy fats. A fish oil supplement is one of the best, but there are lots of plant based products available as well.




2) How much you move your body: Our bodies are meant to be active, not sitting in a chair all day long. Find chunks of time throughout your day to move your body. Go for a walk, stretch, do housework, take the stairs, park 2 blocks away from your destination and walk briskly to and from, take a class. Of course a structured work out routine is encouraged. Aim for a minimum of 30 minutes 5 days/ week. It all adds up. If you have a busy day, do a higher intensity session for 20 minutes, then fit in a brisk walk for 10-15 minutes after dinner! If you make it a priority, you will always find a way to fit it in.

3) What you put in your mind: Try to stay positive, and be around uplifting, positive people. Being in a constant state of negativity creates an imbalance in the body which weakens the immune system. Think good thoughts, speak positive words and surround yourself with others who do the same. Try to set an example for your children by showing them how to look for the bright side in every situation.

4) How you manage stress and balance your life: Make time every
 day to do something relaxing or enjoyable. Balance your life so that you are not focusing too much on one aspect. Balancing work, family, self-care, time with friends, and time alone is so important to overall health and well-being. Being overwhelmed all the time is no way to live life...make yourself a priority, because likely nobody else is going to!

5) How much you sleep: Aim to get 7-8 hours every night. I am sure you already know this one, but just wanted to include it because it is so important. If you are feeling wired at bedtime and can't settle down, (even with good "sleep hygiene" practices) talk to your doctor about taking Melatonin to help make you sleepy. It is safer than taking a prescribed sleeping pill, and is non-habit forming.

And obviously, proper and regular hand washing is a must! Teach your kids to wash before every meal, and especially right when they get home from school.

Incorporating some or all of these suggestions into your family life will improve your overall well-being that goes far beyond a healthy immune system. As I always say, when the body is in balance, everything flows beautifully and almost effortlessly.

Have an awesome healthy week!

Leanne