Radical Self~Care: Prioritize yourself, because nobody else is going to!

 

 

 

 

 

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire

universe, deserve your love and affection."

-Buddha

 

 

 Perhaps it may seem a little harsh for me to assume that everyone in your life does not prioritize you, and put you first. If you are one of those lucky people, and you have someone or several others in your life, who put your needs before their own, then you are truly blessed! Express deep gratitude and appreciation for these people in your life often.

For most of us though, the reality is that nobody is going to force us to take time to care for ourselves. While our loved ones and others in our life may love us, and have the best intentions, they are not going to cook us healthy meals, drive us to the gym, push us out the door for a run, and plan a weekend getaway for us to have some solitude. Our parents are not likely going to step in and offer to take the kids so we can go have some time for ourselves, or a date night with our partner. Our partner is not likely to say "I'll take the kids for the day, go have a massage and pedicure, you deserve it", and our kids are not going to say, "Thank you Mommy, for all of your hard work, you deserve a break today!" You are responsible for taking good care of yourself. Most of the time, if we need something, we either need to ask somebody to assist us in making it happen, or we need to take responsibility for making it happen ourselves.


There may be times when the people in our lives do recognize all that we do, and want to help, or do something nice to acknowledge our efforts, however; from my experience, and what I have seen as a common thread among many women I work with, and some of my closest friends, time for themselves seems to be lacking. Many of us feel deprived of time to ourselves, doing what we love. We have to make ourselves a priority and honor, and value ourselves enough to make caring for our own health and well-being top priority- because if we wait for someone else to come long and do it for us, we may wait forever.

When we blame on others, or our circumstances for not having any time forourselves, we are giving our personal power away, which leaves us feeling powerless in our own lives.

Own your power, and reclaim your life- take total responsibility and ownership for your life, and wherever you may find yourself right now, and look for ways that you can begin infusing change and making yourself a priority.

 Caring for ourselves is not selfish, it is self-preservation, and

Self~love, is not selfish or arrogant. It is not saying you are better than anyone else, but that you value, and love and accept yourself for who you are, and demonstrate this by how you care for yourself, how you allow others to treat you, and how you treat others. 

 Self~ love, and self~care, are essential pieces to the wellness puzzle, and must become the foundation for all that we do, and choose not to do, in honor of caring for ourselves. For each individual this will be different, as we all have very unique needs, and are filled up in different ways.

 Here is an exercise that is fun, and creative to get you started. Write a self-care manifesto! This will be your foundation, and your grounding center, that will guide you in every decision, every choice and every action you take on a daily basis.

The way I look at it, is that I only have one shot at this life, my children only have one Mother, and I want to be the healthiest, best version of myself, so that I am healthy and vital to see them grow up. I picture myself being a youthful grandma, running around with my grand kids someday, and traveling with my husband once the kids are grown. I want to be self sufficient, and continue to live a life free of medical interventions and prescription drugs by caring for myself now, while I am young. So, to live out my vision, I must be in alignment with these desires and intentions, by practicing radical self-care NOW, and always, so that I am healthy and able to continue to live an awesome life, as I age.

My self~ care manifesto 

~I choose every single day, to always do my very best in each moment, to honor, love and cherish myself enough to put my needs first, for I know that if I do not fill myself up first, I will have nothing to give to those around me.

 

~If I am tired or feeling tense or stressed, I will stop what I am doing, and take a rest, or at least 5 minutes to breathe in silence.

 

~If I am hungry, I will eat. I will always strive to feed my body with love. If I veer off the path, and eat something that makes me feel guilty, or unhealthy- I will let it go,  forgive myself quickly, and get back on track with the next meal or snack.

 

~I will choose to focus on all that I am grateful for, because I know that when I do, I feel more joyful and happy.

 

~I will always take good care of my body, by listening to what it is trying to tell me, feeding it healthy foods, exercising it regularly, taking my vitamins and herbs, and drinking lots of water.

 

~I will stay tuned~in, listen , and trust my intuition as guidance in all that I do.

 

~If I need a break, I will ask a friend or my partner to take the kids so I can tend to my own needs, and relase any guilt I may feel about it.

 

~I will move my body in ways that feel good to me, and when I am tired or unwell, I will skip intense exercise, and walk or do some yoga instead.

 

~I spend time only with those people that lift my spirits higher, whom I trust fully, and who accept me fully for who I am.

 

~I will not say yes to a request, unless I am certain it is something I truly want to do, and will not say yes to avoid disappointing another, for I know that this will only lead to resentment toward the person I am saying yes to, and also know, that I am only betraying myself when I ignore my truth.

 

~I will speak up when I need to express what is going on within, and I release the attachment to how it is perceived or how the person responds, for I can only control my own actions and words, and know that how the other responds to my words, and actions is their Karma- not mine.

 

~I will set healthy boundaries with others, and make it clear what those boundaries are. (For example: I do not take client calls on the weekends, unless it is an emergency, or if someone speaks to me in  way that is offensive or doesn't feel right, I will let them know it is not OK with me to be spoken to in that way).

 

~If I am feeling emotional, and need to have a good old crying episode, even if I do not know what I am actually crying about, I will allow myself time to feel my feelings, for I know when I do, it will pass and clear much quicker, than if I carry on, ignore, and stuff my true feelings. 

 

~I will never put my needs on the button rung ever again.

 

 I love myself way too much to ever devalue my needs, ignore my inner voice, and treat my body in unloving ways. I have learned the hard way, what happens when I put myself last, and I choose not to go there ever again. I will revise and add to this manifesto as life carries on, and make my self top priority always, because I know I deserve it!

Have fun creating your own manifesto, frame it, hang it somewhere visible, and look at it often. Allow this to be your personal set of 'instructions for living'. Make it your own, and  think big! This is your  life, and you as much as anybody else deserve your own love and approval. You deserve happiness, and vital health! If you do not make yourself a priority, who else is going to do it for you?


Yours in health, and gratitude,

~Leanne Oaten, R.P.Cc
Holistic Counsellor, Wellness Leader
www.soulworkcounselling.com

How stressed out are you? Some tips to help you relax

 STRESS. We all have it, we can not always avoid it, but we can do a lot to manage it, by taking action, building self- awareness, and learning to create more balance in our lives.

Stress becomes toxic when it is chronic and ongoing. When the demands put upon us, 

outweigh the reserves we have available within us to effectively manage what is required of us.

 Most people are functioning with a high level of chronic stress, and the worst part is, they often aren't even aware that what they are experiencing in their lives through physical, emotional, and mental illness, is likely being caused by, or being made worse by chronic, out of control stress levels. For more on this read: Stress and your health

One of the first things we can do to begin to manage our stress levels, is to become more aware of our symptoms, mood, relationships, happiness and the state of our health.

Opening our minds to the truth that stress is toxic, and can make us sick, tired and  unhappy is the first place to begin.

Once we become more connected, and tuned~ in to our mind/body connection, from that place we can get curious about what is behind our pain, be it, emotional, physical, or mental symptoms.

For me, I know when I am feeling stressed, (along with a million thoughts, ideas, and to-do's racing around in my mind),  is that my breathing becomes shallow, I get tight in my chest, and my back between my shoulders begins to ache. I have also noticed, that it is only during certain times of the day (usually the end of the day) and when I am feeling overwhelmed, tired and in need of some quiet time. With this awareness, I now take 5 minutes- or more if I can- and lay down, do some deep breathing and reset. I can then return to whatever I was doing before, feeling more grounded, and peaceful. I have also learned, that practicing extreme self-care daily to stay balanced, is essential in managing my day to day stress levels.

Here is my 3 step plan for stress management:

1. Awareness. Get tuned in to your body's signals. Take note of what is happening for you. Do you get a headache on days you have too much to do? Does your back ache when your endless list of to-dos are running around in your mind? Do you get a stomach ache when you are in conflict with someone? Do you become "worried sick"? That figure of speech actually carries a lot of truth! We definitely can worry ourselves sick.

2. Turn on the relaxation response. As soon as you become aware of your triggers, and the way your body speaks to you, it is time to do something that turns on the relaxation response. Some suggestions for alternative treatments to stress are below, but simply removing yourself from the stressful situation, going somewhere quiet, and engaging in some breath work/relaxation techniques, and re- framing any thought patterns that are creating the stress response, are all that is needed in the moment.

3. Do a 'mind-dump'. Write down everything that is weighing on your mind, either in a journal, or a sheet of paper...let it just flow out onto the page, without analyzing or judging it. Swear if you must, write whatever comes to mind. Taking it out of your head, and putting it on paper is very therapeutic, and allows you to release some of the thoughts rattling around in your head. You will be amazed at how effective this is! If you have a way to safely burn the writing, this is a very powerful and therapeutic practice.

One last thought, if you are able to round out this 3 step plan with some exercise, this is a very powerful way to move stress through the body. Even if all you have time for is a 10 minute brisk paced walk. Adding a minimum of 30 minutes of physical movement into your day, most days of the week, is essential for health, and stress management.

Keep in mind, that keeping our tanks topped up takes diligence, self-awareness, and creating some time in your day, every day, to allow for relaxation, rejuvenation and pleasure. When our reserves are built up, by using some the techniques suggested, we are better able to manage the unexpected snags and rough patches that come our way. When we are busy, and life is throwing all kinds of stuff at us all at once, or we just have a period where a lot is happening in a short period of time,  this is definitely no time to neglect your self-care. In fact, it is the most important time to increase more relaxation, and pleasurable activities into your day, to offset the pressure, and overwhelm you may be experiencing.

Until next time, keep calm, and get your relaxation on!

Leanne Oaten

Holistic Counsellor & Soul Centered Life Coach

Visit  www.soulworkcounselling.com for more information and upcoming workshops and events.

For more reading, I found this informative article that goes more into depth about unhealthy stress.

http://humananatura.com/2012/02/15/living-without-unhealthy-stress/

The perfect "diet" for YOU

I got your attention with the title didn't I? What I am about to share with you though, is probably not what you were expecting. If you are reading this, I can safely guess that it is because- in one way or another- you are searching, and maybe have been for a long while, to find the "perfect diet" to improve your health, or lose weight.

I have been there. I used to have a different stack of fad diet and nutrition program books beside my bed at all times. I too, was searching for the "perfect diet" the "perfect plan" to help me find the answers to my health issues, and lose extra weight- but now, looking back, I can say that none of these books or "experts" were able to give me this perfect plan, because nobody knows my body the way that I do!

Personal growth, and books written about getting healthy are invaluable. I am always reading something, and have a thirst for learning and expanding my awareness. If I am working on some area of my own personal development, or want to understand something better, I will find a book on that subject to offer me some new insights. If you are looking to improve in some area of your life, books are one way to help you broaden your knowledge, and understanding. But one thing I would like to share with you that I believe has been an important lesson for me:

I have learned to take the information that resonates with me and makes sense with where I intend to go, and discard the rest. No matter who says it, it has to be in alignment with what I believe to be true.

So, with that said, there is one exception that I believe we must keep in mind when reading and Googling to find answers:

No matter what you hear or what you read, even from the so called "experts", nobody can tell you what is the right way-for you to eat. We are all winging it. Only YOU are the expert of your own body!

I believe that avoiding too much processed, fake foods, animal foods, sugar, and refined white flours is a good place to begin. Making sure to avoid toxic fats, and including healthful ones like virgin coconut oil, olive, flax, hemp oils are also important.

While I can not call myself a "Vegan", I feel best on a mostly vegan diet, with the exception of a little free range chicken or wild salmon 1-2 times per week. I don't eat eggs, or dairy products, and am continually working to reduce processed, refined foods in my diet, however; I also believe to avoid these things exclusively takes a lot of joy out of eating and living. How many parties or gatherings I have been to where there was nothing I could eat, and had to bring my own food. That is no fun at all!

I love to follow Kris Carr, she is a Vegan and emphasizes the importance of a diet focused mostly on plants, and raw fruits and veggies, but her approach leaves some room for flexibility, and a reasonable amount of convenience foods like soba noodles, rice crackers, and vegan protein powder and plant milk substitutes.

As I said though, this is what feels best for my body, and my beliefs are my own. I have always been drawn to more vegetarian/animal free foods, and it just happens I feel my best when I eat this way. Some people will say they absolutely can not imagine a life without cheese or meat everyday. And if that is working for you, then why mess with what is working?

Strive to learn, continue to grow, refine and change what you are eating, have fun with trying new foods or trying new recipes- because as it has been said, "You are what you eat", so it goes without saying, eat well to live well. But for me, trying to follow an extremely restrictive eating style does not work. I do know that when I eat crappy foods, I feel...well...crappy. So, I avoid eating foods that make me feel awful for the simple reason I love to feel good, and I love myself enough to fuel my body with good food, that makes me feel at my best. I encourage you to continue to refine and play around with your eating style until you find the "perfect diet" for you!

I welcome your comments below, feel free to share your experiences with what is working well for you!

Live well,

Leanne Oaten
Holistic Counsellor, R.P.Cc, Wellness Leader
www.soulworkcounselling.com

Vegan, and amazing chocolate spice coookies

As wellness seekers, we are always striving to eat well, and put only the healthiest foods into our bodies as much as possible. While eating treats, sugar and processed flour is best kept to a minimum, we all need to have treats to make life a little sweeter. I always do my best to bake healthy cookies, muffins and breads using the most healthful ingredients possible. I never buy pre-packaged cookies or baked goods because they are all loaded with unhealthy fats, white flour, and sugar and other nasty ingredients I do not want to put in my body. If you are going to have a treat, why not make your own, and adjust the ingredients so that you always know what you are eating?

 Here is a delicious recipe for an egg-free, dairy-free cookie that will knock your socks off. It is like a ginger snap, with a hit of chocolate, and a little kick of spice.

Vegan chocolate spice cookies

Sift into medium sized bowl:

1/2 cups spelt flour
1/4 tsp. Ginger
1 tsp. Cinnamon
1/4 tsp cloves
1/4 tsp. Nutmeg
pinch cayenne pepper (optional, or add more for more heat)
2 tbs. Cocoa powder
1 tsp. Baking soda
1/4 cup chocolate chips (if you are a chocolate lover!)

Whisk or blend with hand mixer:

1/2 C. Coconut oil (melted on low heat)

1/2 C. Coconut palm sugar

1/4 C. Organic, unsulphured molasses

1 flax egg (or other vegan equivalent) *

Add oil, sugar, mixture to dry ingredients, and mix well.

Bake @ 350 for about 10-12 mins. Watch closely so they don't burn!

*Flax eggs are a great way to bind your baked goods together, and add a nice bit of healthy fats too!

• 3 Tbs = 1 egg.
• Mix 1/3 cup finely ground flax seed with 1 cup of water. Mix well by hand or in a blender. Store in air tight glass container for up to 6 days. Makes equivalent of 6 eggs.

Enjoy, and good luck only eating just one!

 

~Leanne

 

www.soulworkcounselling.com

 

 

products you may be using that are toxic to your health

 

Detoxify your body& home

 

The word 'detox' has become a buzz word related to anything from diets plans, detox products, spa treatments, and certain super foods know for their detoxifying properties.
Keeping your body and home clear of as many toxins as possible, is an important part to staying healthy, and preventing disease.  There is endless information and books on the subject of detoxification, but here I will give you a simple version of a few simple changes you can make to reduce your exposure to unhealthy toxins.

 There are many cleanse kit products available at most health food stores, as well as detox diet plans and books to guide you through foods to avoid, and lifestyle changes to make to assist in the detoxification process. If you feel drawn to use some of those products, and that works well for you, then by all means continue to do what is working. 

Here are some additional ways to decrease your exposure to toxins:

~ Use natural skincare products that are free from parabens and other toxic preservatives and chemicals. There are many wonderful products available made with all natural, safe ingredients. Remember this rule of thumb: If you can't eat it, it shouldn't be put on your skin! Not that you would eat body wash, but the point is that the ingredients should be pure enough that if you did ingest some every day,  over time, you wouldn't get sick. Our skin absorbs everything we put on it!

~ Eat organically grown produce
Pesticides are used on just about everything conventionally grown from grains to produce. Do your best within your budget to purchase and consume organic foods as much as possible. For a list of the most heavily sprayed produce read: How to save money on organic produce

~ Switch to healthy fats/oils
For cooking the best oil by far is coconut oil. It does not become toxic at high tempratures like other oils, and is great for anything from baking (in place of butter or other oils/margarine) to cooking, to use as a facial and body moisturizer! Extra Virgin, cold pressed coconut oil is best. (Costco has amazing organic coconut oil)

~Green clean your home
There are no excuses anymore to use Mr. Clean and those other harsh cleaning products! When you clean with chemicals, you are breathing in all the vapors, which are absorbed into your body, and are not good for your health, as well as your pets, and children- and the environment when they are rinsed down the drain.
I love using natural products that smell like essential oils and plant extracts, rather than synthetic fragrances and chemicals. A good brand that works well, and is comparable in price to the chemical laden types, is Clorox Green works. They have laundry/dish soap and other effective cleaners that work great.

Open your windows daily to allow fresh air to circulate, as well. Our indoor air quality can become more toxic than the air outside!


These are just a few things you can do to begin living greener and cleaner. Have fun with it, try new products and enjoy knowing that they are healthy and not toxic to your health!

 ~Leanne


Leanne Oaten

Holistic Counsellor/ Wellness Leader

250-319-3630

www.soulworkcounselling.com

 

Is your health at risk? The #1 indicator that increases your risk for disease

The one calculation that could save your life, and help you prevent disease.

Your waist to hip ratio (WHR) is a really accurate indicator that says a lot about your current health, and  risk for disease. Carrying most of your weight and fat around your abdomen (abdominal obesity), is the most dangerous area to hold excess fat - putting your risk of developing  heart disease, diabetes, stroke, and even cancer.

The best way to monitor your progress when trying to lose excess body fat is to get familiar     with your WHR. Reducing your WHR is essential for disease prevention, and here's how you get started:


You will need:
-A flexible measuring tape
 -A notebook
- Someone to help you measure accurately if you are having difficulty

Step 1: Wrap measuring tape around waist (as shown in picture) above your belly button
Pull tape flat against skin, but not too tight as to indent the skin. Write this measurement in your note book.

Step 2: Measure widest part of hip are (as shown) and also write this measurement in your note book.

Step 3: Divide waist measurement, by your hip number. The result is your WHR. Compare this number with the chart above to see where you are at.

Women with less than 0.8 WHR, and for men 0.9 is considered in the safe zone. A WHR of more than 1.0 for either gender is considered "high risk" for disease and obesity related illness.



If you are in the "danger zone" it is essential to take steps to lower your BMI through cleaning up your diet, getting activity into your day, and managing your stress levels. A holistic approach to weight loss is the most effective, in that the premise for this approach is intended to lead to permanent, healthy lifestyle change, rather than reaching for the next fad diet or magic supplement. Good nutrition, exercise, and addressing any emotional, mental issues, as well as creating life balance and managing stress levels, are key components of a balanced weight loss program. The idea is that the changes that are made are for life, not for a week or two. If the root cause of the weight gain is  not properly attended to, the weight will often come back. Take some steps toward getting healthy, and the weight will eventually take care of itself. Getting healthy from within, is the path to lasting change.

Yours in good health,
Leanne


Leanne Oaten is a Holistic Counsellor and healthy lifestyle coach. She assists others on their path to health, wellness and reaching their healthy, ideal body weight through a holistic approach.
She can be reached at 250-319-3630


 -

Healthy breakfast cookies

 

Made with LOVE breakfast cookies

 

 

This recipe was inspired by my daughter who is a very picky eater- especially when it comes to breakfast on school mornings. She often will not eat much at all for breakfast, but she does love cookies! (What kid doesn't?)
I played around with this recipe until I packed as many healthful ingredients into these little gems as possibe to make them nutrient dense.They are low sugar, low refined flour, contain healthy fats, and protein from the hemp seeds.

Pair a couple of these with some fresh fruit or a smoothie for your finicky breakfast eater, or have one with your morning cuppa java! These are not just for kids, I happen to love these as I don't feel sick after eating them because they are low sugar, and only contain a small amount of refined flour. Coconut sugar is low glycemic, minimally processed, and one of the best sweetners available for baking if you are trying to avoid refined sugar.







Combine in a large bowl:

3 C.  rolled oats (not instant)
1 C. Spelt or Kamut flour (or gluten free alternative, although I can't tell you how they will turn out)
1/4 tsp. sea salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. nutmeg
1 tsp. ground ginger
dash cayenne pepper (optional, but adds a tiny hint of spice, but not so much the kids will notice)
1/4 cup hemp seed
1/4 cup ground flax


In a small bowl whisk together:

1 mashed ripe banana
1 C. unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup coconut palm sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 Tb melted coconut oil (add slowly while whisking so it doesn't solidify)

Add wet mixture to the dry mixture, and mix well to incorperate all ingredients. Mix in a few chocolate chips, a handful of raisins or cranberries and you are done!

Bake at 350F for about 10 mins. These cookies are best slightly undercooked so they stay soft and moist- so watch them closely!

Enjoy!

~Leanne


Leanne  Oaten is a Holistic Counsellor and Healthy Lifestyle coach, she is always in her kitchen experimenting, and mixing up something new and healthy, and loves to share her love and knowledge of food and healthy living to assist others in making positive changes in their life.
She can be reached at 250-319-3630
Visit her website